H'ok So.....

Ha, yeah, the toy holders are like giant knitting needle bags. I've been meaning to make one myself.
 
...But the hilarious point in the night was that we have a chalk board posted right inside their front entrance, and we wrote the "house rules" on it, most of which apply to RCT, but several of which are completely embarrassing.... like "no masturbating on all of the things!" (running joke since he always says that when he's home alone he's just going to lay around the house naked and jerk off) or that "all shall wear matching underwear!" and "all sex toy packaging shall be thrown away in trash cans with lids!" (ok, that one was my fault). Anyway, his crush friend texted him that she'd just arrived and after he ran down the stairs to meet her at the door we heard him yell "god damnit, the rules are still up!" and then followed by "they won't come off!" (wiping the chalk wasn't working and the board apparently was on the wall pretty securely). I thought he had finally gotten it off the wall before opening the door, but apparently he couldn't and just ushered her upstairs to the main living area quickly. :rolleyes: So we all got a pretty great laugh out of that!...

Love. It!

Some of our house rules: "Don't break my toys." "Don't set your friends on fire." "No killing people for money.":eek:
 
Love. It!

Some of our house rules: "Don't break my toys." "Don't set your friends on fire." "No killing people for money.":eek:

No killing people for money?! Seems like you should at least get *some* benefit from it! lol. Or does that mean that in your house only crimes of passion are permitted? :p
 
In my home, it's 'Dont set your friends on fire by accident". On purpose, with consent, is totally fine!

*shakes the can of mousse*
:D

I really need to work on my confidence in this area. My favorite dungeon wants more fire play service tops, and my favorite guy is sort of politically aligned elsewhere and won't come to this venue. I need to practice, probably on myself somehow, until I get really good...and then practice on others until I get even better...and then maybe.

I go to tons of classes, so I've got a head full of what to do and what not to do. Just need the muscle memory and comfort in topping.

Also, I kind of dig the idea of silly house rules and I might steal the idea and start making some.
 
*shakes the can of mousse*
:D

I really need to work on my confidence in this area. My favorite dungeon wants more fire play service tops, and my favorite guy is sort of politically aligned elsewhere and won't come to this venue. I need to practice, probably on myself somehow, until I get really good...and then practice on others until I get even better...and then maybe.

I go to tons of classes, so I've got a head full of what to do and what not to do. Just need the muscle memory and comfort in topping.

Also, I kind of dig the idea of silly house rules and I might steal the idea and start making some.

Since you go to fire classes, is there an experienced fire top that would allow you to practice on them (maybe on the front) so they could observe, or just one person you can find to bottom for you while an experienced fire top stands close by until you've done it enough times that you feel comfortable without a "spotter" of sorts?
 
Since you go to fire classes, is there an experienced fire top that would allow you to practice on them (maybe on the front) so they could observe, or just one person you can find to bottom for you while an experienced fire top stands close by until you've done it enough times that you feel comfortable without a "spotter" of sorts?

Oh probably, it's just a matter of making the time to get together and do it, often enough to get the rote motions down. That's the tricky bit. If you're nervous, you're either too jumpy or not mindful and smooth in your movements. If you're doing fire cupping, and you're a novice, you don't have the speed and motion down and can't get the cup on fast enough (that's me.) If you're doing something like fleshing (with the alcohol and wands) you need to be quick but not "OMG YOU'RE ON FIRE" jumpy quick. Fast but smooth. Only practice gets ya there. I'm thinking if I set up a good safe zone to work, I can practice on my thighs, just to work on the motions. Optimally I should do this every day or almost every day.
 
I didn't realize that it's been like a week since I made a real post about life stuff! Last week was a busy one. It's the end of the fiscal year at the end of the month so I've had work deadline stuff and wrapped up one project on Friday. After work though, the 4 of us (Sudo, Peach, RCT, me) met up and did a fancy Italian dinner for RCT's birthday and then we all went to see Amy Schumer perform in town. The show was so funny my face hurt from laughing by the end of the night! I love her comedy.

Sat I then ran off to a tea thing with my local sorority alumni group and hit up a fabric shop to get the supplies to make a roll-up case for canes and other BDSM gear. So excited!! Sudo brought up the dogs and met me and then we rode up to my mom's for a birthday cook-out for my brother (it was earlier this month but kept getting postponed). Good times were had with my family and one of my brother's friends that actually lives in my city now, and I even put in touch with Sudo about possibly getting a job at his company! We're going to have dinner with her, my brother, and my sis-in-law later this week on Thurs to catch up even more, and then maybe those 2 can talk shop a tad as well about job stuff.

