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-   -   Sex wait (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69099)

ate2007 02-27-2014 11:50 AM

Sex wait
So how long do you wait for sex in a new relationship?
I've with my GF for about 3, going on 4 months. We've made out and touched and everything but no sex. She's a total tease, too, which makes it hard for me not to jump her when I see her. She wants to take it slow but...jeez, how is 3-4 months not slow? Am I being impatient? How long should I wait?

london 02-27-2014 12:54 PM

For me, it would depend on why she wants to wait.

ate2007 02-27-2014 12:58 PM


Originally Posted by london (Post 260699)
For me, it would depend on why she wants to wait.

She says she wants to wait in order to build a solid foundation for a relationship...

Magdlyn 02-27-2014 01:01 PM

2nd date. Life is short.

PolyinPractice 02-27-2014 01:01 PM

Neither you or your gf are in the wrong. But either you are okay with waiting or you break up. Not much else you can do...

FullofLove1052 02-27-2014 01:27 PM

Waiting is well within her right. Obviously she has her reasons. Perhaps she has been burned in the past and learned from her mistakes. Perhaps the foundation in your relationship is not as strong as she would prefer. Talk to her without interjecting your need for the physical. Or you can respect it, break up amicably, or get your needs met elsewhere.

Magdlyn 02-27-2014 01:37 PM

Are you two virgins?

ate2007 02-27-2014 01:40 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 260706)
Are you two virgins?

We're newbies when it comes to having sex with women.

Marcus 02-27-2014 02:12 PM


Originally Posted by ate2007 (Post 260693)
How long should I wait?

Until what?

I take from the fact that they have been clear about wanting to wait that you have expressed your interest in having sex sooner rather than later. That means, you've asked, they've said "not yet", case closed.

As others have said, the ball is in your court now regarding waiting patiently, moving on entirely, or looking for someone who wants sex right now without breaking up with your current partner.

I would move away from trying to classify their decision to wait as reasonable or unreasonable. It's just a fact, that's what they've decided and your opinion on the matter couldn't be less relevant.

Magdlyn 02-27-2014 02:13 PM


Originally Posted by ate2007 (Post 260707)
We're newbies when it comes to having sex with women.

Oh hang on. I had to look up your other posts.

So, you are a married woman, married to a man, and newly poly, and now you have a gf.

You've "made out and touched and everything," but no "sex?" Well, what kind of sex do you want with another woman? Making out and "touching" IS sex, in my book, in my experience with my gf. Have you not been fully naked together? Do you want oral (giving and/or getting), vibrators, strap-on play? What?

Where is she drawing the line? What are her trust issues preventing more intense forms of sex? More time together? Is she new to poly? Is she afraid of lesbian sex?

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