Greetings and Salutations!

inkpixie72

New member
Hello to all :)

Just wanted to take a second and put an intro in for myself, and connect with those who share in this same lifestyle.
I've been interested in this topic, and the last couple of days have done tons of reading and research, and am relieved that there are others out there like us who we can communicate with.
Only a few others know of our lifestyle - as mainstream society still feels more comfortable riding the monogamy train, and we don't want our children to have to deal with the backlash.
My husband and I are very much in love, as well as genuinely like each other. He is hetero, and I am bi (two different sexual relationships with women) but am quite happy at this time with just my husband. We have welcomed 2 different women- not at the same time! (who were friends prior) to our sex life (and remain so now). We have been Poly for almost two years now. I took part in one, and the other was solely my husband - which is mainly the arrangement we have. Both were good with the "no strings" sex, one I know for certain has feelings for him deeper than friendship, and I am guessing would jump at the chance to be a "Sister Wife" to coin a popular term - but we've talked openly about it and she doesn't push and is content right now with the friendship and sex. The friendship is most definitely not contingent on the sex.
I have NO wish at this time to share either his heart or his soul, as I feel very territorial over those...and we have been very up front and clear about the fact that we are NOT looking for another "wife" or "emotional partner"!
We do feel that even a sexual relationship is based in emotion and attraction, especially when there is already an existing friendship. We just like to be clear that we aren't looking for committed relationship outside of the sex and friendship. (Does that sound odd!?)
Maybe we just haven't met the right person so we haven't been open to that, but I think it's due to the fact that emotionally we meet each others needs just fine. My husband has a HIGH sex drive, and we both have a slight freak streak, so extra sex partner for him as "back up" seems to be an arrangement that is working for us. Any sexual encounters (which average maybe once a month) without me are videotaped, that my husband and I watch together at a later time (enter slight freak streak here :eek: ).
I think the key to any relationship - ESPECIALLY to a poly one - is COMMUNICATION. Honesty, openness and trust. Anything else is unacceptable.
I'm human and there is a certain amount of wonder, and sometimes slight jealousy - which is usually PMS related and fleeting - but talking about it helps. You always wonder if he will meet THAT someone who he wants to be with as much as he wants to be with me, or is the sex better with that person, or - Gods forbid - we end up with a partner who ends up channeling her inner 'Fatal Attraction". As with every relationship, there are pros and cons. And to those of you who are making it work, or struggling to find yourself in this mono/poly world - you aren't alone!!
 
Greetings inkpixie72,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you have your agreements worked out pretty well; I would just say carry on and participate here whenever you can. There may be people who need advice from you.

Communication is always the first key polyamorists cite for successful polyamory -- I like to say productive communication, as just talking doesn't necessarily get us anywhere unless we really listen and empathize too.

Anyway ... glad to have you with us; hope you enjoy your stay.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
Hi there InkPixie

I like the energy of your post and I just wanted to say welcome. I have met a lot of great people here on this site..

I understand your feelings of jealousy, I struggle with my own even now, and I Renee was married long before I joined this relationship, it does get better. I keep a journal (more about my feelings than anything else) and Renee and I read it together. At the start of our relationship it was pretty much once a week but now its like once every two or three weeks. I am learning more about myself and what triggers the feeling of jealousy, and I am getting better at dealing with them. if you ever want to talk about it let me know..

Jill
 
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