mandalagirl
New member
Hey all!
So I am brand new to the poly world. My boyfriend of 5 years (he'll be called B) and I have recently started talking to a wonderful girl. Call her K.
Now, my question will include a LOT of "summarizing" to try to make this post as short as possible. We all get along very well. She and my B text, get along, have interests in common. K and I text, get along, have interests in common. When we are all 3 in a room it feels natural and normal and does not feel weird. Everything is great. We all enjoy each other and are sexually attracted to each other.
K has been in several long term poly relationships and B and I are just starting. So our first 'encounter' last night.
Everything was going AMAZING. Honestly best sex of my life. We were all 3 participating evenly, and everything was great. K had requested no "intercourse" from B that night, but hands and etc. would be fine. (she told me this morning that she wished she would not have made that rule, as she 'really wanted B to fuck her"
So, there was a moment where the whole thing - I want to say shattered for me. She started fillacio on B. I tried to join her in the process several times. She wasn't letting me anywhere near that. Very confused because all other aspects were very communal.
I stepped back, stayed stepped back. No one noticed. I walked out of room, distraught, and went to the bathroom. I don't think either saw how upset I was - verge of tears. Looked back in and saw them kissing deeply and heart sunk again.
I had to go into the other room and calm my breath, I was almost hyperventilating. When I came back in they didn't seem to have noticed. We laid down for "bed" and B initiated a few more encounters that night. They were fine, kept playing with all three as usual.
But now, it feels like the whole experience was ruined for me. All the three way play was amazing - but my heart still feels this weird crushing breaking feeling when I think of the middle of encounter.
We all cuddled all night in bed, she went home and B and I went to our day jobs.
I am not sure where to go from here. So much if it felt so right and natural - and i KNOW she wants more with B. She even expressed it this morning. I know B would want more with her - aka more direct sex between the two of them.
Help! Am I not ready for poly? Where do I go from here? how do I explain without sounding selfish? And without dismissing all the lovely parts of the evening??
So I am brand new to the poly world. My boyfriend of 5 years (he'll be called B) and I have recently started talking to a wonderful girl. Call her K.
Now, my question will include a LOT of "summarizing" to try to make this post as short as possible. We all get along very well. She and my B text, get along, have interests in common. K and I text, get along, have interests in common. When we are all 3 in a room it feels natural and normal and does not feel weird. Everything is great. We all enjoy each other and are sexually attracted to each other.
K has been in several long term poly relationships and B and I are just starting. So our first 'encounter' last night.
Everything was going AMAZING. Honestly best sex of my life. We were all 3 participating evenly, and everything was great. K had requested no "intercourse" from B that night, but hands and etc. would be fine. (she told me this morning that she wished she would not have made that rule, as she 'really wanted B to fuck her"
So, there was a moment where the whole thing - I want to say shattered for me. She started fillacio on B. I tried to join her in the process several times. She wasn't letting me anywhere near that. Very confused because all other aspects were very communal.
I stepped back, stayed stepped back. No one noticed. I walked out of room, distraught, and went to the bathroom. I don't think either saw how upset I was - verge of tears. Looked back in and saw them kissing deeply and heart sunk again.
I had to go into the other room and calm my breath, I was almost hyperventilating. When I came back in they didn't seem to have noticed. We laid down for "bed" and B initiated a few more encounters that night. They were fine, kept playing with all three as usual.
But now, it feels like the whole experience was ruined for me. All the three way play was amazing - but my heart still feels this weird crushing breaking feeling when I think of the middle of encounter.
We all cuddled all night in bed, she went home and B and I went to our day jobs.
I am not sure where to go from here. So much if it felt so right and natural - and i KNOW she wants more with B. She even expressed it this morning. I know B would want more with her - aka more direct sex between the two of them.
Help! Am I not ready for poly? Where do I go from here? how do I explain without sounding selfish? And without dismissing all the lovely parts of the evening??