On Sunday, Sudo and I went to a heavy impact class that was interesting. It was for much heavier impact than I had originally thought. Not so much canes and crops and more like heavy duty paddles, weighted gloves, batons, etc. BUT, since you can still control how hard you hit with that stuff, I still found it useful in the sense of getting a better education of thuddy implements vs stingy.

All throughout this past week though I've been having ups and downs with Sudo in the whole "emotional labor" category. I feel like maybe we've made a little progress? But he's just been extra stressed, which translates to preoccupied and sad and moody. At one point it culminated in me finally just breaking down and getting upset and crying Sunday morning over a whole bunch of things. Frustration that he seems to get sad/mopey if we have a day or 2 in a row that we're together but don't have sex, but at the same time makes very little effort to initiate sex. Frustration that when I first started crying and was upset he wouldn't even actually ask what was wrong, but just defaulted to saying sorry (how can you really be sorry if you don't know for sure what you did!?!). But mostly, frustration that no matter what I do or offer, he's still just been emotional and sad and can't seem to make any progress on some of his issues specific to us (not talking about work stress, etc). While I get that it's not on me to fix him or his issues, it still can just be painful to feel like you're giving it your all and the other person isn't happy. And sure, I know that overall, he's VERY happy with me, and this is just some shit he's dealing with.... but this was just a moment where all of this shit was hitting me all at once and I just couldn't take it and needed a good cry. So I told him all that stuff, and we talked over some other things. We've since talked more and I feel like it helped. He knows he needs to work on the initiating stuff, and he's going to try to open up to me more about his other emotional stuff rather than just stewing on it, which has been getting us nowhere. He may not want to "burden" me with his struggles, but I'd rather he just spit it out and communicate with me about all his feels than sit there all bummed out when we're together. After a while I tend to just shrug and say to myself "you can mope all you want but I'm going to continue doing X, that we were doing as if you weren't moping since you won't talk to me about it anyway." Which probably comes off as cold, but there really isn't much else I *can* do without communication on the issue when I've said a million times "I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. Let me know if you want to talk." etc. etc.

Icing on the cake... while I was having date night with Mr. Hyde last night, Sudo was getting a drink with the Ex. Yeah, the same Ex that ignored him at the dinner party a few posts ago. He told me over the weekend that she finally responded to his email and they agreed that they really did need to have a conversation in the hopes of getting to a point where they could be cordial in those types of situations. Everyone had low expectations, but it seems to have gone well. I dunno if you can call it closure, but I think the conversation will allow her to get over whatever resentment she's been holding onto all the time, so I think the cordial-ness can now begin. Look at all the adulting going on!
 
What was supposed to be a really nice, chill long weekend at my place with Sudo (he stayed Thurs-Sun evening and we both had Fri off work), was actually quite stressful and emotional. This is probably going to sound all angry and ranty, but it's been talked through pretty well, and my writing style tends to reflect the way I thought in the moment. Others on these blogs do the whole "thoughtful introspection" thing way better than I do. I tend to just spew words!

Anyway.... Thurs was actually a great night since we did dinner with a friend of mine and then hung out at her place with her adorable dog (though she did play really rough and chomped on my hand when we were wrestling and I STILL have a really bad bruise!), but Fri he mentioned that he'd been talking to the Ex and they wanted to try and get together for lunch or dinner or something over the weekend. They ended up doing dinner on Fri night to get it out of the way so that he and I could have the rest of the weekend to ourselves, but for me, that was very much just the beginning of an emotional spiral. Since they first emailed and decided to have a conversation to try and get past the awkward ignoring of each other, it's just been constant messaging and making plans. Not at all what I had imagined when I first thought this was a good idea. In my mind, I was thinking.... ok, a quick conversation so that they can both just agree to let the past be the past, move on, and be cordial, or at least fake it if they happen to run into each other in public. Simple right? Not, ok, let's actually try to be friends and talk and hang out all the time.

That probably sounds like I'm being a jealous, emo, bitch, but for me, it's not that he's talking to someone else, it's that he's choosing to re-involve himself (supposedly as friends, but it's clear there are still feelings on both sides) with someone else who has already caused so much drama in our polycule. But also, we've been having ongoing issues with him constantly being depressed about Mr. Hyde and he either can't or won't communicate with me about his feelings. So I find it really hurtful that he's all about having these talks with the Ex and settling their emotional drama from the past and "fixing things" but yet he can't seem to express his emotional turmoil with me? So after Fri night, they were continuing to message Sat and he and I ended up having a long, emotional conversation about all sorts of stuff. The possibility of therapy, for him to work on coping with stress and improving communication came up, because I think he needs it but he's always been pretty against therapy. Anyway, it was full of tears and stuff, but it felt good to get it all out and have a conversation about it. And I finally felt like I was getting real information out of him about the Mr. Hyde situation in a level of detail that got to the heart of the issue vs just some vague statements.

