I loosely identify with the label "Relationship Anarchist."
Here's what I mean when I say that I am a relationship anarchist:
I co-create my relationships based on my specific dynamic with each person I am in relationship with. These relationships may or may not involve varying degrees of romantic or sexual intimacy, such as cuddling, holding hands, going for walks together, making out, flirting, having sex, etc. They might just involve talking. I do not limit intimacy to a specific couple form. I do not ride the relationship escalator from dating to living together to marriage to kids etc. I reject all conventional relationship scripts and choose ones that work for me.
Today my (current) nesting partner (soon to be ex-nesting partner) accused me of being patriarchal because I place greater value on sexual relationships than non-sexual ones. I'm not sure what she meant by this, and I can't ask her because she's at work and then will be tired from coming back from work tonight. So I thought I'd try here.
Is it oppressive or inherently wrong to place more value or emphasis on sexual relationships? If so, why?
Yes, I place high value on sex. To me, sex is the best thing in life and I still feel completely vexed by people who are like: "hot sex? no thanks. maybe later, if there's nothing good on facebook." I want to have as much sex as I possibly can before I grow old and die.
I also value friendship.
Do I value friendship as much as sex? I guess it depends on the specific moment, but as a general rule, no, I don't. Friendship is less pleasurable for me than sex, and, forced to choose between the two, I'd prefer to have sex. I'm not sure what's wrong with that.
Am I missing something here?
Here's what I mean when I say that I am a relationship anarchist:
I co-create my relationships based on my specific dynamic with each person I am in relationship with. These relationships may or may not involve varying degrees of romantic or sexual intimacy, such as cuddling, holding hands, going for walks together, making out, flirting, having sex, etc. They might just involve talking. I do not limit intimacy to a specific couple form. I do not ride the relationship escalator from dating to living together to marriage to kids etc. I reject all conventional relationship scripts and choose ones that work for me.
Today my (current) nesting partner (soon to be ex-nesting partner) accused me of being patriarchal because I place greater value on sexual relationships than non-sexual ones. I'm not sure what she meant by this, and I can't ask her because she's at work and then will be tired from coming back from work tonight. So I thought I'd try here.
Is it oppressive or inherently wrong to place more value or emphasis on sexual relationships? If so, why?
Yes, I place high value on sex. To me, sex is the best thing in life and I still feel completely vexed by people who are like: "hot sex? no thanks. maybe later, if there's nothing good on facebook." I want to have as much sex as I possibly can before I grow old and die.
I also value friendship.
Do I value friendship as much as sex? I guess it depends on the specific moment, but as a general rule, no, I don't. Friendship is less pleasurable for me than sex, and, forced to choose between the two, I'd prefer to have sex. I'm not sure what's wrong with that.
Am I missing something here?