Poll: "I am non-white"

Are you white?


  • Total voters
    47
Yes, inclusiveness helps. But I cannot tell you how EXHAUSTING it is to have to CONSTANTLY be explaining this stuff, and usually it falls on deaf ears. Just look at this thread. Sometimes you just want to be amongst people who TRULY get it, to vent frustrations, to have support, etc. The same is true of women, or LGBTQ people, or religious minorities - whatever outgroup (s) a person may belong to. We need that safe space. I know this board is supposedly inclusive, but just look at this thread of exhibit A to see how oppressive it can be to minorities.

Then again, this thread also cemented my decision to take a break from dating white women. I don't need that power dynamic in intimate partner situations, especially since I have it everywhere else.


You wouldn't have to constantly explain if you just listened to people once in awhile. Nobody here denied white privilege exists. It's just not as simple as you think it is. Yeah, I'm white, but I have absolutely no power in this nationwide system. And two counties with millions of people is not just local. Does our experiences apply to somewhere like Ohio? No, but it is proof that change can happen.

And you are definitely not going to get anywhere calling people racists who are not racist.
 
To be clear - there is no legal, system wide racism against white people in this nation, period. To claim that minorities have the legal and social power to oppress white people in the way you have and continued to oppress us is, in and of itself, racist.

You didn't look very hard, Emm.
 
I did a word search, and read that post while doing so. It doesn't call anyone racist. It describes a racist behaviour.
 
I did a word search, and read that post while doing so. It doesn't call anyone racist. It describes a racist behaviour.

LOL... it's okay. We don't have to agree. I wasn't asking for a mod to step in or anything like that.
 
I didn't think you were. I was just curious to see if someone had actually been calling names or if you were taking offence to thin air.

Edit: The quote I replied to reeks of tone policing. If you're going to be an ally you shouldn't need to be coddled lest you pick up your toys and go home.
 
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You wouldn't have to constantly explain if you just listened to people once in awhile. Nobody here denied white privilege exists. It's just not as simple as you think it is. Yeah, I'm white, but I have absolutely no power in this nationwide system. And two counties with millions of people is not just local. Does our experiences apply to somewhere like Ohio? No, but it is proof that change can happen.

And you are definitely not going to get anywhere calling people racists who are not racist.

I get the sense that PurpleSun is having to constantly explain because she's not being listened to. You may not have any power in this nationwide system but that doesn't mean that you don't benefit from the fact that you're white in a society that was built by and for white people. There are all sorts of barriers that people of colour experience that you don't experience because you're white. That doesn't mean you don't have any barriers or even that your life is automatically easier than a black person's life. But race will never figure as prominently in your life as it does for someone who isn't white. And it's constant. Exhaustingly constant.

Seriously, we wouldn't have a fraction of the things we have and enjoy in our society if we hadn't enslaved others and pillaged their resources to build our own society with (and we still do this). White supremacy is written into the very DNA of our society and continues to assert itself today. And I'm not talking white hooded brands of white supremacy- I'm talking about systems our society is built on that automatically center white people over people of colour. I'm talking about an economy that is designed to benefit white people over people of colour. I'm talking about a society that automatically sees white culture markers as more intelligent, more educated and generally superior to black culture markers. I'm talking about being able to see people who look the same as me in most positions of power in our society. White is default in our education systems, in our justice systems and in our arts. I could go on and on.

This is the same throughout the US and throughout most other predominantly white western countries.

It really *is* as simple as we think it is. Dismantling it may not be so simple, but its existence is pretty cut and dried.
 
I didn't think you were. I was just curious to see if someone had actually been calling names or if you were taking offence to thin air.

Edit: The quote I replied to reeks of tone policing. If you're going to be an ally you shouldn't need to be coddled lest you pick up your toys and go home.

I don't think I'm the one asking to be coddled.
 
I don't think I'm the one asking to be coddled.

POC points out the institutional racism they deal with every day. Does lots of emotional labour to help educate white people about the experiences of racism that POC deal with every day and the impact that has on them.

Reply from white person centres their own experiences claiming that white people experience racism too whilst attempting to minimise the race issues faced by POC and basically says "We would listen to you only if you didn't use the 'R' word."


Yeah, you are the one asking to be coddled here.
 
I didn't think you were. I was just curious to see if someone had actually been calling names or if you were taking offence to thin air.

Edit: The quote I replied to reeks of tone policing. If you're going to be an ally you shouldn't need to be coddled lest you pick up your toys and go home.

I don't think he wants to be an ally lol. Quite the opposite, in fact.
 
POC points out the institutional racism they deal with every day. Does lots of emotional labour to help educate white people about the experiences of racism that POC deal with every day and the impact that has on them.

Reply from white person centres their own experiences claiming that white people experience racism too whilst attempting to minimise the race issues faced by POC and basically says "We would listen to you only if you didn't use the 'R' word."


Yeah, you are the one asking to be coddled here.

Thank you for your eloquent patience here. You're awesome. :)
 
Purplesun,

Could you please, a black person, give me, a white person, any advice or suggestion on how we can create a better place in the world? I'd really like to know how i could show my sympathy and appreciation *to* POC for their experiences without coming across as patronizing or even more racist. I have one close friend who is "half black" (so of course she experiences the general public as just "black" even though raised "white"), and we talk about these topics, but with people whom i've only just met, or only come into contact casually, what are some approaches or demeanors would you recommend when it comes to being your ally, and not your foe?

Thank you for your participation on this forum.
 
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Purplesun,

Could you please, a black person, give me, a white person, any advice or suggestion on how we can create a better place in the world? I'd really like to know how i could show my sympathy and appreciation *to* POC for their experiences without coming across as patronizing or even more racist. I have one close friend who is "half black" (so of course she experiences the general public as just "black" even though raised "white"), and we talk about these topics, but with people whom i've only just met, or only come into contact casually, what are some approaches or demeanors would you recommend when it comes to being your ally, and not your foe?

