Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I am not bisexual. I also have no desire to have either of my guys start posturing and trying to be an alpha male, because that kind of person and I would never be in a relationship together.

I AM bisexual and I told Dude that I had reservations because I saw us as both needing to be alpha. It has actually worked out OK in the long-run because our need to be "in control" has different foci. But I could NOT cope with an "alpha male" that felt the need to control MY behaviour...nope, not gonna work.
 
Geee, where have I heard this story before? Oh I remember, with every single post of his.

Sorry to interrupt your blog Bluebird and I will bow out I just get tired of reading the same thing over and over again.
 
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he posted in my journal, the exact same thing, months ago. I mean, I'm happy to read new perspectives, but it's the same thing each time. I'm not bisexual, my guys are balanced and can handle the fact that they aren't the only man in my life. I'm not sure what else to say.
 
.... I'm not sure what else to say.

Well, seeing as it is YOUR blog, you can say (or NOT say) whatever you like.:p

What works for one person or group of people, may not work for another. There is no "one true way" to do poly! (Although there are lots of ways to screw it up - as there is with ANY relationship!)

I am very happy for you that you have found a situation that works for you and yours. AND I am very excited about your upcoming wedding - which is weird, because it is not something that I, personally, am interested in doing again - Dude is not really the "ceremony" sort and the reasons - personal and legal - that applied to MrS and I 19 years ago, would no longer be in play (although, if the laws ever change, I could see doing a private civil proceeding if that would make making "arrangements" easier).

JaneQ
 
Don't worry Bluebird, you don't have to be exactly like Len51's wife to succeed at poly. And I think everyone here knows it.
 
I saw Bluebird and Punkrock out and about today (I won't throw their business out there about where but it was just a regular domestic place). Noticed Punkrock first but it was rather strange seeing someone that I only recognize from a message board.
 
Haha! I was wondering if someone from here would be there after a PM the other day. No fair not introducing yourself. :)

Yeah, PunkRock and I were at the Board Game Auction today. It was a pretty great day, actually. I had a list of games I was hoping to get and I did pick up a couple. I am most excited to play Pandemic, and I am promised we will all have time tomorrow night. PunkRock and I went to Ikea afterward, and he bought me a FLYGDRAKE, which is a fat little stuffed dragon that has a derp face.

When I got home, DarkKnight had bought me flowers.

I am the luckiest woman in the world!
 
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Wedding update, since peeps are interested. :)

I paid the final half on our bungalow this morning ($400) and printed out the contract with the photographer. I should get that in the mail tomorrow. I bought the veil this weekend, and tomorrow afternoon I plan to go purchase a couple of flowers to replace the white one on the clip - it's a birdcage veil, like I wanted.

My friend who is a baker sent me a couple of "in progress" pics tonight of the cake topper she is making for us.

I've given up trying to get a photo to pop in here - whenever I click on the icon, it closes the app. It's in my photo album here, at least. It's worth a click over - seriously awesome Sculpty topper! It's two octopi, in our wedding colors, hugging. The ring color isn't painted yet, and the veil flowers aren't final, since my veil isn't. :) you'll notice my octopus has a bouquet like mine too! I am overjoyed at how awesome it looks!
 
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That has got to be one of the cutest cake toppers ever! Absolutely love it - seems so perfect for you and PunkRock! :)
 
Isn't it just?! I squeed SO very loud when I first saw the picture. It's great!
 
What a great idea. Super cute :)
 
My friend is making us the top portion of the cake I have in my photo album (a 9-inch round). We are going to eat it together over the course of our honeymoon, which is at the same property as the ceremony. We are renting the bungalow and acreage from May 18 to May 21. The wedding is on the 19th. :)

Squee! I was able to see the topper in person yesterday, and the colors in the photo are a little off - the green octopus definitely looks more teal in real life.

I am currently trying to wake up and decide whether or not to head to DC today. I was thinking about taking my daughter to support the gay rights crowd as the Supreme Court starts hearing oral arguments today on same sex marriage. I have zero illusions about being able to go watch the proceedings, as people have been lined up for days for that, but we could go down and be a part of the crowd.

But that's why I am hesitating - I don't want to deal with traffic!
 
So, Pandemic is my new favorite game. I've played four times and won only once, and that was at the very last possible moment. I actually liked it so much I purchased the iPhone app. I've lost 5 times there. Lol I love this! At no time when playing is anyone just sitting waiting for their turn - everyone is clued in and excited. My daughter has a friend coming over today because he saw from my Facebook we own it and he is fired up to play. Lol

Tonight is board game night at our local game store, and I think I might take Red Dragon Inn. I have two different versions, but it's been a while since I played. I'm going to take a look in a bit. PunkRock recommended Zombicide, so I might bring that instead. We own SO much of that though, seriously. I would have to make some choices about what portions to leave at home and which to take!

DarkKnight thinks he has an ear infection, so he left work this morning and headed over to the doctor. :( I still have a cough that is lingering, but I am beginning to think it is my acid reflux and not from the cold I had.