So it seemed like things were then looking up. We lounged on Sunday, had good sexy times.... and then it was about time for him to head home and lo and behold, the Ex had been in touch and was in the city in a part of town he'd have to go through on his way home, so she'd asked if he wanted to meet up. He wanted to get home to have dinner with Peach, so I got the impression they weren't meeting, but it took him sooo long to get home, that I was kind of wondering if they did end up meeting up, which he eventually did say that in addition to just crappy train times on the weekend, he'd talked to the Ex for a while at one of the stops.

As innocent as that sounds, I just.... I dunno, I saw red. First of all, it felt like he was trying to avoid telling me (I think not because he wanted it to be a secret, but I'm guessing subconsciously he knew I wouldn't have reacted well). As much as I have reiterated that he can talk to and date whoever he wants, and I continue to say that, I just can't understand why anyone would even want to be friends with someone who treated them so poorly when they broke up, but then also continued to act childish YEARS later, to both him and his partner. Hell, he can go date a jobless mooch who is rude and obnoxious... and that's his choice, but I'm definitely going to think it's a really stupid choice and say so. For me, a HUGE part of this is also that the Ex and Peach HATE each other. That is really the primary reason that the Ex ended it (she demanded more inclusion but Peach wanted nothing to do with her and the Ex thought Sudo "shouldn't put up with her"), and it caused a huge amount of strain on Sudo and Peach's relationship. And sure, they're separating, but that's legalities. They still consider each other partners, even if that is in a non-sexual way, and she will still be a big part of his life (and my life as friends). So why the fuck would he want to re-start anything with the Ex when that is just a disaster waiting to happen with Peach? It just felt so disrespectful and inconsiderate to me! And sure, his relationship with Peach is his relationship, but Peach is my friend, and I consider us all to be family. Bringing the Ex's drama back into the fold to me, just felt like zero foresight. He could make ANY other friend or date ANY other person in the area and none of us would give a shit, and yet he felt the need to actively try to reconnect with one of the few people that would generate a strong reaction?

At the same time, expressing all of this makes me feel HORRIBLE because Sudo ends up feeling so bad about how negatively I react that he basically said he would find a way to back things off. ARGH! My point was not to give an ultimatum! I hate ultimatums! I would be soooo angry if he put me in that situation with Mr. Hyde! I said as much and he at least clarified that he wasn't interpreting all of this as an ultimatum at least. What I wanted was for him to actually SEE what he was doing and that his actions don't line up with the words of what he says he wants. He kept saying that he was being cautious and said he didn't want to date her and just wanted to be friendly again, and then said that even that needed to be taken slow. Umm, what? Since when does talking throughout the day every day and getting together 3 times in about a week equate to taking things slow? How does openly admitting still having feelings and saying "we're not trying to date, but things might change in the future" equate to taking things slow and not looking to date? To me, that's more like lying to yourself about what you're doing and getting caught up in old feelings and completely forgetting the shit storm of drama and hurt that he and Peach went through during and after that break-up. Plus there's that whole, why would you want to be friends with someone who treated you poorly thing. And for me, I have SUCH a hard time watching someone I love make horrible decisions when they are smart enough to know that what they're doing has a much better chance of blowing up than going well. That's the thing that probably makes me so angry/frustrated in this. My mind is just screaming "HOW DO YOU NOT EVEN SEE THIS?!" I'm sure my reaction in general was pretty overblown, but it's hard to not get worked up when you see someone keep going back and repeatedly making what you think is a bad decision.

Ultimately, we messaged about it a ton last night after he was home, and me saying that at the end of the day, it's his decision and he can talk to and see whoever he likes, but that I'd like him to really take into consideration what he thinks "taking things slow" means and actually do what he says (or say what he's doing I guess, I don't care, but having your actions and words actually match is a big deal to me). I'm a big girl, and ultimately if he wants to reconnect with the Ex and hang out more, that's his decision and it's for me to deal with. At the moment I'm just having a whole lot of trouble respecting it.

Of course, I can't help but see a little of my own hypocrisy in all of this since I've been so frustrated by Sudo's reaction to me dating Mr. Hyde. So the whole time I'm feeling furious about the situation with the Ex, I'm also feeling shitty about basically doing something similar! The only excuse that I can really make for myself is that the difference between our positions is that Sudo doesn't have any issue with Mr. Hyde specifically. His issue is more that he's frustrated that he's wanted a strong D/s dynamic with a partner for a long time but hasn't been able to find it (I wouldn't say ours is strong, it's still a work in progress) and yet the moment I decide to venture out looking I find someone great. But also that he's consistently been by himself on nights when I have those dates stuck in his own thoughts because he hasn't been able to get anyone to make plans with him. Either Peach is out, the other people he's talking to are busy, RCT is on travel, etc. so he feels like he can't even find a good way to distract himself from stressing. That sucks, and it's part of what we talked about on Sat. But that's very different than if he were to tell me that he has a very specific concern about Mr. Hyde. If he did, I'd want to talk it out and see if it was something we could work through, or if his concerns actually caused me to re-think if Mr. Hyde was the best choice for me. I certainly don't believe in Veto power, but I definitely care about and value my partner's opinion and would want to listen and think about that. So in one sense, I'm sorta doing the same thing of reacting really poorly to someone in his life, but at the same time, I feel like they're very different circumstances. Still a shitty feeling though.
 
