Yeah... "gal" says to me, "This guy doesn't have any respect for women, he just thinks they're toys or wants to pat them on the head and smile condescendingly." That's just my opinion, but I know I'm not the only one who thinks that way.
The rest of this is also just my opinion, and I realize I'm weird, but still, it's something to maybe consider.
When I read a profile, I don't actually care whether the guy's good in the sack, or has a ton of interests, or is good-looking. Seeing those kinds of things in a profile makes me think the guy is shallow and only seeking sex, and wouldn't be able to carry a conversation in a bucket. Same if a guy messages me.
I don't look for a specific physical appearance or someone who's interested in a specific thing. And I don't look for sex, though if I get involved with someone I probably hope sex will be part of it at some point. I look for someone I can click with on an intellectual basis. Someone I can make an offbeat, obscure reference to and he'll either understand it or ask me more about it, rather than getting annoyed because he has no clue what I'm talking about. Someone I would be friends with regardless of what else goes on between us.
When I first "met" Hubby on AFF, I didn't want anything to do with him. His profile was entirely focused on his physical appearance and stamina (he's a boat captain; he was a swing dance instructor and competitor), and in the chat room he was almost always on cam and talked primarily to the women who were on cam, complimenting their physical appearance. I dismissed him almost immediately as yet another shallow man who thought with his lower head. When I met him in person at one of our chat group's events, he was completely different; he was intelligent, funny, and cared more about the emotional and intellectual connections than physical appearance and actions. But if he hadn't been at that event, I would never have known that, and I would never have met him or responded to any of his messages on the site.
When I first "met" S2, on the same site, it was through what he now says was a generic "email blast" message that he sent to women he was interested in... but it said something about "I commute with the rest of the lemmings." The lemmings reference was unique enough to get me to respond and to read his profile... and his profile was well-written, thoughtful, and intelligent. He mentioned the physical appearance he hoped to find in a partner--AFF is, after all, supposed to be primarily a sex-hookup site--but his profile was written in a way that showed how he thinks, his sense of humor, the fact that he *wasn't* only after getting laid...and a way that showed he and I think so much alike it's scary. When we finally met in person on a date, after a few weeks of communicating solely through AFF messaging, it was like getting together with an old friend you've known for decades.
Before you redo your OKC profile, think about who you ARE, not what you want. And then write something that will show other people who you are. If you go off with the only goal being finding a date-mate, you won't, because you'll get lost in the sea of men who are just looking for dates and sex. Write something that will give women a reason to CONNECT with you.
The rest of this is also just my opinion, and I realize I'm weird, but still, it's something to maybe consider.
When I read a profile, I don't actually care whether the guy's good in the sack, or has a ton of interests, or is good-looking. Seeing those kinds of things in a profile makes me think the guy is shallow and only seeking sex, and wouldn't be able to carry a conversation in a bucket. Same if a guy messages me.
I don't look for a specific physical appearance or someone who's interested in a specific thing. And I don't look for sex, though if I get involved with someone I probably hope sex will be part of it at some point. I look for someone I can click with on an intellectual basis. Someone I can make an offbeat, obscure reference to and he'll either understand it or ask me more about it, rather than getting annoyed because he has no clue what I'm talking about. Someone I would be friends with regardless of what else goes on between us.
When I first "met" Hubby on AFF, I didn't want anything to do with him. His profile was entirely focused on his physical appearance and stamina (he's a boat captain; he was a swing dance instructor and competitor), and in the chat room he was almost always on cam and talked primarily to the women who were on cam, complimenting their physical appearance. I dismissed him almost immediately as yet another shallow man who thought with his lower head. When I met him in person at one of our chat group's events, he was completely different; he was intelligent, funny, and cared more about the emotional and intellectual connections than physical appearance and actions. But if he hadn't been at that event, I would never have known that, and I would never have met him or responded to any of his messages on the site.
When I first "met" S2, on the same site, it was through what he now says was a generic "email blast" message that he sent to women he was interested in... but it said something about "I commute with the rest of the lemmings." The lemmings reference was unique enough to get me to respond and to read his profile... and his profile was well-written, thoughtful, and intelligent. He mentioned the physical appearance he hoped to find in a partner--AFF is, after all, supposed to be primarily a sex-hookup site--but his profile was written in a way that showed how he thinks, his sense of humor, the fact that he *wasn't* only after getting laid...and a way that showed he and I think so much alike it's scary. When we finally met in person on a date, after a few weeks of communicating solely through AFF messaging, it was like getting together with an old friend you've known for decades.
Before you redo your OKC profile, think about who you ARE, not what you want. And then write something that will show other people who you are. If you go off with the only goal being finding a date-mate, you won't, because you'll get lost in the sea of men who are just looking for dates and sex. Write something that will give women a reason to CONNECT with you.