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  #211  
Old 09-07-2013, 08:11 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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If rust is such an issue, why not remain monogamous? Or else commit to not fluid bonding with others if that necessitates the other person losing their freedom to see others just for privilege of receiving your seminal fluid within their body?

It simply is not worth it to be honest.
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  #212  
Old 09-07-2013, 01:41 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Then stay monogamous instead of forcing rules upon others. You have the right to have your cake and eat it too. But your third has to play by your rules.. nice.
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  #213  
Old 12-29-2015, 04:10 PM
AJM AJM is offline
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I imagine the speed at which new partners are fluid bonded (if at all) is totally subjective and a personal decision.

I'm curious about what sort of exam/screenings most people on these forums get. Honestly, I've never had a STI test so excuse my ignorance. Do they offer these at any walk-in clinic or do people get these from their primary care physician?
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  #214  
Old 12-29-2015, 05:15 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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I would agree that it would be subjective and personal, as, I think, would the decision about whether to be tested for STIs first.

With my ex-boyfriend S2, I fluid-bonded a bit over a month into the relationship because I knew he preferred bareback to the point of it nearly being a fetish for him. He never objected to using condoms, though, and in fact at first said it was "too soon" for fluid bonding, when I said it was an option, because he was only a couple of months out of his marriage and I was the first new partner he'd had in about 16 years. He told me later, after we had fluid bonded, that he felt "weird" having condom-free sex with anyone other than his ex-wife. I wasn't tested before it happened, and I didn't ask him to be; I knew I hadn't engaged in any potentially risky sexual behavior since the last time I was tested, and I knew S2 hadn't been with anyone other than his ex-wife, so I didn't see testing as a necessary thing. (Hubby has no other partners, so even though I'm obviously fluid bonded with him, that isn't a factor in whether I am with anyone else or whether I need to be tested before fluid bonding with someone else.)

Of course, since S2 ended up thinking with his dick with a woman he had a date with about a month after he and I fluid bonded, and didn't use a condom with her solely because she said "you don't need to use a condom with me", I had to get tested anyway, as did he... And I got tested again about a month after he and I broke up, just to be certain.

I don't know how anyone else does the testing. In my case, after S2's "oops" with the other woman, I called my primary care to be tested and they said I had to go to an HIV/STI clinic that's associated with the practice, which I did. When I got tested this past fall, I just went straight to the clinic.

Right now, I'm only fluid bonded with Hubby, and I think it's staying that way for the foreseeable future. One of Woody's other partners has asked him to fluid bond with her because she has a latex sensitivity, and she also asked--and he agreed--that he not fluid bond with anyone else if he agrees to do so with her. (I'm still waiting for him to tell me whether he's actually going to... Last word was he was planning to but hadn't fully decided.) This was purely a case of timing; he told me that latex sensitivity or not, if I had asked him before she did, he would have fluid bonded with me only. I don't have a problem with it, though I admit to some envy, because she did ask first, and because latex doesn't bother me, I just get annoyed about the time lag needed to put on the dang condom.
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Hubby: my husband, male, 43, monogamous
My offspring: Alt, 20, agender; Country, 17, female
Woody: my Dom/partner, 51, male, poly
Hair: 21, male, Woody's son
Doll (42,F), Mouse (48,F), MH(unknown,M): Woody's housemates, my friends
Stella: 39, female, Woody's OSO
Franki: 45, female, Woody's LDR sub

Last edited by KC43; 12-29-2015 at 05:17 PM.
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  #215  
Old 12-29-2015, 05:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AJM View Post
I imagine the speed at which new partners are fluid bonded (if at all) is totally subjective and a personal decision.

I'm curious about what sort of exam/screenings most people on these forums get. Honestly, I've never had a STI test so excuse my ignorance. Do they offer these at any walk-in clinic or do people get these from their primary care physician?
I usually just get screened by my primary care provider or gyn. Both draw blood for labs in their office. The usual panel at my providers' offices is blood draw for HIV and syphillis. Vaginal swab testing for chlamydia, gonorrhea, & trich. These are all done every 6-12 months, or more frequently if symptomatic.

Testing for HPV (through the papsmear) and hepatitis A,B, & C, are done annually. HSV (herpes) swab testing is only done if you have lesions. My providers only do HSV 1&2 blood testing on request unless there are symptoms (lesions), or there was known exposure. They will also do a physical exam to check for lesions from syphillis, HSV, or HPV (genital warts version.)

There are some lesser known STIs that my providers only test for if there are issues and regular screening is negative. And, there are a few things like bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections that are not STIs but can be spread through sexual contact. I have had my provider request that my partner be treated with Diflucan when I had some issues with recurring yeast infections.

I tested positive for HPV (a type at higher risk for causing cancers, not genital warts type) for a while. And, I had the aforementioned issue with yeast infections and UTIs, but no other STIs so far. I consider routine testing part of prevention.

In the US, you can generally be tested through your primary care provider, ob/gyn, public health clinic, planned parenthood (or other sexual health clinic), or, for some testing, through online services (mail in your samples.)

Blue & I are fluid bonded.
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  #216  
Old 12-29-2015, 10:11 PM
AutumnLeaves AutumnLeaves is offline
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I get my one freebie of swabs and blood draw through my GP, which I've been getting once a year since I was like 14, except that for some reason the herpes test is an additional charge that I'm just not going to pay for. After that, I go to Planned Parenthood like everyone else because they're less expensive.

Back when I was young, stupid, and responsible only for myself, I had a lot of indiscriminate unbarriered sex with friends who also had unbarriered sex with other partners. I just tested frequently. Now that I'm responsible for Guitarist's sexual health and Purr's to a certain extent, that's not something I'm going to do. It's turned into a trust issue for me.
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  #217  
Old 12-29-2015, 10:58 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I've never been tested for STI's, but, I've only ever been with two women. I used a condom for a short time for birth control, but then I had a vasectomy.
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  #218  
Old 12-30-2015, 05:51 AM
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vinsanity0 vinsanity0 is offline
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It's interesting that very few people pop for the HSV tests, considering they are the most common and not curable. Many people who have it don't realize it because they never show symptoms.
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  #219  
Old 12-30-2015, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
It's interesting that very few people pop for the HSV tests, considering they are the most common and not curable. Many people who have it don't realize it because they never show symptoms.
My providers' rationale is that the results can be confusing. Only a negative for both or a positive for HSV 2 are conclusive. A positive for HSV 1 (which is very common), could be either genital or oral.
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  #220  
Old 12-30-2015, 01:05 PM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
It's interesting that very few people pop for the HSV tests, considering they are the most common and not curable. Many people who have it don't realize it because they never show symptoms.
I go to Planned Parenthood and HepC and HepB screening are de rigueur there.
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