Spork
Active member
I have some things I like to find out about people as I am getting to know them. So in this thread, feel free to either:
- Suggest things you say or ask as you're getting to know someone...
- Share opinions on the questions that I, or another poster, might ask...
- Answer any of the questions with your own input...
You get the idea.
One question I love to ask people is this:
"If you could instantly shape your reality with no limitations into your dream life, if everything were to be exactly the way you would like for your own happiness...no boundaries, no barriers, all your wishes come true...what would that look like?"
This tells me a great deal about the person, and my compatibility with them. I actually DO believe that most dreams are at least possible, or that one should live with the hope that one's dreams can be reality if one works hard enough to achieve them. And I dream in accordance with this belief, as nowhere in my dream reality will one find anything conditional upon the cooperation of a given other person. I fundamentally don't believe that one can rely on anyone but themselves, for something as critical as their own basic happiness. Others will come and go...but I have to live with myself.
Some aspects of my future dreaming exercises are fluid and uncertain. I like many kids of dwellings for instance, and while a log cabin of my own design in the mountains, or a condo on the beach, sounds neat...I really am a city girl and I love the industrial loft style apartments in some cities. They are insanely expensive here, though. I also love historical homes, old Victorians, cute artsy little cottage bungalows... So I think I could be happy with one of a variety of housing outcomes.
The important stuff, though...I want a profession where I make, build, create, and network. I want to buy and sell weird art, and I want to make stuff to sell also. I have a deep need to work with my hands and make things, and I don't do enough of that...but at the same time I doubt I could create enough to make a living, and I am hyper-social and love huge networks/communities, and I know tons of weird, creative people. So I want to do something with all of that stuff. I would ideally travel to conventions and trade shows and events and meet, and do business with, people from all over the world. And then write off all of that travel on my taxes. It'd be great.
I'd be able to maintain a good balance in my relationships between committed and casual, and stay more or less poly, though I expect that the individuals that I had relationships with, would come and go over the years. I'd maintain my own home with no one else living in it (whatever kind of home it might be) and have tons of friends.
And in grandiose dream terms, I'd be able to plan, organize, and host the most amazing party events. Whether I had the property to do it, or had to rent a place...it would be part music festival, part cookout and chill around the fire pit, and part Burning Man. I'd get hundreds of people there and serve amazing food, I'd have not only my favorite musical acts but all kinds of circus type performers, fire spinners and jugglers, body painting, burlesque acts. All the fun things. And since money is no issue in this dream, I'd be able to afford to transport in all of my friends who couldn't afford to be there on their own.
- Suggest things you say or ask as you're getting to know someone...
- Share opinions on the questions that I, or another poster, might ask...
- Answer any of the questions with your own input...
You get the idea.
One question I love to ask people is this:
"If you could instantly shape your reality with no limitations into your dream life, if everything were to be exactly the way you would like for your own happiness...no boundaries, no barriers, all your wishes come true...what would that look like?"
This tells me a great deal about the person, and my compatibility with them. I actually DO believe that most dreams are at least possible, or that one should live with the hope that one's dreams can be reality if one works hard enough to achieve them. And I dream in accordance with this belief, as nowhere in my dream reality will one find anything conditional upon the cooperation of a given other person. I fundamentally don't believe that one can rely on anyone but themselves, for something as critical as their own basic happiness. Others will come and go...but I have to live with myself.
Some aspects of my future dreaming exercises are fluid and uncertain. I like many kids of dwellings for instance, and while a log cabin of my own design in the mountains, or a condo on the beach, sounds neat...I really am a city girl and I love the industrial loft style apartments in some cities. They are insanely expensive here, though. I also love historical homes, old Victorians, cute artsy little cottage bungalows... So I think I could be happy with one of a variety of housing outcomes.
The important stuff, though...I want a profession where I make, build, create, and network. I want to buy and sell weird art, and I want to make stuff to sell also. I have a deep need to work with my hands and make things, and I don't do enough of that...but at the same time I doubt I could create enough to make a living, and I am hyper-social and love huge networks/communities, and I know tons of weird, creative people. So I want to do something with all of that stuff. I would ideally travel to conventions and trade shows and events and meet, and do business with, people from all over the world. And then write off all of that travel on my taxes. It'd be great.
I'd be able to maintain a good balance in my relationships between committed and casual, and stay more or less poly, though I expect that the individuals that I had relationships with, would come and go over the years. I'd maintain my own home with no one else living in it (whatever kind of home it might be) and have tons of friends.
And in grandiose dream terms, I'd be able to plan, organize, and host the most amazing party events. Whether I had the property to do it, or had to rent a place...it would be part music festival, part cookout and chill around the fire pit, and part Burning Man. I'd get hundreds of people there and serve amazing food, I'd have not only my favorite musical acts but all kinds of circus type performers, fire spinners and jugglers, body painting, burlesque acts. All the fun things. And since money is no issue in this dream, I'd be able to afford to transport in all of my friends who couldn't afford to be there on their own.