On a less emo note, I've been thinking about getting some piercings for a while now, and I think I'm now going to tie that to a goal to lose a few pounds. I have a 5 pound maintenance mode range and I've been hovering at about 3 pounds ABOVE my max range for a few weeks. That sounds like not a big deal, but I think I can actually feel it in my jeans and stuff. It seems crazy to me that a difference of a measly 8 pounds can make a noticeable difference, but it can! Lifetime of obesity me isn't used to that! Anyway, this isn't meant to be a complain about my weight post, since while I want to lose a few I'm still damn happy with my body. It's more that I realized maybe I need to give myself something as motivation to get back to being a tad more careful about what I put in my mouth.... food, that is ;)

I really want to get all the lady parts pierced and probably a belly button ring to boot. I'm nervous about nipple piercings. I've talked to some people who said that the healing wasn't a big deal and others who said it took like a year for them to stop being uncomfortably sensitive. But I figure, worst case, I hate it and can't deal and just get rid of them. On the contrary, apparently piercings down south are no big deal and heal stupid fast. Who'd have thunk?


In other side news, the first of what will hopefully by a monthly D/s discussion group is tonight right outside of my city, so I'm excited to check it out with Sudo. And then tomorrow I'm going to a Parkway Drive concert, my favorite band in the world! Sooooo pumped! I actually forgot that it was tomorrow until I got an email today, so it was like a surprise all over again!
 
I swear I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders! My mom has been saying that to me since I was little, and it's SO TRUE!

H'ok.... So Tues night was the Parkway Drive concert. I was going their straight from work, so I planned all my shit out and took clothes/sneakers to change into at work, did that, and decided to leave my purse at work and only take the bare minimum that would fit in my pockets. So I grabbed my ID, work ID, credit card, concert ticket, phone and hopped on the metro to go to the show. I'm almost all the way there when I realize that I didn't take my keys out of my purse, so I have no way to get into my apt! SHIT!

The concert wasn't going to be over until at least 11PM. I could metro back to work and get keys and go home, but it would be crazy late. So instead, I messaged Sudo and asked if he could pick me up and I could crash with him, and then I'd just go straight to work in the morning. I also messaged a good friend that I work with to borrow a shirt to wear and then would just wear my black slacks from the day before again. Sounds like I made it work, right?

So then the concert happened, it was AMAZING! I've seen Parkway Drive like 5 times, but I just love a good metal concert. I was up on the barrier all night just getting crushed by the crowd but loving it all the same.

Ok, so concert gets out, Sudo shows up and picks me up.... we get home to his place and as I'm emptying my pockets to throw all my sweaty clothes in the wash, I realize that some of my cards fell out of my pocket. My metro card, debit card, and my work ID. I need the work ID to even get on the base, and it also fits in a slot of my laptop as a log-on key, so I basically can't work without it. I call the venue, they're closed by now and don't open until noon the next day. SHIT!

So I basically was off work yesterday while I delt with that hot mess. I ended up just riding into the city with Sudo and Peach on their way to work and then could metro home from there (they had a spare metro card that I loaded money onto) to wait and call the venue. Luckily, when I called, they had my debit and ID card, just not the metro card. But I had that registered, so I logged in, reported it lost, and immediately transferred the balance to one of my own spare cards. All I had to do then was metro out to the venue, pick up my stuff, and go back home. Sheesh!

The other thing I'm super sad about is that I realized today my ticket stub also fell out of my pocket. I have the ticket stub to every concert I've ever been to, and now I don't have this one. I'm going to call them and see if there's any way to get sent a new one, even if it's electronic. It's not like it can hurt them in any way since the show is already over. With any luck, they'll understand and can accommodate. I wish I'd realized it when I was already there at the box office picking up my other crap!

In the meantime, my body is sore! My arms are sore from bracing myself against the barrier and all the people shoving. My back is sore from all the shoving and squishing, plus I got elbowed in the kidney at some point. My ribs are very so slightly sore from being squished against the barrier, and my neck is sore from all that head banging. Again, SO worth it!

