I love the feedback and growth I get from the boards.
But am starting to feel like I’m “running the gauntlet” every time I post.
I get a lot of REALLY helpful responses. Analysis, skills, new perspectives, insights . And Kevin’s gentle sweet encouragement . Which make this where I want tocreach out to.
And a few that come across as “you know, you really suck at this’s. obvious unskilled newbie here. . I’m going to tell you so.” Usually people’s preconceptions kicking in—I’m neither newbie or what they portray me as - so I tray and head that off by giving more detail- on what I’m thinking, on the situation, or self-validating in response.
If takes enough emotional labor to deal with- that I’m starting to think o might be betteenoff not posting .
But It’a not just here- it’s everywhere.
And I think it’s a strategy problem.
Is there anyway to diminish the amount of judgement and up the amount of kindness and insight people offer? So I’m not opening myself up to quite as much condemnation?
I’m starting to feel like I’m totally misreading how to best deal with the culture here- and would like any gentle advice you have.
I hear to do names- I will.
I’m Trying to keep it a bit anonymous out of protection for some of the people in talibg about- who read the boards occasionally, as I fear oneday my posts will cause an explosion or breakup or breakdown. So I’m loathe to do a footer.
But am starting to feel like I’m “running the gauntlet” every time I post.
I get a lot of REALLY helpful responses. Analysis, skills, new perspectives, insights . And Kevin’s gentle sweet encouragement . Which make this where I want tocreach out to.
And a few that come across as “you know, you really suck at this’s. obvious unskilled newbie here. . I’m going to tell you so.” Usually people’s preconceptions kicking in—I’m neither newbie or what they portray me as - so I tray and head that off by giving more detail- on what I’m thinking, on the situation, or self-validating in response.
If takes enough emotional labor to deal with- that I’m starting to think o might be betteenoff not posting .
But It’a not just here- it’s everywhere.
And I think it’s a strategy problem.
Is there anyway to diminish the amount of judgement and up the amount of kindness and insight people offer? So I’m not opening myself up to quite as much condemnation?
I’m starting to feel like I’m totally misreading how to best deal with the culture here- and would like any gentle advice you have.
I hear to do names- I will.
I’m Trying to keep it a bit anonymous out of protection for some of the people in talibg about- who read the boards occasionally, as I fear oneday my posts will cause an explosion or breakup or breakdown. So I’m loathe to do a footer.