lost4naught
New member
Okay so here's some background about my husband and myself.
We've been together for over 13 years. We pretty much grew up together. As with any couples, we've been through our ups and downs. We've stuck it out in times where other couples would fall apart. Dishonesty, long distance, financial problems...
About a year and a half ago, we went on a date with a poly girl. We had always been open and honest about our desire to have someone join us in the bedroom. The date went very well, and we started seeing her more. But the connection between them was very sexual, and I grew jealous.
I'm a firm believer that you can't knock something until you try it, so I gave my husband the freedom to explore polyamory. I was in hell, to say the least. Wondering what he was doing constantly, and resenting that he wanted to spend time with other women rather than be with me.
Eventually, they had ended their relationship (probably because of me and my insecurity). And I knew there was another woman that was mostly a sexual connection. He has not pursued it since because our relationship together was suffering. We have since been better.
But when the topic comes up, and it comes up quite a bit, we never make progress on it. This is something my husband clearly wants, and I don't know if I can accept this in my life. At the same time, I am not certain about whether I want the same freedom. Sounds contradictory, I know.
But this man is the most important person in my life. I don't want to throw away 13 years because I can't adapt to the challenges we face. Maybe poly is good for the both of us. Maybe it isn't. But I need some insight. My husband has always been supportive of me. And I want to be supportive of him.
Thank you for reading.
We've been together for over 13 years. We pretty much grew up together. As with any couples, we've been through our ups and downs. We've stuck it out in times where other couples would fall apart. Dishonesty, long distance, financial problems...
About a year and a half ago, we went on a date with a poly girl. We had always been open and honest about our desire to have someone join us in the bedroom. The date went very well, and we started seeing her more. But the connection between them was very sexual, and I grew jealous.
I'm a firm believer that you can't knock something until you try it, so I gave my husband the freedom to explore polyamory. I was in hell, to say the least. Wondering what he was doing constantly, and resenting that he wanted to spend time with other women rather than be with me.
Eventually, they had ended their relationship (probably because of me and my insecurity). And I knew there was another woman that was mostly a sexual connection. He has not pursued it since because our relationship together was suffering. We have since been better.
But when the topic comes up, and it comes up quite a bit, we never make progress on it. This is something my husband clearly wants, and I don't know if I can accept this in my life. At the same time, I am not certain about whether I want the same freedom. Sounds contradictory, I know.
But this man is the most important person in my life. I don't want to throw away 13 years because I can't adapt to the challenges we face. Maybe poly is good for the both of us. Maybe it isn't. But I need some insight. My husband has always been supportive of me. And I want to be supportive of him.
Thank you for reading.