Somewhere to think

Orangesmartie

New member
I need somewhere to think, where people don't know me in real life, don't know vanilla me, professional me, kinky me or poly me. Where I can 'thought' vomit without recrimination or censorship.

I'm currently sitting at paddington station, drinking extortionately priced wine, too frightened to go home, because my relationships are disintegrating and I am powerless to help.

Yes, I'm being a coward, I'm hiding, because I don't want to face the unpleasant. I know I have to, but right now, this drunk buzz is better.

I've had a leaving do for work tonight, hence the drunk. And my partners (closed triad) are at home working on a problem that is between the two of them.

I think, for best resolution, I need to leave the relationship, to allow the two of them to work on the problem, without complication. Neither of them agree, but we have not managed to resolve the problem as a three so far and I think I am getting in the way.

More than anything, I want them to be happy and if that means being apart, I will do it, however heart breaking.

I know this doesn't make sense, but I have no one to talk to. My few friends who know of my situation are not answering calls/texts and I just need this crap out of my head. I haven't slept in 3 days.

I hate typing on a phone. I want to type out the problem, work it through in my head, but fat fingers and small touch keyboard equal spelling errors, which annoy me.

So I'm typing here, in an effort not to feel alone, in the hope that however bad I feel now, it won't be that bad when I get home. I am delaying the inevitable
But maybe if I get back really late, I can go straight to bed (I get up at 6am) and bypass conversation. Or be so pissed it's not worth talking to me.

Why did I choose a relationship model where I am second best?
 
Thanks Bassman, nice to hear from a fellow brit. I've made it home. We're being very British about it and ignoring said situation. On the plus side, with my blood alcohol level, I might get some sleep!
 
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Tonight I am so angry I am vibrating. All lines of communication shut down for the foreseeable future.

I need to think seriously about whether I can continue.
 
Do you need an anonymous friend?
 
Hate to say it, but if all lines of communication are shut down for the foreseeable future... The decision on if you can continue seems made. Best thing to do now is how they can work things out.
 
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