Demisexual isn't some rare hothouse flower. Lots people are like that, it's just that now we have a word for it, but very few people know what the word is. Lots of people don't have sexual feelings until they feel an emotional connection, that's not something unusual.
Maybe so, but it appears that the word "demisexual" doesn't identify one type or kind, but a broad and diverse spectrum of types and kinds.
Unless someone with authority to do so can police the word use to keep it narrowly constrained, that is.
As it stands, the word 'demisexaul' refers not just to folks who don't experience some sexual
attraction without "an emotional connection," but also to people who may experience
some level of attraction
but would not act upon that prior to the establishment of some level of trust, affection, connection, etc.
On the other end of the spectrum are people who will hop nakedly into bed with someone they met five minutes before, or less, and who require none of this "touchy-feely" nonsense.
To the best of my current knowledge, the word 'demisexual' was invented by folks who identify as asexual as a designation for a particular kind or type of asexuality! It only gets more confusing from there.
The author of
this article says, "The reason demisexuality is considered a variation of asexuality is simply because a demisexual person doesn't experience attraction to a person unless they feel a deeper connection."
But this seems to be quite an oversimplification of the matter. It gets more nuanced as you get more familiar. Attraction exists on a spectrum of both kind and degree. One can have the thought, "That person is attractive," but not
feel attracted (for example). Arousal is often not even mentioned in these discussions about demisexuality, but it may be as important a factor as attraction. Attraction doesn't always lead to arousal, after all. One can be extremely attracted to someone and yet not become aroused with them, even while in bed, naked and cuddling with them. This distinction is not negligible. It's crucial, even central. At least as central (core to the topic) as attraction.
People like me have (at least!) a lot in common with demisexuals -- even though we may not belong to the demisexual class if it is narrowly confined to attraction and without reference to arousal. And arousal is something which also exists on a spectrum of both kind and degree! (Like I said, it's a nuanced topic.) There is the kind of arousal which one would act upon in a hot minute and there is the kind one could not act upon and would not, even if offered. Same with attraction. It makes no sense to restrict everything to just one component of a total, integrated whole, I think.