Ravenscroft
Banned
An insight was posted today (I've edited for presentation here) --
Some background for my case. I'm not a swinger, though I have plenty of friends in that circle. But our household was more than a bit "polymorphously perverse," & I've had plenty of experiences in three-, four-, & fivesomes, as well as the rare random pile. Additionally, for 15 years our household left plenty of opportunities to hear & occasionally see what was going on in another room. I didn't have any problems witnessing one of my partners "getting pounded"... but neither was it something I went out of my way for.
On the other hand, yes I have truly enjoyed seeing partners get sexual attention from others. I can't say it turned me on MORE than if I were doing it, but it was enjoyable to be able to appreciate the pleasure of someone I love without needing to do all the choreography.
However, I do believe it's important to emphasize that group sex is something ENTIRELY separate from polyamory. It's only dilletantes who want to cram everything together, & in the end reduce polyamory to just another kink.
It does seem to me that someone who wants to "get into poly" in order to exercise ANY fetish has already entirely missed the polyamory boat.
Personally, I think "cuckoldry" is a really stupid word (& any variant or abbreviation NOT an improvement). It's no better as a concept, being an amorphous wad of situations & fantasies that have some vague similarity.
Is there something about gender expectations that the fetish(es) seem to entirely be "a guy thing"? (Of course, I don't know of even one woman who gets turned on at the thought of a guy urinating... )
I wonder how much of it has to do with physiology. Supposedly, men have a refractory period after orgasm of 15 minutes or more, where they're not able to get a boner, & therefore are apparently sexually useless. But according to women I've spoken to, that's quite optimistic: many guys apparently can't manage more than one a day (even with Viagra/Cialis). As well, many guys can't last ten minutes PIV, & polls have found an average as low as two minutes & change.
Many women, though, can happily keep going for HOURS (at least occasionally), sometimes racking off a couple dozen thoroughgoing orgasms.
So is the fetish maybe some sort of expression of fear/envy at a woman's potential sexual appetite?
I agree, pretty much totally.Ok, this cuckold thing has been bugging me.
Poly guys whose wives and girlfriends date other men are not cuckolds. The thought that they are comes from some societal patriarchal bullshit in which it is not considered manly to allow one's woman to fuck someone else.
Some background for my case. I'm not a swinger, though I have plenty of friends in that circle. But our household was more than a bit "polymorphously perverse," & I've had plenty of experiences in three-, four-, & fivesomes, as well as the rare random pile. Additionally, for 15 years our household left plenty of opportunities to hear & occasionally see what was going on in another room. I didn't have any problems witnessing one of my partners "getting pounded"... but neither was it something I went out of my way for.
On the other hand, yes I have truly enjoyed seeing partners get sexual attention from others. I can't say it turned me on MORE than if I were doing it, but it was enjoyable to be able to appreciate the pleasure of someone I love without needing to do all the choreography.
However, I do believe it's important to emphasize that group sex is something ENTIRELY separate from polyamory. It's only dilletantes who want to cram everything together, & in the end reduce polyamory to just another kink.
It does seem to me that someone who wants to "get into poly" in order to exercise ANY fetish has already entirely missed the polyamory boat.
Personally, I think "cuckoldry" is a really stupid word (& any variant or abbreviation NOT an improvement). It's no better as a concept, being an amorphous wad of situations & fantasies that have some vague similarity.
Is there something about gender expectations that the fetish(es) seem to entirely be "a guy thing"? (Of course, I don't know of even one woman who gets turned on at the thought of a guy urinating... )
I wonder how much of it has to do with physiology. Supposedly, men have a refractory period after orgasm of 15 minutes or more, where they're not able to get a boner, & therefore are apparently sexually useless. But according to women I've spoken to, that's quite optimistic: many guys apparently can't manage more than one a day (even with Viagra/Cialis). As well, many guys can't last ten minutes PIV, & polls have found an average as low as two minutes & change.
Many women, though, can happily keep going for HOURS (at least occasionally), sometimes racking off a couple dozen thoroughgoing orgasms.
So is the fetish maybe some sort of expression of fear/envy at a woman's potential sexual appetite?