http://www.polyamory.com/forum/ Polyamory forum dating and personals en Wed, 22 May 2013 04:02:29 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.polyamory.com/forum/ http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47512&goto=newpost Wed, 22 May 2013 02:23:19 GMT Howzit? We've been through various learning curves in Poly... Seldom become actualized... not too overly able to label. We do enjoy sharing great hospitality, honesty, on-going, companionate/sensual/erotic interludes... Mostly, we seek deeper-going friendship(s) at bottom. Both of us are Het and inclinations run to Pam (wife) as center of men's attention. We do have young adult children, so we aren't what you'd call fancy free... We do enjoy good company, conversation, camping, adventures/excursions... Aren't into the whole, casual sex scene and mentalities... Neither do we push some high-flown, spiritual deally (more, just authentic folk)... As well, we'd enjoy just mixing with.... um... like-minded souls.

We've been through the dark parts too... been a journey. ]]> Introductions Aery http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47512 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47510&goto=newpost Wed, 22 May 2013 01:11:03 GMT Hi, I'm new so please forgive me if anything is repeated. I have a few questions about poly relationships.

The first is how do you decide who the V is in a poly relationship? I've always wondered if this just happens or do you and your primary partner decide?

Two: How do you pick/find other partners? Does the primary partners date the the secondary together? Does the hinge just date and the other primary gives input in the matter?

Three: How does it work if one of the primary pair is bisexual, but the other one isn't?

Four: How do you deal with a poly relationship if they primary pair has children and then decide to open the relationship?


Sorry for the length.
SpaceyGirl:cool: ]]> General Poly Discussions SpaceyGirl http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47510 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47502&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 20:21:18 GMT Hiya guys,
I know I'm still quite new and not posted much, but I've just started a blog about my experiences due to my Poly relationship and it would be great if I could have some poly-support from people!! please have a look! ]]> Life stories and blogs littlegiggler http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47502 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47491&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 17:43:06 GMT The Denver Metro Polyamory Group! The DMPG is open to all Polyamorous, Poly-Friendly, open-minded people interested in polyamory, poly... The Denver Metro Polyamory Group!

The DMPG is open to all Polyamorous, Poly-Friendly, open-minded people interested in polyamory, poly relationships, or the poly lifestyle. (We are GLBTQ and P friendly, and the poly-curious are welcome). The group encourages member involvement and hosts regular discussion groups and events with a focus on creating a poly community.

The DMPG membership has a strong desire to build friendships and interact directly so online activity is usually minimal.

Founded in November 2009, the DMPG currently consists of over 300 active members representing a variety of ages, races, orientations, and lifestyles. Anyone open-minded and poly-friendly is welcome to attend any of our events and be as involved in the group as they desire.

Since inception the DMPG and its members have held over 158 meetings and events. That’s an event at least every other week!

Though we call ourselves a group, the DMPG is much more than that. Managed with the intent of creating a support network and community for those identifying as polyamorous in the Denver Metro Area, to many of us the DMPG is as much a family as it is a social network.

What we do…
The DMPG currently enjoys a variety of activities:

Monthly discussion meetings. Anonymously submitted member questions and topics are discussed in depth in a lightly moderated forum welcoming participation from everyone.

Monthly focused discussion meetings. Lectures, presentations, and poly focused topic specific discussions, some with guest speakers, in a relaxing setting. Some past meetings: Polyamory 101, Flirting 101, Intimacy Presentation, Non-violent Communication.

Bi-monthly poly mixer. Meeting at a local pub for an evening of socializing and games. This is a great opportunity to come out and be yourself in a relaxed setting where you can meet other polyamorous people.

Bi-monthly group parties. Themed parties at a local club for dinner, drinks, dancing and more. Past events have included a Luau, Pajama Party, and Holiday Party.

DMPG Game Night. Members join together monthly to enjoy a variety of games from simple to complex in a friendly, opening environment over food and drinks. Everyone is encouraged to bring their favorite game!

DMPG Writer’s Group. Meeting monthly, the group focuses on growing writing skills with practices, exercises, exchange of ideas, critiques, support, encouragement, and discussion.

DMPG Treasury. The DMPG enjoys a healthy group Treasury funded by anonymous, voluntary donations from members and fund raising. Managed by the group Treasurer, financial activity is exposed for review by all members and supports group functions as well as the following groups specifically.

DMPG Book Club. Meeting monthly the club reads and discusses polyamory related texts such as: The Ethical Slut, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Fifth Agreement which are purchased for use as needed by the DMPG Treasury.