I ordered two new bras and they were shipped free to the store, so I need to go pick them up. One is all white and lacy and I bought it for my wedding! I really need to buy like 4 more new bras, but at around $50 a pop, I can't afford it right now. I might squeeze in 2 more in a week or so, but we will have to see. PunkRock still needs to buy his wedding shoes - he's trying to decide between a new pair of Doc Martins or a new pair of black Converse. My shoes are Converse, so it might look cute to have them match by brand. He also needs to get his suit pants hemmed. I had forgotten about that until just now - I will be sending him out to do that this weekend, I think!
 
PunkRock was hired full time at his job! I am so proud of him - he has a really strong work ethic and the higher-ups noticed. To be truthful, I am bummed that I will see even less of him during the day, but we are building toward a great future and this was the goal all along. We hope when we move, him being full time will make him more likely to be able to transfer to another store, so he won't have to search for employment in whatever area we settle.

DarkKnight does have a sinus infection, so I am glad I encouraged him to go to the doctor's office yesterday. He's on an antibiotic now so he should feel better soon. My poor sweetie!

I still have one more handfasting cord to create, and I want to finish that today. I need to contact our officiant and make sure everything is all set too.

OMG DarkKnight and I are headed to New York on Sunday. I am beginning to get a little anxious about being away from PunkRock. DarkKnight has training, so his work is footing the bill. I will be going along and on Tuesday, I plan to meet with my mom and siblings to scatter my dad's ashes. I've been reading different websites about making a memorable scene. I seriously just want it over. Not sure if I posted this, but a few days ago my brother messaged me saying that we needed to charter a boat to go put the ashes in the lake, otherwise the ashes would just float back and end up on shore. I was like what? They're ashes! Some may float, but I am fairly certain they will dissolve. Sigh. I want to scatter them in the wind along the shoreline.
 
Trying again to post my in-progress cake topper...

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Hey, it worked!

Here is a pic of the handfasting cords I've made so far. I need 6 cords, each 6 feet long, for the ceremony. I've finished 5, and 2 of them are like 5 feet long. I hope that doesn't screw up everything, but I think it should be ok. I need to complete the last one this afternoon!

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A close-up of the end of one of my handfasting cords. Fancy!

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On a separate note, I am going to be teaching another high-school level science course in the Fall. Biology, again. I have two people already express interest, and that's all I need to make money at it, so it's a go as long as they pay. lol I need to make some money - lately it's been pouring out of my bank account at an alarming rate. Now that we've increased life insurance all around, I am beginning to feel the pinch. I am also debating as to whether to host a summer day camp for tweens with an interest in Science.
 
I know! I've seen The Big Lebowski! :)
 
Well, last night was kinda sad for me. DarkKnight had play practice and PunkRock had planned on painting all evening, so I was set for a night alone, watching Netflix. I was ok with this. Then, PunkRock told me he wasn't in the mood for painting and we could spend time together instead. We ended up on opposite couches, while he was on his phone reading Facebook the entire time. I decided to turn on Breaking Bad to make him shut off his phone, which he finally did, and he came over to lay with me, but immediately after one episode he went downstairs to bed. I was left feeling very out of sorts and rejected. We hadn't had sex in a couple of days and I had been hoping for that. He offered to help me masturbate before heading to sleep, but he had done that the day before, and I wanted more than that. And I definitely didn't want him agreeing to sex me up when he wasn't really into it. I want him to want me, dammit, otherwise it isn't good for me.

I realized I was being a mess so I just went upstairs to bed myself. I kinda wish he hadn't spent any time with me at all, as it left me all out of sorts because the time didn't feel like quality time. If that makes sense.

That said, DarkKnight came home eventually and gave me some great snuggles and we fell asleep wrapped around each other. This is always awesome because he doesn't do that often.

PunkRock came and snuggled me early in the morning today, before going to work, and that was what I needed from him at that time, so I am feeling better. Still sexually frustrated, but better.

I picked up my new bras the other day and I think the hot pink one - which I wore yesterday - makes my tits look fabulous. New bras always lift my boobs and my spirits! I guess it actually added to my frustration though, in that I posted a pic on FetLife and got lots of loves but it didn't motivate DarkKnight or PunkRock to pay more attention to me, or like, you know, fuck me. Sigh.

I honestly know they are tired and not crazy horny but that they love me. I don't question that. It just sucks that physical touch is what I need to feel loved, and a huge part of that is knowing that my guys want to grab me and fuck me. When they go a couple of days without showing that desire, it puts me out of sorts. I feel like I am doing better, but I still need to work on shutting down my disappointment when they don't want me as much as I need them.

Anyway, today I am feeling upbeat and I'm working at being motivated to get stuff done around here. I bought tickets for DarkKnight and me to go see Age of Ultron tomorrow, as his birthday present (his birthday is next weekend) and I made a date with PunkRock to go grocery shopping tonight after dinner with me. DarkKnight and I leave for NY for an entire week on Sunday, so I need to get some food in the house for PunkRock and my kids. I figured PunkRock and I could shop together, so he can pick what he'd like to eat.

I have to ride with my son today to go get his car's oil changed - he doesn't know where to go - and run errands at the bank. My daughter has to be at work to bus tables starting at 4 pm, so I'll drop her 15 minutes early before heading on to what will hopefully be the final fitting for my wedding dress! So stoked about that!

Oh shit, I just realized that no one will be there to help me into my corset - I am going to have to wear it driving, which will be a new experience. I can sort of sit while in it, so hopefully it will work out!
 
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