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Old 11-06-2012, 06:39 PM
AggieSez AggieSez is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 46
Default Input from non-primary partners sought: How to treat non-primaries well?

I run a blog called, which is by and for people who identify as poly or open who don't have (and perhaps don't want or aren't seeking) a primary partner of their own.

I'm putting together a post that would be list of tips intended for people in poly/open primary couples, with advice about specific things they can do or avoid in order to treat their non-primary partners well.

I realize this advice would vary greatly according to the relationships and individuals involved -- but I figured I'd just gather as much input as possible and look for common themes.

I want to keep this simple, so it's easy for people to read and remember. I would like it to be do/don't bullet points, not essays. Just the basics, a jumping off point for discussion. Think of it as a brief, action-oriented corollary to Franklin Veaux's popular and controversial "Secondary's bill of rights" (

Got input? Please comment below, or on my blog post seeking input ( or e-mail me at Please clarify in your contribution whether you are currently have a primary partner.

While people who are part of a primary couple may have good insight to offer on this topic, my goal here is to present tips that come from the perspective of solo poly/open folk -- since the vast majority of what's been written about poly/open relationships is not from our point of view.

If I use your input in my post I'm happy to attribute to you if you like, but will keep it strictly anonymous unless you give clear permission to attribute to you.


- Aggie

Last edited by AggieSez; 11-06-2012 at 07:25 PM.
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