DMPG Library. We enjoy a group Library which contains poly related books, magazines, and CD’s. Books purchased and used by the DMPG Book Club are donated to the Library once the Book Club has completed their review. We also enjoy donations from individuals and organizations. Library contents are presented online for ease of access by members and maintained by two volunteer Librarians.

Other events… Our members love talking about Polyamory, meeting with other polyamorists, and meeting new members! There are often other events such as: Poly Newbie Discussion, Sunday Afternoon Tea, summer BBQ’s, brunches, hot springs trips, festivals, camping and more!

The DMPG enjoys relationships with local groups such as Loving More and others.

Meetup.com : http://www.meetup.com/Denver-Metro-Polyamory-Group/

The public facing side of the DMPG, this is where people can find us, we schedule and manage our events, and maintain our membership. This is where you go to find out about the Denver Metro Polyamory Group.

How to find us…
Denver Metro Polyamory Group
On Meetup.com:
http://www.meetup.com/Denver-Metro-Polyamory-Group/

Schedule of monthly events:
First Thursday each month: Game Night!
Second Tuesday each month: Focused Discussion Group Meeting.
Second Saturday each month: Poly Mixer or Poly Party.
Fourth Thursday each month: Discussion Group Meeting.

Costs and Fees:
Joining the group on Meetup is free! Currently there are no membership dues or fees required for membership. The group is managed with the intent of keeping events free, or low cost.
We ask only that members support the venues we use by purchasing food or drink as they provide space to us free of charge. ]]> Meetings and Events Doc http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47491 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47484&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 15:52:31 GMT Hey there we are a poly triad (one male two females) my husband and I started poly 6 months ago when we added our third to our family. In the mean... Hey there we are a poly triad (one male two females) my husband and I started poly 6 months ago when we added our third to our family. In the mean time we have moved in together and now she is expecting my husbands child (an oops but a good oops). So we are navigating the waters, and somewhat blindly I may add so my hopes are we can find likeminded people here who are or have delt with the things we are facing. Please feel free to send us messages as we will try to share what we have learned and hopefully meet some people. Thanks guys. Xoxo *Amy, Case,Jess ]]> Introductions polywindsor http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47484 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47469&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 10:57:25 GMT Hi everyone! I wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

I'm a woman, married to my husband for 14 years. We have 3 kids. About two years ago we started talking about trying same room/soft swap to add to our sex life and quickly discovered that was not for us.

I've always been attracted to other women. So when I met my now girlfriend I was almost instantly hit with strong feelings. We became best friends overnight. She was ending an unhappy marriage and my husband and I quickly stepped up to help her with her four kids.

Feelings grew. My husband always joked that I could fool around with another woman if I wanted to but this was not fooling around. So after long talks with him, with her, and with the three of us we are giving a three way relationship a shot.

We had to move away from her last July. (Military). It's been so hard but very fulfilling at the same time. Not having a physical relationship has done amazing things for our emotional relationship. All three of us have been able to talk about what we want and what we need. How to care for the kids. If all goes well we plan to join our families when my husband retires in a few years.

So that's the short version. :)

I'm looking forward to talking with people who are understanding of our unconventional relationship. If you want to know anything about me just ask. Ill see you around the boards. ]]> Introductions Maleficent http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47469 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47468&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 08:31:01 GMT I apologize for this late emotional post, but I feel I need to channel my pain into something. I have been in a relationship for 2 years, of which... I apologize for this late emotional post, but I feel I need to channel my pain into something.

I have been in a relationship for 2 years, of which 1 year has been poly. We live together. Over the last 4 or 5 months everything intimate has gone down hill. (We are in our early to mid 20's) Tonight, I just feel very hurt and alone. I can't help, but feel jealous over the new guy she is interested in. Mostly, because I don't feel like many of my needs are being met. I suppose when I say everything intimate has gone down hill, I mostly am speaking about her lack of interest in me as a lover. She doesn't want to have sex with me and she evades any situation that could lead to sex. We have talked about it a many times, and she simply says she just hasn't been interested in sex. For me i'ts about much more than sex. It's the lack of much romantic physical stimulation. 90% of our kissing might as well be exchanged with kissing my mother. She says she loves me and wants to be with me still. I just feel left wanting and hurting with jealousy over this guy she wants to be physical with. (In the past her involvement with other men hasn't bothered me because i could feel good about my needs and our relationship)