At least last night was low key. Sudo was at my place so we just cooked and watched some shows with some sexy times throughout. Tonight is just book club after work and then I'm going to go home and go to bed early!
 
I saw Static X in concert YEARS ago, and I was in the front row center, right up against the fence. The next day, the entire front of my body, from neck to knees, was a fierce mix of purple, blue, black and yellow. It took weeks for the bruises to fade. Totally worth it!
 
I saw Static X in concert YEARS ago, and I was in the front row center, right up against the fence. The next day, the entire front of my body, from neck to knees, was a fierce mix of purple, blue, black and yellow. It took weeks for the bruises to fade. Totally worth it!

Don't get me started.

So much GWAR. 35 times, most of them front row getting crushed and hosed in the face. Gimme more!

But I must say that while being a FAN is like, well...not for everybody. An acquired taste. Or an acquired lack of taste? Whatever. Still, anyone who can tolerate such activities SHOULD experience one of their shows in their lifetime. It's amazing live.

And I SO feel you on after show bruising and aches and pains and stuff...
 
Don't get me started.

So much GWAR. 35 times, most of them front row getting crushed and hosed in the face. Gimme more!

But I must say that while being a FAN is like, well...not for everybody. An acquired taste. Or an acquired lack of taste? Whatever. Still, anyone who can tolerate such activities SHOULD experience one of their shows in their lifetime. It's amazing live.

And I SO feel you on after show bruising and aches and pains and stuff...

I went to GWAR in 2015. Afterwards, as we walked into my friend's condo lobby, we looked like survivors of an '80s horror film. :p And, yeah, the next day I was totally covered in bruises. I'd been bouncing around in the pit all night wearing hard plastic bracelets, so my arms were destroyed.
 
Fortunately for me the places that get hit the most when I'm at a concert don't really get bruised easily. So my back and chest (from the barrier) were fine. And since I was in the first row, I didn't actually have a ton of impact on my arms! Mainly just had muscle soreness from bracing myself from being pushed over. Quite a workout! I LOVE that energy for concerts though. I haven't actually seen GWAR before though and should check out their music to see if I'm into it.
 
Fortunately for me the places that get hit the most when I'm at a concert don't really get bruised easily. So my back and chest (from the barrier) were fine. And since I was in the first row, I didn't actually have a ton of impact on my arms! Mainly just had muscle soreness from bracing myself from being pushed over. Quite a workout! I LOVE that energy for concerts though. I haven't actually seen GWAR before though and should check out their music to see if I'm into it.

Their music can be a bit of an acquired taste. It's been alll over the map over the course of 30 years. Very basic song they finish every concert to, is "Sick of You" and that might have been the one I first got stuck in my head. "Saddam a Go-Go" is a concert favorite because of the energy (I love being front row for that.) More punk-ish in flavor we have things like "In Her Fear" or "If I Could Be That" or "Mary Anne." And for pure metal aggro of the thrashy variety, I like "Maggots" or "Bloodbath." Ballad? "The Road Behind." Cover? "Carry On My Wayward Son." (yes, Kansas, not even joking.)

And they have a side project called DBX (Dave Brockie Experience) that I like almost as much as I like GWAR. Sometimes more. A lot of GWAR fans aren't even familiar with DBX, but everybody should be. They decided to keep GWAR heavy and stop being as silly a while back, and DBX was formed to do the silly stuff. "I Wanna Be a Squirrel" is a good place to start there.

The concert experience varies based on location. In Portland Oregon at the Roseland Theater they have the most difficult pit I've ever tried to do. Gave up in fact, after a few times seeing them there. There's a phenomenon called "the crush" where after the openers usually, and right around the beginning of GWAR's set, every one of the hundreds of people in the crowd suddenly wants to be front row, and they all try to make that happen at once. Makes it very hard to breathe up there. In Portland, the crush is intense, the crowd is about a thousand people, and it starts before the openers and never lets up. That is hours of not breathing and being squished, with continuous crowd surfers going overhead. It's a beating. Other places are less intense, smaller clubs especially. I have been front row a few times at GWARBQ, but don't really like seeing them at festivals. It's just not the same outside during the day.

If you ever get to go, wear a white shirt (it's a free souvenir) and bring plastic baggies to put your pocket stuff in. And before and after the show, the guys are out by the buses and will happy chat and do autographs. They are a bunch of sweethearts for the most part. Also, bring warm stuff and leave it in the car. Their shows are usually in the fall when it's often pretty chilly and you come out of the venue soaked to the skin.

... I'll stop... This is what happens when I get started talking about GWAR... lol >.<
 
Thanks Spork! I'll take a look at that stuff!

