Hi all
I've been in a fairly comfortable poly relationship with my husband for a while now - neither of us are particularly active, but we're both happy with the concept and the state of our relationship, however I am looking for advice on the best way to stop outside relationships affecting the one I have with my husband in a negative way.
Some history on the current situation is here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75506. My 'complicated friendship', the second of its kind, has degenerated somewhat and become more than a little toxic. It affects me a lot, unfortunately he presses all the right (or wrong) buttons and I find that my mood changes depending on him despite my best intentions. I know I have unresolved issues from childhood and I'm working on them, but I find it hard to move on and let him go even though I know that would probably be best.
In the meantime, my husband, who is also my best friend, has to listen to me going on about this guy much more than he would like - he has no respect for my 'friend' and is becoming increasingly hostile towards him. And of course increasingly frustrated with me for not just moving on.
I don't know whether I should just stop talking to my husband about him (although that feels like I would be keeping things from him). I also don't like the way that my mood spills over to my time at home. Does anyone have any advice?
I've been in a fairly comfortable poly relationship with my husband for a while now - neither of us are particularly active, but we're both happy with the concept and the state of our relationship, however I am looking for advice on the best way to stop outside relationships affecting the one I have with my husband in a negative way.
Some history on the current situation is here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75506. My 'complicated friendship', the second of its kind, has degenerated somewhat and become more than a little toxic. It affects me a lot, unfortunately he presses all the right (or wrong) buttons and I find that my mood changes depending on him despite my best intentions. I know I have unresolved issues from childhood and I'm working on them, but I find it hard to move on and let him go even though I know that would probably be best.
In the meantime, my husband, who is also my best friend, has to listen to me going on about this guy much more than he would like - he has no respect for my 'friend' and is becoming increasingly hostile towards him. And of course increasingly frustrated with me for not just moving on.
I don't know whether I should just stop talking to my husband about him (although that feels like I would be keeping things from him). I also don't like the way that my mood spills over to my time at home. Does anyone have any advice?