Why Marriage Is Corrupt

In my opinion, the idea of marriage is very horrid, the fact that you could get benefits from loving someone so much that you legally want to bind yourselves as a family twists the idea of love in general and somewhat telling aromantic people that if you don't find love, there is something wrong with you, so you don't get the reward others get.

Telling children who's parents aren't married that they're a terrible person or giving them a wicked name is a terrible thing to do, because you're saying that marriage is more important than a child's mental health and friendships.

Again, just my opinion, but do any of you agree with me?
 
I've been privately against marriage for 16+ years. Reason being, marriage is a promise, and a promise, by definition, purports to know the future. I got married in 1987, expecting to always be an active member of the church, and the marriage was largely based on that. The person I was, the person I believed I'd continue to be, was not the person I became. So for me to change, I had to hurt my wife. This makes me very sad, even angry. Marriage was a promise I shouldn't have made.

For the same reason, I am privately against any kind of commitment ceremony. But my poly companions greatly wanted a commitment ceremony, so I went along with it, and so far it has worked out. Knock on wood.
 
I think marriage works for some, but I agree it shouldn't be the only way to be "succesdful" in life. I've been married six years, have three children. I would do things worlds differently if I were the now me, then.
 
Mm, I'm not saying that marriage doesn't work, I'm just saying that turning it into a whole legal shebang is messed up.
 
telling aromantic people that if you don't find love, there is something wrong with you, so you don't get the reward others get.

Romance isn't a requirement of marriage. Any two consenting adults (in the US) can get married. Plenty of married people don't have romantic feelings for one another. I'm not sure I follow your logic that the institution is corrupt. If you're willing forego the party, anyone can get married for under $100. The only people that make real money off of marriage are the divorce lawyers and they're paid straight up, out in the open. They don't need to be corrupt, their services are in demand and their fees show it.
 
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To me marriage is just about choosing to legally share property and financial responsibility. It's just a safety net ensuring you can raise kids or work together to create a life and a home and one of you can't walk away with all the money one day.

It has very little to do with the quality of the relationship (though for some the legal protections of marriage may help them feel more secure and make the relationship easier as it does for me as someone who gave up work to raise and homeschool children). Moralising about it is certainly wrong.
 
Disclaimer: I have never been married before but am planning to marry my nesting partner (R) in November.

There are a lot of good reasons to get married, as well as a lot of bad ones. A marriage is what the people entering into it bring to it and continue to put into it, regardless of gender, orientation, relationship shape, or even number of people entering into the marriage.

Now I have issues with the wedding industry for sure, but not with marriage itself.
 
Marriage isn't Corrupt!

And society as a whole doesn't corrupt it either!
It maybe that individually you can't see or understand it to your benefit and the benefit of other's... That's individually!

I call what Bluebird and other wonderful people here have for arrangements... Marriage! And they do benefit society.
My 2 ctns

Now what is this thread really saying?
 
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Maybe not society as a whole, but certainly a very vocal part of society. Of course society is made up of individuals, but social standards are made by the majority.

Cat and I were married for 22 years, but without the piece of paper. Even though we always considered ourselves married, the state certainly doesn't. Shoot, my own mother never took the relationship seriously...lol.
 
Maybe not society as a whole, but certainly a very vocal part of society. Of course society is made up of individuals, but social standards are made by the majority.

Cat and I were married for 22 years, but without the piece of paper. Even though we always considered ourselves married, the state certainly doesn't. Shoot, my own mother never took the relationship seriously...lol.

That's funny... Yeah. Here the state would have considered you two married.
 
The funny thing is Cat, who was born here, thought this was a common law state. About 8 years in I looked into it and....nope. It was then I found out we were actually living illegally...lol
 
In my opinion, the idea of marriage is very horrid, the fact that you could get benefits from loving someone so much that you legally want to bind yourselves as a family twists the idea of love in general and somewhat telling aromantic people that if you don't find love, there is something wrong with you, so you don't get the reward others get.

Telling children who's parents aren't married that they're a terrible person or giving them a wicked name is a terrible thing to do, because you're saying that marriage is more important than a child's mental health and friendships.

Again, just my opinion, but do any of you agree with me?

I don't think marriage is at fault for the things people could possibly derive from it. I don't think marriage is meant to be a message to other people as much as a contract between those who chose enter it. I also don't think marriage is an explicit, or even implicit message to children about their value. I don't think I ever questioned my value as a child based on my parents relationship status.

I don't think a relationship is any more or less valid or valuable where those involved are married. The only advantage married partners have, in my view, is certain forms of legal protection. Ts certainly doesn't guarantee any specific level of permanence, commitment or value.
 
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