-Addition: I suppose it might help to fill in that throughout this year I have had little luck in fostering outside involvement or relationships. When most interested girls hear about poly/open relationships they walk away. ]]> Poly Relationships Corner rembrandt88 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47468 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47463&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 06:48:31 GMT I love my wife, I really do but I've caught feelings for a woman that she doesn't approve of I got into poly to avoid the feeling of being trapped but yet somehow I find myself back here...wanting someone that I can't have solely because of an outside party. I'm not sure whether to scratch my itch or ignore it but if I ignore it I'm afraid it's going to come right back :-( ]]> Poly Relationships Corner Kraven http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47463 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47449&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 01:41:07 GMT Hi everyone,

New to this lifestyle. My hubby and I have been swingers since we met (its actually how we met) but I don't think that lifestyle was ever for me. I tried poly when I was 20 and don't think I was emotionally ready for it. I am new to it again and honestly still not completely sure. However, I have my husband of 13 years that I had to move away from for grad school and my boyfriend of almost 6 weeks that is slowly evolving.

Even when I wasn't technically poly, I had a close male friend that was everything to me but sex. In fact, everyone called him my second husband. My new boyfriend took the place of that relationship miss.

I believe no one person can be everything for another. However, I am very worried because our culture has placed in us this need to be monogamous (which as a biologist I understand is totally unnatural). I hope to learn from successful relationships here so that we can all be happy. Thats really all I want, for everyone to feel loved and fulfilled in life.

I have a situation that makes things more complex. My husband and I have an 8 year old son. My major concern is that I do not damage him psychologically in any way.

I look forward to getting to meet everyone here and learn lots. ]]> Introductions LadySFI http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47449 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47445&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 23:17:47 GMT He cheated and lied..it hurt. I am having trouble letting it go, it keeps popping up in conversation and turning a conversation into a fight. I am... He cheated and lied..it hurt. I am having trouble letting it go, it keeps popping up in conversation and turning a conversation into a fight. I am angry and hurt and I can honestly say that I hate the female that participated. I have never wanted to hit someone over the head with a frying pan more in my life. Forgiveness is not my strong point. Any tips on forgiving him and her? ]]> General Poly Discussions genebean http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47445 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47440&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 22:26:49 GMT Hi, My wife and I are in a poly v relationship with her being the hinge. We have a question for all others in this type of relationship. Since we... Hi, My wife and I are in a poly v relationship with her being the hinge. We have a question for all others in this type of relationship. Since we have only been in this full time relationship....sort of full time as he does live with us but he is only home on the weekends due to his work. The question is how do others in v relationship split their time together. He and I are not sexually involved and we do all enjoy eachothers company but they need their "alone" time just as my wife and I do. We have not so far had any 3 some activity and haven't really talked about it so as asked, how do others in v's split up the "alone" time?? ]]> Poly Relationships Corner sterling119 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47440 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47494&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 17:53:04 GMT Hello I am new to this forum and I have a situation. I recently began a polyamorous relationship with my kids father and I have come to realize that... Hello I am new to this forum and I have a situation. I recently began a polyamorous relationship with my kids father and I have come to realize that I am not that "loved" or atleast it feels that way. He has had a relationship with these two girls for a total of 7 years and I have known him for 10. We have two kids together and until now I had the apartment we first moved into together about 9 years ago, before any of the two were in the picture. He would make me think tha I was always crazy and being a hypocrite to believe that he had something more with any of them. Turns out he has had more of a relationship with them then he has ever had with me. I feel now as if I am a third wheel. I was under the impression that this "all around" relationship would have worked out living together because he made it seem as if they saw me as a partner for them as well. Me, being bi, after awhile of researching polyamorous relationships and having had dealt with them for so long, thought that this could indeed WORK! Plus, that I would be able to rekindle our lost love and relationship. As of yet, I have had no experience of such. at first, it was nice, but now I see that they are so demading of his time and the time they expect from him to spend with them that I find it difficult to find time available for me. He says I need to show more initiative, but I don't like having to ask for my time or even having to do that in the first place! I am in a bad situation. My kids are happy because they have daddy and a bigger home where they have grown comfortabilty in and love. I love the home and the space and I really feel that I can make ths work for him and I but I don't know what to do. He said this would brng us together and it hasn't. I have given everything to him and I have set myself aside for the other girls and their needs but no one care about mine. I thought this relationship looked out for everyone involved?? They seem to do it for each other but not me. Maybe it is because thay have beend oing this together for longer than I have been involved (which is what HE made look like they didn't have LIKE THAT EVER). I mean sexually and everyhting! He says though that I am a different species than they are. That they are just a diiferent animal and that he is proud of how good I am doing so far. I don't know. I am so sad I just can't see how this is progress. ]]> Poly Relationships Corner MZTERY http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47494 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47418&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 13:53:27 GMT I know my few posts have all been kinda downers, but my wife and I are still at it. Things continue to break down with the guy she was seeing. He's blown her off a few times, and this last time really hurt her, again. For some reason, she doesn't want to be the one to call it quits with him, and personally, I don't think he's going to do it either. Regardless, they're working it out.

