PurpleSun
New member
So, I have not been here in awhile. I had finals, and a lot of other stuff going on. Anyway, I had posted about dating a mono woman who had said she accepted my being poly and we were working on it. BIG MISTAKE. She was toxic in a lot of ways. It all came out a couple of weeks ago, when my grandmother died. On the day of the funeral, like 2 hours before the service, she decided to bring up something petty about how she didn't like something I had said about her being too young to understand something. As if that couldn't have waited on such a day. That night, after the funeral, we got into a nasty fight where she actually said that my 96 year old grandfather would be next - right after we had just put my grandma in the ground.
It also turns out she lied to me about two BIG things - I'm childfree and was upfront about that. I'm also, of course, poly, and was upfront about that as well. Turns out she really, really wants kids, and doesn't actually view polyamory as a legitimate orientation or relationship style. She even said there was no point if one person cannot be your everything, and that poly people are incapable of love.
It also turns out she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I have my own mental health issues, and don't mean to stigmatize, but I've heard nothing but horror stories about people with Borderline, and she has exhibited those traits in spades since we broke up. She wants to control everything. Tonight, she left me a long message, but is refusing to respond to my response to it. In the end, I just told her I want the key to my apartment back, and I don't trust her having it. She hasn't even read the message. First, she said she wanted to be friends, then had all sorts of bizarre "Scenarios" she was asking me about, like could she kiss me and cuddle with me. She said it was "scary" when I said no. Then, she asked if I'd have sex with her. Again, I said no and she accused me of not finding her attractive. On and on, you get the picture.
Unfortunately, we still have at least one year to go to school together at the same University. There's no telling what this bitch will say or do, but I think my professors are smart enough to recognize crazy when they see it. At least I found all this out after a few months rather than a few years.
The best part is that I don't care about her at all anymore, really just sharing, and swearing off dating ANYONE who identifies as monogamous from now on, period.
It also turns out she lied to me about two BIG things - I'm childfree and was upfront about that. I'm also, of course, poly, and was upfront about that as well. Turns out she really, really wants kids, and doesn't actually view polyamory as a legitimate orientation or relationship style. She even said there was no point if one person cannot be your everything, and that poly people are incapable of love.
It also turns out she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I have my own mental health issues, and don't mean to stigmatize, but I've heard nothing but horror stories about people with Borderline, and she has exhibited those traits in spades since we broke up. She wants to control everything. Tonight, she left me a long message, but is refusing to respond to my response to it. In the end, I just told her I want the key to my apartment back, and I don't trust her having it. She hasn't even read the message. First, she said she wanted to be friends, then had all sorts of bizarre "Scenarios" she was asking me about, like could she kiss me and cuddle with me. She said it was "scary" when I said no. Then, she asked if I'd have sex with her. Again, I said no and she accused me of not finding her attractive. On and on, you get the picture.
Unfortunately, we still have at least one year to go to school together at the same University. There's no telling what this bitch will say or do, but I think my professors are smart enough to recognize crazy when they see it. At least I found all this out after a few months rather than a few years.
The best part is that I don't care about her at all anymore, really just sharing, and swearing off dating ANYONE who identifies as monogamous from now on, period.