Life just continues as usual here. Took off last week on Friday so that my mom and grandpa could come down for a day trip. We rode around one of those double decker buses doing a city tour, hopped off and went to a wax museum, and then hopped back on to see more sights and also go to Arlington National Cemetery. I actually have never been before and it's beautiful but also tragic to just see all those headstones for all of those fallen soldiers. My grandpa did well, but we couldn't really do a ton of walking around since he is still having a few health issues. He's healed up fairly well from having a hip replacement, but we think he needs a heart valve replaced because in the past few months he runs out of breath so easily (he already had some heard stuff done that would make us suspect this). I actually need to call him and see how his scan went on Monday to see if he has a verdict on that yet.

The rest of the weekend I was with Sudo, with the exception of Saturday morning when I attended a poly ladies brunch. Sudo's ex was there, but she actually was cordial to me this time, and yet, thankfully, wasn't suddenly trying to be all BFF now that her and Sudo are talking again, so it actually worked out well. There were also a few other ladies there that I already knew and was friends with, as well as a few poly ladies from a huge Facebook group that I hadn't actually met yet in person, so it was just good times!

Monday then was a holiday.... well, for me. Columbus day! Yay for gov't work! Sudo still had work, and Monday is not a teaching day for Mr. Hyde, so instead of our usual evening date night, we actually did an afternoon date. That was nice since we could take a break between some sexy times and just walk around the neighborhood and grab a snack at a local restaurant. The weather was pretty nice out, so we wanted to try and enjoy it a bit. Makes me wish there was actually a park in my neighborhood. It's going to start getting cold here though, so soon I won't want to be outside much at all!

Speaking of getting cold, after it being so nice out Monday during the day, it got crazy cold that night! I was soooo glad that on Friday morning before my mom and grandpa came that I took the time to install a heat mat in Leonidas' (the snake) cage while I was also cleaning it out. He's a much happier camper now that there's a wider temperature gradient from one end of his cage to the other. It's only going to get colder though, and his cage sits against a wall that is an exterior wall with windows, so it gets mad cold in the winter. I need to hit up a store and get a sheet of foam or some other sort of insulation material so that I can cut it to size and put it against the glass on the back and sides of his cage. That will definitely help to keep in the heat. I'll just have to keep an eye on the temp gauges as well and see if I need to mess with any sort of night heating lamp as well. Hopefully not since Sudo is ridiculously sensitive to light when sleeping. I need to figure out how to clean things up so that I can minimize the damn tangle of cords too! 2 cords for thermostat sensors on each end of the cage, 1 cord for the heat mat/rheostat, 1 cord for the daylight lamp. Ugh!

OMG, I almost forgot the highlight of my weekend!! I got a ROBOT VACUUM!! I have wanted one for ages but they're so damn expensive! Well Sudo sent me a link for the one that is made by Anker and it's only $200 now. It also had great reviews on amazon so I snatched that shit up! We used his prime account and had it delivered to his place on Sat and we set it up and played with it. Sudo loves it and making it run puts a smile on his face. He kept turning it on. He's such a gadget geek. I named it Vakum (after what the older cat calls the vacuum in the Dear Kitten videos). Still working out the kinks in terms of figuring out where I need to tuck cables out of the way, and things like that.... but otherwise, I'm happy! Yay for minimizing cat hair.
 
I haven't posted in over a week, but at least it hasn't been a crazy one!

This past weekend I went "camping" with my family. I used quotes because we were in these cabin type structures that were just a basic plywood type building with wooden cots and mattresses and electricity. Given that it was in the 40s and 50s at night, it was great since we could run a space heater. The day time temps were very nice though so we went hiking and had camp fires and went to a festival in the nearby small town. The festival had a huge parade and vendors and such. Even a free wine tasting, where I bought about 7 bottles of wine! Might have gone a tad overboard :p

Anyway, the trip was nice, though at the same time, I sometimes found myself wishing I'd not agreed to go and just enjoyed a weekend at home by myself for once. BUT, I'm basically getting that now during the week since Sudo has been gone since last Thurs. Other than going to another wine tasting with a friend last night, I've had no plans the rest of this week so I've been able to chill at home and read and go to bed early. AMAZING!

I'm definitely looking forward to Sudo being back this Sat night though and finally seeing him. I hate it when he's gone this long. This trip is worse than some others since he's on the west coast so the time difference just makes it even harder to try and chat or have a phone call because by the time he's finally done with conference crap for the day it's dinner time, and by the time dinner is over I'm going to bed. :(

What I really need to do is spend some time tonight actually doing some chores. I've done some laundry but have more to do. I need to organize and pin up a few cables around the apartment that go to things like floor lamps and the snake cage etc so that I can getter run Vakum without the little robot getting hung up on things. I also need to cut to size the giant board of insulation that I bought at the hardware store and affix it to 3 sides of the snake cage glass to add a little insulation, and just clean out the snake cage in general. Plus, there are dishes to be done, kitty litter to clean..... and the list goes on! Wow have I been slacking this week!