Thank you for your participation on this forum.

Firstly, thank you for asking. That is the first step right there - conversations like this. Secondly, speaking up when you see a thread like this go down the path that this one has. Meaning, when people jump down the person of color's throat for pointing out racist behavior and privilege in wider society, point out that it isn't an affront to white people or an attack to point things like that out. This might be most important, because often a white person can say the exact same thing a person of color says, but it is received in a much more friendly manner, whereas it might be ignored or perceived as hostile when said by POC.

On forums like this where people try to pretend everything is equal or AOK, but clearly, as this thread demonstrates, there is bigotry to be found, start or champion safe spaces for minority groups - be that because of race, sexuality, gender/gender identity, what have you. Everyone needs to be able to be comfortable. I know that, especially after this thread and a couple others, this place has me hella on edge.

Also, whenever a person of color says something is racist, listen to why. We don't point this stuff out to come off as "angry" or what have you. A lot of folks think we do. Another big thing is pointing out to your fellow white people that talking about privilege does not mean we're saying their lives are easy. We're just saying that the color of their skin isn't one of the things that makes it harder. Finally, watch things like this, so you can hear people talk about their experiences daily. It's the closest you'll ever come to walking a mile in our shoes:

https://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/watch/-...ca-watch-msnbc-s-full-town-hall-1244256835526

Again, thank you for this.
 
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Exactly. The color of my skin is definitely not something that makes it harder for me.

The phenomenon of white people not noticing covert racism reminds me of men not noticing covert sexism. Recently i bought the wrong windshield wipers and because the salesman was very condescending and patronizing - in a polite and courteous way, mind you - i made my husband return them for me (heterosexual couple privilege here!). He was all, "i didn't think he was condescending, he was just a regular older dude." And i was like, uh huh, right, i would be surprised if it had been any other way. Fun Fact: The auto parts store up the road from the sexist one had no fewer than *three* (3) women working in it when i went there to buy the right wipers, and one of them looked like the supervisor or manager.

Sorry for the mini hijack though. I will watch that video when i get on the laptop because it isn't loading on the tablet, and i will respond to some of the salient points in your post.
 
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Exactly. The color of my skin is definitely not something that makes it harder for me.

The phenomenon of white people not noticing covert racism reminds me of men not noticing covert sexism. Recently i bought the wrong windshield wipers and because the salesman was very condescending and patronizing - in a polite and courteous way, mind you - i made my husband return them for me (heterosexual couple privilege here!). He was all, "i didn't think he was condescending, he was just a regular older dude." And i was like, uh huh, right, i would be surprised if it had been any other way. Fun Fact: The auto parts store up the road from the sexist one had no fewer than *three* (3) women working in it when i went there to buy the right wipers, and one of them looked like the supervisor or manager.

Sorry for the mini hijack though. I will watch that video when i get on the laptop because it isn't loading on the tablet, and i will respond to some of the salient points in your post.

No worries about the hijack! These comparisons are important, because it might cut through a bit more than a racism convo.

And you're right, the same thing happens with sexism. I think you're already an awesome ally. You totally get it.
 
I don't think he wants to be an ally lol. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Hardy har har

I have been on the side of civil rights longer than you have been alive. Your comment here proves you meant exactly what I thought you meant. However, Emm was wrong in thinking that might make me change my mind. I will continue to fight racism in this country. I don't need your approval.
 
Hardy har har

I have been on the side of civil rights longer than you have been alive. Your comment here proves you meant exactly what I thought you meant. However, Emm was wrong in thinking that might make me change my mind. I will continue to fight racism in this country. I don't need your approval.

I never said you needed my approval. However, good allyship to any minority means LISTENING to the members of that group and their experiences.

I never called you racist. All I said was that acting as if there is some kind of comparison between what white people experience and the system-wide racism against POC is, in and of itself, racist. I stand by that.
 
POC points out the institutional racism they deal with every day. Does lots of emotional labour to help educate white people about the experiences of racism that POC deal with every day and the impact that has on them.

Reply from white person centres their own experiences claiming that white people experience racism too whilst attempting to minimise the race issues faced by POC and basically says "We would listen to you only if you didn't use the 'R' word."


Yeah, you are the one asking to be coddled here.

I said none of that. It's as if you didn't even read my post. If you look back I said I understand what white privilege is. I never denied it's existence. I've never denied the existence of racism. I see it all around me every day. I don't need any of this explained to me. I was trying to take the conversation to a bigger picture. I was hoping to get some intelligent feedback. Instead assumptions were made and that is what turned this thread.
 
I never said you needed my approval. However, good allyship to any minority means LISTENING to the members of that group and their experiences.

I never called you racist. All I said was that acting as if there is some kind of comparison between what white people experience and the system-wide racism against POC is, in and of itself, racist. I stand by that.

Look, I am sorry it seemed like I wasn't listening. I already agree with that stuff. I just wanted to take the conversation to a different place instead of rehashing the same old script. We already know it exists. I am more interested in figuring out ways to change it. Since it's "my people" who need to do the changing I was hoping to be able to contribute something.

I do understand why you came to the assumptions you did.
 
I said none of that. It's as if you didn't even read my post. If you look back I said I understand what white privilege is. I never denied it's existence. I've never denied the existence of racism. I see it all around me every day. I don't need any of this explained to me. I was trying to take the conversation to a bigger picture. I was hoping to get some intelligent feedback. Instead assumptions were made and that is what turned this thread.

No worries. I think it's just that sometimes this board can be very exhausting as a member of any number of minority groups, and it just seemed that way. Things often don't come across as they are intended in text.
 
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