Curious about ending relationships..

queenba

New member
Just sort of an informal poll:

Have you (Person A) ever had a relationship with someone (Person B) end primarily because of a 3rd party (metamour, Person C) and not because of something within the relationship between Person A and B?

Was the relationship ever re-instated (between Person A and B)? What were the circumstances around that?
 
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Oh you mean the 3rd person was someone you dated. My scenario was around a 3rd person who I am not romantically involved with, but thanks for the comment.
 
happens all the time. My metamour demanded it or he would leave the marriage he has with my girlfriend. They have four kids and have been married 15yrs. I didn't want that responsibility so due to that duress its over. When children are involved it gives metamours a tool to use a wedge to force a relationship to end due to their own insecurities. Especially when they are the only bread winner of the house.
 
I had a situation where I was unhappy about the relationship between my partner and metamour. I did end the relationship but it was primarily due to communication problems between my partner and I. The friction between me and her metamour was just the final straw.
 
Yes, twice. Boyfriend 1 and I have no contact now, and I believe it is because the person who came between us, his domme, would be displeased with him if we did. I wrote to him a few times over the past few years and tried calling once and he never responded. We were together over two years and we had considered each other best friends. The domme had been up front with him about wanting him to get rid of me, and he wouldn't, so she resorted to manipulation and deceit and phony emails purporting to be from people we knew, etc. I hear that she wanted to get rid of a more recent partner of his because she didn't like the long-distance nature of it, and succeeded there too. I don't consider that boyfriend a great loss now, even though I loved him, because he is clearly her puppet. I see him sometimes across the room at events and he looks really unhappy.

I did try to reinstate the relationship with Boyfriend 2 about a year after we broke up. His wife had come between us because she was jealous and not owning it, after he and I had been together about a year. In the process of an attempted reconciliation, he revealed that he was more than a bit mentally unhinged and irrational, just like his wife, not to mention petty, resentful, hanging onto anger for minor things that had happened a long time ago. He actually told me that a more recent romantic partner of his, who by his own admission to me was avoiding having sex with him most of the time because she was "tired," was superior to me BECAUSE I had had sex with him pretty much whenever he wanted it. Apparently he equated withholding sex with virtue. Or something like that. His wife hadn't wanted to sleep with him much either, so I guess he was used to it. It was all just too loony and I did a quick 360 from wanting to reconcile with him to wanting nothing to do with him.

After these two experiences, I have learned that if a partner lets a third party come between us, he isn't worth hanging onto, and I should be the one leaving the relationship with skid marks. My current boyfriend's wife seems very supportive, but if she ever ceases to be so and he looks like he might give in to her, I will be outta there.
 
I had it happen late last year. His primary partner/fiancee told him it was either her or me because she felt threatened and didn't like me. Obviously, he chose the person he's loved for years and had been building a life with over the person he'd loved for months. Communication, goals, and pretty much everything else between he and I were great - the only issues we'd dealt with were hers.
 
It's happened to many people here, most often, it seems, to "unicorns" like myself.

Like AlwaysGrowing, it happened to me last year, and for similar reasons. The drama of the "primary" was too much for my partner to deal with, and the mental state of the "primary" was questionable enough that he felt he had no choice. Like AG, my partner and I had an otherwise very healthy, stable, and wonderful relationship, and our only real issue was the "primary."
 
All situations are unique, so it's not a "never" thing. Things can change (the A+B partnership dissolves, for example, or a new relationship dynamic can evolve, or perhaps their issues get worked out.

That said, if you're the "third," I think it's less likely. But, I have no evidence for that, just what I've seen in my limited experience.
 
Just sort of an informal poll:

Have you (Person A) ever had a relationship with someone (Person B) end primarily because of a 3rd party (metamour, Person C) and not because of something within the relationship between Person A and B?

Was the relationship ever re-instated (between Person A and B)? What were the circumstances around that?

I don't get why you;d do this.

If your relationship with B is good, why would you let C come in and dictate how it should go?
 
I don't get why you;d do this.

If your relationship with B is good, why would you let C come in and dictate how it should go?

Unfortunately, sometimes A doesn't get a say in the matter. Also, sometimes person C can make things so untenable that something has to give, which is what happened in my situation.
 
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Unfortunately, sometimes A doesn't get a say in the matter. Also, sometimes person C can make things so untenable that something has to give, which is what happened in my situation.

Well, without knowing the specifics of what happened, I obviously can't comment, but it seems to me that if C is driving a wedge between me and B, then it is C who needs to go. People are responsible for their own actions, after all. And I also think that in a good, open and honest poly relationship, A should always have a say in the matter.
 
more details

Well, without knowing the specifics of what happened, I obviously can't comment, but it seems to me that if C is driving a wedge between me and B, then it is C who needs to go. People are responsible for their own actions, after all. And I also think that in a good, open and honest poly relationship, A should always have a say in the matter.

Just to give a little more detail, C and B are married and B decided that he's tired of C starting fights about A all the time, so he decided to let A go.
 
I agree. It just doesn't always happen that way, unfortunately. In my case, without being too specific, it was because it wasn't an open, honest polyship being had in good faith by all parties. My metamour decided to be an emotionally manipulative person to us both, and dehumanizing to me. It had been a triad, but I quite seeing her at that point, because I do not put up with that kind of behavior. My partner and I continued on seeing one another for some months, however, eventually he felt for various reasons that our relationship had to end for her issues. They were married, which complicated things a good bit, obviously.

But, the upshot was that her issues, and the issues in their relationship, ended mine with him, despite he and I being very compatible.
 
Queenba, that is a pretty common story, unfortunately.
 
Just to give a little more detail, C and B are married and B decided that he's tired of C starting fights about A all the time, so he decided to let A go.

That's sad. Communication is always needed in poly relationships (polyships?), and it seems like it was lacking here. It seems that C was just being noisy until B just gave up.
 
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