I also need to get started on some Christmas shopping. I hate waiting until the last minute and like to try and get it done early so that I'm not dealing with the mad rushes. Then again, these days I do a good bit of my shopping online. Plus, most of my family/partners are at that point in their lives where they just don't need anything and aren't looking to acquire more "stuff" so it's not easy to shop for them. And I have a history of being a really good gift giver and always finding things that people love, so I've got standards to live up to!

I can't really talk about Sudo's gifts on here ahead of time because he occasionally reads my blog, but anyone else is fair game! I actually need to have a conversation with Mr. Hyde and ask what we're going to do about that. I dunno if he does gifts or not. I prefer to coordinate and see what the other person wants to do because I know how shitty it feels when someone gets you a gift and you didn't get them one. So if I think that person isn't going to do gifts and I still want to do something for them I at least keep it simple like baked goods so that they don't feel like they "owe" me a gift in return.

Fortunately I don't have too many gifts to buy. I don't exchange gifts with most friends anymore and instead we opt to just get together and do something fun. So really it's mostly family, and then I'll also probably get something for Peach. As of right now though.... Sudo is the only one I have any idea of what to get! Ok, well actually, my entire family is going to go in together on either a hydroponic type garden tower set-up for my grandfather. He's too old to mess with his large garden, and now with Grandma gone he just needs something to occupy his time. We figured something that he could have in his basement with grow lights would mean he could garden year round, but with ease. He would love it! Personally, I'd love to see the family get him an adult, pre-trained, gentle dog. He loves my mom's dog. It would give him some companionship around the house, but that would also require work, what with animals shedding, and pooping in the yard and such. Though he has a very nice sized yard and could easily get invisible fencing, so the dog wouldn't require long walks.
 
Yet another time where I've let a whole week pass between entries so I have a lot of ground to cover!! I'll start with this past weekend.\

Sat I attended a costume birthday party for my friend's 1 year old son. It was really cute and so many people actually dressed up! I went for a Gatsby style flapper thing since I needed to keep it kid-friendly. lol. After that, I had time until I wanted to be home at Sudo's (he was returning Sat night from his work trip) so I visited with a friend/ex from high school that I've stayed close with since then and his sister.

But then I finally got to Sudo's and got to snuggle with him and just be in his arms after he was away for like 10 days. Yay! The 3 of us (since Peach returned from the same trip) hung out the next day and just ran errands and the like. I finally went home Sunday evening so that I could spend some time making sure my apt wasn't a mess, watched the Walking Dead season premier (holy crap! All I'll say in case other people watch but haven't actually seen the episode), and then went to bed.

Monday was date night with Mr. Hyde. The sex was as fantastic as always, but we also had a convo about privacy things to make sure we're on the same page. He and his wife have access to each other's phones and email and such, and I've known that from the start, but kinda had the impression that it wasn't something they actually checked on often since it's not really a matter of trust for them. He had recently made a comment that made me wonder if I was just making assumptions and now wasn't actually sure how much she was reading/seeing, so I just wanted to clarify. I know that having people read messages would be a deal breaker for many, and if I wasn't told in advance I'd be pissed, but I was, and as far as I'm concerned I have nothing to hide, so I don't really care that much. But it kind made me think... well, does that mean she's seeing naked pics if I send those or he takes any? What if I ever wanted to share something really personal/private about myself with him that I *didn't* want her to see if she happened to scroll through a message? So he clarified that actually she rarely ever looks at anything and she purposefully avoids seeing pics. I think that in a sense the occasionally seeing a few messages is more of a "hey, what's the status/tone of things with other partners." Which technically they can just ask each other? But whatever, like I said, nothing to hide here. I think he does more looking in on things than she does, but they also have the whole D/s thing going and maybe it plays a part in that control/power exchange dynamic for them. Meh, if it works for them! lol. Anyway, it was at least nice to know that we're on the same page now and I'm not going to be surprised down the road because I made some assumption that wasn't true.

