New to poly from SC.

JasonJones

New member
This forum has been very helpful working with this lifestyle as this is a big step for me in our relationship. This has been an interesting ride for me as I have been a "serial monogamist" most of my life, my wife I am convinced was poly from the start. When we dated, she was dating multiple guys, and had different types of relationships with each. She gave all that up when she started to date me. Fast forward 20 some odd years, we get along great, but our sex life has been pretty mundane, border on utilitarian. This manifested itself into my wife falling for a guy at our apartment complex. Instead of just cheating on me, as she is quite open and honest, she put it out there and said this is whats going on, and wanted a free pass to have a relationship with him. That's when we got into a very open discussion of a poly relationship.

The discussion was so very natural for her, and all throughout our time together, she has always mentioned women that she would let me have a relationship with etc.. Never once did I really get it until then. I understand what she is getting at completely, getting to the point of comfortability has been a small struggle. Not a huge struggle, but mainly how to act in certain scenarios.. Like when she was upset that the guy at the apartment complex we lived wouldn't have a relationship with her. At first I was like, why the hell should I be upset about it, to after reading stuff here and other places was I should be there for her comforting her. Helping her cope. Its all part of this lifestyle. It's been an incredibly positive experience too. Our sex life has improved dramatically as well and we have been less argumentative with each other.

I'm still working on finding the right woman for me, and the wife is still looking to find someone she is comfortable with. She has had more prospects than I but thats just a given I think. I just wanted to say hello to everyone here and say the site has been very helpful with me understanding poly.

-J
 
Greetings JasonJones,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Glad to hear the site has been helpful so far; it sounds like you're on a steep learning curve so it does help to be able to tap into the collective experience here. I hope you and your wife both find people that are good for you; remember that she could find someone first. (As you indicated, women seem to get more interested people than men do.)

If you have any questions or concerns, let us know. Glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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