Sorry for the dramatic title... but it seems dramatic at times.
Both my lover and I are very emotional creatures. It's part of why we have such deep relationship even tho we live apart. Both being married and living with our spouses. I think if we were married to each other we may explode lol.
That said I've mentioned his 'ex' in previous posts. They had been on and off for 16 years. She attached herself at a young age. Her jealousy became so huge she threatened him about him even sleeping with his own wife.
So the past few months she has been slowly letting go. He wanted so badly to keep her as a friend since in that way he truly enjoyed her company.
She just could not adjust. She could not have the open and honest relationship he needed or the option of just friendship. So now they do not sppesk at all.
It's been a few weeks and yesterday after our day together he began talking about missing her and began to cry. Not unusual for him...
But it is very difficult for me to try and help. When he and I began our relationship she was already so far into this control issue that he was in depression with her. To the point of stress sleeping and at one point a thought of suicide. He gives me some credit for opening his eyes to her games and intentions. He is happy with me and content with his wife. But there is something about that woman that he misses.
He began describing her... mentioning traits I never even saw in her. All I saw was the pain she caused and the rift she caused between he and many friends so she could get her way.
Perhaps she used to be that good friend and I just wasn't there to see it before she changed.
I realize it hasn't been long and it is a kind of grief. But I am at a loss as to how to help.
We practice radical honesty together. He says just listening is enough. Maybe it is. Time will tell.
But has anyone else dealt with this 'ex greif' type situation? And any advice that would help?
Both my lover and I are very emotional creatures. It's part of why we have such deep relationship even tho we live apart. Both being married and living with our spouses. I think if we were married to each other we may explode lol.
That said I've mentioned his 'ex' in previous posts. They had been on and off for 16 years. She attached herself at a young age. Her jealousy became so huge she threatened him about him even sleeping with his own wife.
So the past few months she has been slowly letting go. He wanted so badly to keep her as a friend since in that way he truly enjoyed her company.
She just could not adjust. She could not have the open and honest relationship he needed or the option of just friendship. So now they do not sppesk at all.
It's been a few weeks and yesterday after our day together he began talking about missing her and began to cry. Not unusual for him...
But it is very difficult for me to try and help. When he and I began our relationship she was already so far into this control issue that he was in depression with her. To the point of stress sleeping and at one point a thought of suicide. He gives me some credit for opening his eyes to her games and intentions. He is happy with me and content with his wife. But there is something about that woman that he misses.
He began describing her... mentioning traits I never even saw in her. All I saw was the pain she caused and the rift she caused between he and many friends so she could get her way.
Perhaps she used to be that good friend and I just wasn't there to see it before she changed.
I realize it hasn't been long and it is a kind of grief. But I am at a loss as to how to help.
We practice radical honesty together. He says just listening is enough. Maybe it is. Time will tell.
But has anyone else dealt with this 'ex greif' type situation? And any advice that would help?