For the most part, I've been good with the whole thing. I feel I made it over a pretty major hump. I had some minor setbacks with my anxiety, but nothing detrimental.

Depending on how things go with her guy, we're thinking about trying again and going with a different approach. I've been of the mind that if we seek out a couple, things might be a little easier. Particularly, with the communication and openness piece.

She's still a little uncomfortable with the idea of me being with someone else, and I'm fine with that. Frankly, I'm unsure about the idea myself. I would be ok with her meeting a very open, honest and comfortable guy, but I also wonder if I shouldn't be trying my hand at this as well, or at least keep my options open. That's of course a subject open to more conversation between her and I though.

If we do decide to look for a couple, what is a good way of going about it? We looked at polyamorydate.com, but they want quite a bit of money, and the reviews seem iffy. We're really not looking to jump in the sack right away, but genuinely develop some deeper friendships with possible benefits. ]]> Poly Relationships Corner Librarian http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47418 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47392&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 04:18:46 GMT It's been forever since I've been on these forums, so I do not know how active it is.

I want to ask a semi stupid question. I've been in a poly relationship 3 times, all three times ended badly. My guy wasn't the problem, it was always the other partner (male or female) that kept bringing up "either me or him" or "either me or her". I pretty much always had to choose between the two and it pissed me off.

My guy is straight and he is mono all the way, I'm the one that's bisexual and poly all the way. I dated my guy first so he was always first in my heart (he saved my life literally), I've always felt lucky that my guy would be willing to share me with others and keep an open mind.

However, for some stupid reason and for three times, I ended up with partners that made me choose between them! I even set up the ground rules in the beginning:

* Don't try to make me choose, you will lose. Doesn't matter who you are.

* Do realize that because I've been with my guy the longest, I'm kind of biased on how I feel towards you. With time, the bias will fade hopefully.

* If you are over-seas or out-of-state and you seriously want to be with me, do realize that naturally since I am around my guy alot, I won't spend every waking moment with you but I'll try my best to spend equal amount of time with you.

* Respect my need for space and I'll respect yours.

* You have to be serious, I don't fool around. So that means no summer flings, no agreeing to date me because you just want to pass the time, and no treating me like crap.

* Respect my guy. You don't HAVE to like him or love him if you do not want to, but please respect the fact that he's going to be part of your life too.

^

These were my ground rules and all of them agreed to it. In the end it didn't matter because all of them pulled the "me or him" or "me or her" card T___T

After the last boyfriend broke up with me abruptly and I became depressed for three weeks over that. We decided enough was enough. My guy was seriously pissed off at the last guy, I kinda liked the fact that he was willing to hunt the jerk boyfriend down and kill him for hurting me xD

We closed our relationship, became exclusive to each other only and got married. We're still married and I couldn't be happier. My husband tries to be a different person almost every day, so I wouldn't feel the need to date another. I don't remember the exact words but he said something like:

"I want to be the only one for you. If that means for me to be different so that you wouldn't need to date another man/woman, so be it".

Basically, he's wearing multiple hats at once. There are times when he's the same old guy I fell in love with, and then there are times where he completely catches me off guard and I'm like, "who is he?". I'm perfectly fine with this set up and I try to be random too so he wouldn't miss anything either ;)

My question is: If you're in a close relationship currently and may or may not have plans to open your relationship in the future, are you still considered poly? ]]> General Poly Discussions CandyBunnii http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47392 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47391&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 04:17:22 GMT I am new so Ill just jump right in.I am 30, have muscular dystrophy and am in a wheelchair, I have been in a monogamous relationship with my BF(35)... I am new so Ill just jump right in.I am 30, have muscular dystrophy and am in a wheelchair, I have been in a monogamous relationship with my BF(35) for the past 11 years and we have been living together at my mothers house. My BF moved out to another town about 45 mins away claiming it was to do something on his own. 2 weeks later I found out he was seeing another guy(19) and living in the same house, seperate bedrooms without my knowing for the past 6 months. He says they haven't had sex yet do to ED, which was a slight friction point during our relationship. It broke my heart I cried for 2 days, and the other guy suggested a 3 person relationship. My BF says he loves us both and wants to continue our relationship along with the other guy. I still love my BF, my mind is doubting it will work but my heart wants it to. I am not sure what to decide. To Poly or not to Poly. ]]> Poly Relationships Corner pertparty369 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47391