New kiwi guy

PolyMatt54

New member
Hi there


I am a 36 year old from new Zealand.

I sought out Google for advice on my relationship and ended up here!

Even as a kid I had thoughts of all the girls being my girlfriend (hahaha) and as an adult it's taken me 34 years to find a long term relationship. I have really struggled to get here!

My partner and I of 2 years both identify as poly. Me, I would like a relationship where everyone is equal and I want something serious (and closed) with both, and between the two ladies. My partner can't give me children which is a separate issue, but a poly relationship could solve that, though I realise that could cause a lot of negative emotion with my partner. So a proceed with caution thing.

My partner however, wildly varies with what she wants. A girlfriend, a play partner, or neither. As a result I don't know if a poly relationship will happen for me and feel like I need to tRy and get some answers for my own benefit. But don't want to push it for hers.

I feel like jealousy is playing a big part, she's admitted she gets jealous at the thought of me doing anything with another girl. But this also varies.

Ok sorry gone off on a tangent here! Um outside of the relationship I am planning a new event and got a charity being set up, to combat mental illness awareness. I have depression and anxiety and I feel like the world doesn't understand the illnesses and how to react.

I am a massive football (soccer) fan and play regularly. I have just started learning the guitar and want to write my own songs some day.

Thats all for now!
 
Greetings PolyMatt54,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are in the early stages of trying poly, it hasn't happened yet but you're in the planning stages. You intend to proceed with caution and I think that's a good idea. Also keep the channels of communication open, and check in often with your partner to see how she is feeling. Stuff I'm sure you're already doing.

I used to play the guitar, quite awhile ago. My callouses are long gone. I've composed some piano songs though again, it was many years ago. Now I post on the internet. ;)

Glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi PolyMatt54 - and welcome to the Forum! We have lots of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful. Please feel free to post any specific thoughts and questions that you have to the Poly Relationships Corner and the General Poly Discussion sections - you are certain to get some good responses. Best of luck on your poly journey! Al
 
I'm 39, and Australian: just across the ditch.

Welcome. You sound lovely and like all of us are trying to find your own way.

My question is: what do you want? And is your partner on board?

I'm grasping at straws here, but it sounds like you want children and that your partner can't produce them. If so, there are lots of options: surrogacy, IVF, adoption, not having children, polyamory (I know, I'm telling you how to suck eggs here).

Is your main goal to have children? That's noble, but also really difficult to navigate and for me to give any advice on. The mileage on others' advice may be better. Personally, I've never been in a polyamorous relationship with shared children. People do it, and I understand it works, but it's a much larger initial step than 'merely' loving two people.

Sentinel
 
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Welcome PolyMatt54! Good luck on your poly exploration with your partner.

I also appreciate your interests apart from poly. As someone who has struggled off and on with depression and anxiety (but only to a mild degree), I can appreciate the importance of this work.

... I am planning a new event and got a charity being set up, to combat mental illness awareness.

But shouldn't we be trying to foster mental illness awareness rather than combat it? (j/k – a wee joke)

I too would like to learn the guitar, but have barely started. (I've bought the guitar, so I've gotten that far. :))

Respectfully,

vanillasub
 
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