Lovinghusbandforever
New member
Recently my life has gotten very complicated. I'm usually a very emotionally stable person, as of late I've been experiencing a lot of extreme ups and downs due to the change of lifestyle that my wife and I have decided on.
I'm a father of two beautiful children. My daughter of four and my son of eight. I've been with my wife for nearly eighteen years and married the last nine.
I guess I'll just start from the beginning in hopes of giving the full scope of the situation.
So a few months back my wife came home after a girls night out with a couple of her co-workers. She was a little tipsy and mentioned that she might have a little more than a crush on one of them. She then started to talk about possibly having her come home after the next girls night out. Being a man, I thought about how this is a rare opportunity that I shouldn't let slip by. So I tell her to look into it further.
As the next couple of weeks go by, I periodically checked in with her on the status of the situation. It was starting to sound like it was going to happen. I had no idea of how to prepare for something like this. I didn't research the possible outcomes of a scenario like this one. My only concern at this point was emotions getting involved. They were already involved. I was too blind to realize it.
So it happened and it was great. We had a wonderful evening and the next thing I knew, it was happening somewhat frequently.
A little info about our partner. She also has kids. Three, all from different dads. Never married. She was in the middle of a break up from a bad relationship that lasted almost nine years when all this started. We helped her move back into her parents house which is over an hour away from here. Things started to go bad there, with her dad, who is an addict and very emotionally unstable. She went through this with him as a kid and didn't want her kids to be exposed to the same thing. I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but my wife and I felt the same way about it, so we offered her to come and stay with us. That included herself, her three kids, a cat and a dog. We also have a cat and two dogs. We live in a one bedroom with an office that our kids sleep in. To tally that up, its eight people, three dogs, and two cats in a tiny home.
My wife has fallen head over heals in love with her. I have not. I do care very much for her, though. And this is where it started getting scary. extremely scary. Watching the way my wife looks into her eyes, the very same way she used to look into mine.. Tears the soul out of me. I've had good days when the both of them show me affection, but on days when its just between them, it kills me.
Lately, I've been getting better about this. My wife swears up and down that she will never leave me. That if this situation does crash and burn, she will stay with me. She also told me though, if it does go like that, it will never be the same between us.
Since I've started to control the jealousy, another major issue popped up. My wanted to get a ring tattooed on her ring finger, right next to the ring I put on her on our wedding day, that says our partners name with always forever and she wanted our partner to get the same with my wife's name on it. This hit me so hard, its unbelievable. I told her, after looking up some info on these types of relationships, that we have not set up any boundaries and that this might have to be our first. I asked her to look at it from my perspective. I said "How would you feel if it was her and I that were madly in love and we wanted to get that tattoo in the most sacred of ways, that doesn't include you?". She saw my point, but walked away from me and wouldn't have anymore of that conversation. We haven't spoken since. This was last night. I cant even smile when I'm around all the kids. In fact, I've just kind of been hiding out and giving her space.
It's hard to hear her laughing and playing with everyone but me. I feel like since i finally put my foot down on something, that it may have been a major mistake. Any advice would help, as I am completely alone on this. I absolutely love her to death. She and the kids are my whole world and it feels like its all crashing down.
Thanks in advance.
I'm a father of two beautiful children. My daughter of four and my son of eight. I've been with my wife for nearly eighteen years and married the last nine.
I guess I'll just start from the beginning in hopes of giving the full scope of the situation.
So a few months back my wife came home after a girls night out with a couple of her co-workers. She was a little tipsy and mentioned that she might have a little more than a crush on one of them. She then started to talk about possibly having her come home after the next girls night out. Being a man, I thought about how this is a rare opportunity that I shouldn't let slip by. So I tell her to look into it further.
As the next couple of weeks go by, I periodically checked in with her on the status of the situation. It was starting to sound like it was going to happen. I had no idea of how to prepare for something like this. I didn't research the possible outcomes of a scenario like this one. My only concern at this point was emotions getting involved. They were already involved. I was too blind to realize it.
So it happened and it was great. We had a wonderful evening and the next thing I knew, it was happening somewhat frequently.
A little info about our partner. She also has kids. Three, all from different dads. Never married. She was in the middle of a break up from a bad relationship that lasted almost nine years when all this started. We helped her move back into her parents house which is over an hour away from here. Things started to go bad there, with her dad, who is an addict and very emotionally unstable. She went through this with him as a kid and didn't want her kids to be exposed to the same thing. I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but my wife and I felt the same way about it, so we offered her to come and stay with us. That included herself, her three kids, a cat and a dog. We also have a cat and two dogs. We live in a one bedroom with an office that our kids sleep in. To tally that up, its eight people, three dogs, and two cats in a tiny home.
My wife has fallen head over heals in love with her. I have not. I do care very much for her, though. And this is where it started getting scary. extremely scary. Watching the way my wife looks into her eyes, the very same way she used to look into mine.. Tears the soul out of me. I've had good days when the both of them show me affection, but on days when its just between them, it kills me.
Lately, I've been getting better about this. My wife swears up and down that she will never leave me. That if this situation does crash and burn, she will stay with me. She also told me though, if it does go like that, it will never be the same between us.
Since I've started to control the jealousy, another major issue popped up. My wanted to get a ring tattooed on her ring finger, right next to the ring I put on her on our wedding day, that says our partners name with always forever and she wanted our partner to get the same with my wife's name on it. This hit me so hard, its unbelievable. I told her, after looking up some info on these types of relationships, that we have not set up any boundaries and that this might have to be our first. I asked her to look at it from my perspective. I said "How would you feel if it was her and I that were madly in love and we wanted to get that tattoo in the most sacred of ways, that doesn't include you?". She saw my point, but walked away from me and wouldn't have anymore of that conversation. We haven't spoken since. This was last night. I cant even smile when I'm around all the kids. In fact, I've just kind of been hiding out and giving her space.
It's hard to hear her laughing and playing with everyone but me. I feel like since i finally put my foot down on something, that it may have been a major mistake. Any advice would help, as I am completely alone on this. I absolutely love her to death. She and the kids are my whole world and it feels like its all crashing down.
Thanks in advance.