Silhouette
New member
So it's been quite some time since I have been on here. I had been busy living happily with my two husbands for the last 3.5 years. My legal husband and I have been together 10 years now married 7. My other husband were together 3.5 years. Last month 2 weeks after we found out we're finally pregnant my second husband left me. We had been fighting because of past trust issues, but going to therapy and almost healed from them (or so I thought) when this all happened. He called me controlling and emotionally abusive which yes I have my issues, but even the therapist says I am not asking for anything unreasonable just love and respect. I've always put his needs before my own. Even after this I would do anything in the world for him. I still love him and his happiness was always my goal... When I love someone this is how I am. I just thought it went the other way too.
Anyways, He up and left us after a stupid fight when he bailed on plans with me for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. I begged him to work things out. We got together a week after he left, and we both kissed and said we still loved each other and agreed to try again slowly. Then two days later he won't return my calls or even email back... Now my first husband and I are left here wondering what the future holds. If I am carrying the child of a man who left us high and dry. My husband doesn't mind at all if its not biologically his as he says it's his no matter what. I do know I am lucky to have such a good man by my side still. It bothers me though because in the future he could try to get paternal rights and confuse our child in mid-development. Those questions of if he is my real daddy why did he leave? I never want my child to know that rejection. It may be unavoidable, but I will try to do everything in my power for that never to happen.... Sadly this pregnancy was planned by all of us. We actually all had tried for years for a baby, and as soon as it finally happens so does this... I can barely function or breathe. Even in my dreams I dream my family is whole again, and then I wake up and start all over again.
It's been a month now and still no word of what direction my family is going. I get by the silence it means permanent separation, because obviously if he cared he would at least write. Still there has been absolutely no closure, and he won't even talk about the baby on the way. It's like we (1st husband and I), the baby, and the very life we planned never existed to him. I am going to an attorney to get papers prepared next Monday just in case, but this is never what my husband or I wanted. We loved him and wanted a life with him forever.
My friends are no help as they don't understand that because I still have my first husband they assume I am ok. Even the "friend" my other partner went to live with thinks that breaking up our family is ok because I am not really alone. They don't get that this is just as painful as if it was if I was alone. Even though I have support it doesn't mask the soul crushing blow of loosing him. The pain of him walking away from the future we planned together. I am writing because I have no idea how to get past this. I am in love with a man that I am most likely creating life with, and I don't matter or even exist to him anymore.
How am I supposed to even try to move forward?
Anyways, He up and left us after a stupid fight when he bailed on plans with me for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. I begged him to work things out. We got together a week after he left, and we both kissed and said we still loved each other and agreed to try again slowly. Then two days later he won't return my calls or even email back... Now my first husband and I are left here wondering what the future holds. If I am carrying the child of a man who left us high and dry. My husband doesn't mind at all if its not biologically his as he says it's his no matter what. I do know I am lucky to have such a good man by my side still. It bothers me though because in the future he could try to get paternal rights and confuse our child in mid-development. Those questions of if he is my real daddy why did he leave? I never want my child to know that rejection. It may be unavoidable, but I will try to do everything in my power for that never to happen.... Sadly this pregnancy was planned by all of us. We actually all had tried for years for a baby, and as soon as it finally happens so does this... I can barely function or breathe. Even in my dreams I dream my family is whole again, and then I wake up and start all over again.
It's been a month now and still no word of what direction my family is going. I get by the silence it means permanent separation, because obviously if he cared he would at least write. Still there has been absolutely no closure, and he won't even talk about the baby on the way. It's like we (1st husband and I), the baby, and the very life we planned never existed to him. I am going to an attorney to get papers prepared next Monday just in case, but this is never what my husband or I wanted. We loved him and wanted a life with him forever.
My friends are no help as they don't understand that because I still have my first husband they assume I am ok. Even the "friend" my other partner went to live with thinks that breaking up our family is ok because I am not really alone. They don't get that this is just as painful as if it was if I was alone. Even though I have support it doesn't mask the soul crushing blow of loosing him. The pain of him walking away from the future we planned together. I am writing because I have no idea how to get past this. I am in love with a man that I am most likely creating life with, and I don't matter or even exist to him anymore.
How am I supposed to even try to move forward?
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