Hello,
I would like advice for a person in a polyamorous relationship that is not use to any of this.
For a little over a year I have been dating a girl (B). B and I have grown very close over that year. S has expressed on many occasions that she truly loves me. In May, B asked if we could be in a Polyamorous relationship. B had been seeing a few guys on the side due to the distance between us. I was okay with this because I was a few hours away on an internship. I assumed this would keep her happy.
I did not like the thought of polyamory at first. I did a good deal of thinking on the matter and came to the conclusion that this was her and if I indeed love B, as I do, I should not try and change her. I agreed to the deal and she began dating another man, R.
It has been a few months and I am beginning to adjust to this lifestyle. I am a hopeless romantic and never thought that I would ever be in a relationship like this. I still have a few qualms about the whole thing and any help would be appreciated.
1)I do not fully understand how a person segregates relationships. How does a person separate their love life into multiple parts without the parts receiving less attention than they would by themselves?
2)How does one person not receive more attention than the other and how can that be deemed fair?
3)Do people in the middle, such as B is, need more attention than one person can offer? If one of the outliers, like R or myself, do everything right and more than adequately cover every aspect of a relationship, does this mean B just wants more?
4)Is polyamory a phase? I do not mean that as derogatory. I know it is more than what a phase seems to infer, I just want to know if a polyamorous person could eventually become monogamous without having to change who they are.
I do love B. She means the world to me. It sounds selfish, but I have to be number one in any relationship with a significant other. I am worried that the polyamory means B does not actually feel the way she claims too feel.
Anyways, thank you for taking time to read this and for any possible help.
Sincerely,
H
I would like advice for a person in a polyamorous relationship that is not use to any of this.
For a little over a year I have been dating a girl (B). B and I have grown very close over that year. S has expressed on many occasions that she truly loves me. In May, B asked if we could be in a Polyamorous relationship. B had been seeing a few guys on the side due to the distance between us. I was okay with this because I was a few hours away on an internship. I assumed this would keep her happy.
I did not like the thought of polyamory at first. I did a good deal of thinking on the matter and came to the conclusion that this was her and if I indeed love B, as I do, I should not try and change her. I agreed to the deal and she began dating another man, R.
It has been a few months and I am beginning to adjust to this lifestyle. I am a hopeless romantic and never thought that I would ever be in a relationship like this. I still have a few qualms about the whole thing and any help would be appreciated.
1)I do not fully understand how a person segregates relationships. How does a person separate their love life into multiple parts without the parts receiving less attention than they would by themselves?
2)How does one person not receive more attention than the other and how can that be deemed fair?
3)Do people in the middle, such as B is, need more attention than one person can offer? If one of the outliers, like R or myself, do everything right and more than adequately cover every aspect of a relationship, does this mean B just wants more?
4)Is polyamory a phase? I do not mean that as derogatory. I know it is more than what a phase seems to infer, I just want to know if a polyamorous person could eventually become monogamous without having to change who they are.
I do love B. She means the world to me. It sounds selfish, but I have to be number one in any relationship with a significant other. I am worried that the polyamory means B does not actually feel the way she claims too feel.
Anyways, thank you for taking time to read this and for any possible help.
Sincerely,
H