We also talked a bit about gifts and if that was an issue for them. He still has to talk to his wife about that. I made him some protein/granola/nut bar type things as a birthday gift, which he really appreciated.... but they were kept in the freezer, so it's not exactly an "in your face" gift. From what I can tell, while they're comfortable with the fact that they're dating and playing with other people, at least for the wife, she's maybe hesitant to have that sorta thing just in her face all the time (hence, she doesn't actually WANT to stumble on pics of me). So I wanted to at least be respectful and ask... what if I had baked him something that was more the thing you stick in the fridge and share with the whole family? Would she find that weird? What if it was like a piece of jewelry (he has earrings and rings) or some other little trinket that someone would keep in their house? Is that going to bother her? While I would like for that stuff to be ok, I KNOW that I'm very clearly a secondary here, and I'm cool with that. So to me, it's important to respect their dynamic. I want things to go well all around so that this thing can keep going for a long time, so the last thing I want to do is squick her out over something that isn't a *need* for me and is just a "well that would be nice to be able to do." Plus, Mr. Hyde has thanked me and clearly shown his appreciation for me being sensitive about all of this stuff. He doesn't just take for granted that it's expected and I can suck it up and like it. Instead, he's pleasantly surprised and grateful when I'm the one who thinks of these things and takes the time to ask. And of course, it pleases me to please him!

After Monday though, I've spent the rest of the week with Sudo, which has just been so nice! Peach went down to Joe's after work on Tues and is there until Sunday (they're having painters and contractors in this week to prep for moving people and rooms around so that she can move in and have an office room to work from as well). I was able to work from "home" yesterday, which meant that I could go to Sudo's Tues night after work, then we both worked from his place yesterday and then had the night together, and I just drove back into the city today for work. Sudo and I are both off tomorrow, so I'll go home to give the kitties some love and do a few chores but then head back to Sudo's tonight for a long weekend! I forsee lots of snuggles and sexy times in my future ;)

I do think that we're going to go to the monthly poly happy hour Fri night, and we might try and find an even to go to over the weekend at one of the various BDSM spaces. We shall see. I did order a bunch of new lingerie and a strap-on, both of which I think are arriving today. Sudo will be pleasantly surprised!

Oh, and I started talking to a new person on OKC, and since then we've been texting a lot for the past few days! I told Sudo about it last night and it was a 10 second convo and didn't seem like a big deal (I was just worried given how stressed out he's been lately). So now we're going to try and grab drinks on Monday. The new guy is also poly and lives with his g/f of 2 years. But he's also bi... hello MFM threesome fantasy on that bucket list!! lol. Anyway, he seems to have a good sense of humor and we're getting along very well, but he's also in no rush, so he seems willing to respect whatever pace I want to take things at and also has made it clear that he doesn't take any flirting or even discussions about sexual preferences and seeing if we're looking for the same things to mean anything or be some sort of guarantee that we'll get together or date or hook up. So nice to finally hear the guy be willing to say that and be cool with it and me not have to speak up about it!
 
This weekend I did NOTHING and it was fantastic!

I spent the whole weekend at Sudo's since Peach was out of town and someone has to be home for the dogs. I went up later Thurs night and was there till Sun night. We watched a crap ton of Battlestar Galatica and are at the end of season 4 and soon will be starting season 4.5 (don't ask me about the weird numbering, I don't get it). The only thing we did besides lounge around and watch TV half naked was have yummy sexy times. I ordered my first ever strap-on and surprised Sudo with it. Well, surprise in that we'd been talking about it and knew we wanted to get one, so it wasn't like "Ha ha! We never talked about this before but now we're going to do anal!" Yikes! But it was more like "Surprise, I know you wanted to try this and I went out and bought the stuff!" So we tried it twice over the weekend and he's sold :p I need to get a little vibe or something to use with it though just to add a little perk for me. And eventually it would be cool to upgrade to one of those ones that actually is "double ended" so to speak that goes into me. Plus those usually have a vibe in them as well. So yay to being sexually adventurous!

Oh, the one thing that I did actually do over the weekend was go shopping. I buy cheap shoes, like payless/DSW sale type shoes because they just wear out or I don't wear them a ton, etc. Well I wanted some simple, all black sneakers that weren't bulk so that I can wear them on my work commute and even leave them on the office occasionally if my feet are cold and I don't want to wear dress shoes. And I also got these amazing thigh high boots that are just glorious! I have one pair but they are stripper tall/spikey and not actually functional for just wearing around and walking much of anywhere. These are actually more realistic for wearing as part of a normal, stylish outfit.... but still sexy! Plus, I also went to Victoria's secret for a bra since I didn't have a nude colored one. While there, of course I got caught up in trying on lingerie and ended up buying a set, and then also bought a workout set since they were running a really great sale. I'm such a sucker for that store. I wish they weren't so damned expensive! I just can't find my bra size in most cheaper stores, sadly. And I hate buying online because depending on the material used to make it, I might be 1 of 2 sizes. Even there though, they don't carry my size in every style they make! I at least have their credit card so that helps me earn points and get other deals and such.

Anyway, lazy weekend, sexy clothes and shoes, and sex. I need this in my life more often!

So now tonight I'm getting drinks with the new okc guy that I've been talking to for about a week-ish. If the date goes well, which I suspect it will, then I guess I'll have to give him a nickname.
 
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