Could you be willing to clarify? I'm not sure what some of these mean.
I think maybe I'm a little bitter. With me its responsibility of working two jobs + raising a special needs kid. When she's with him, her mom usually watches our son. There isn't the reaponsibility.
Are you saying you envy (her + him) couple time because there's no tagalong kid? Because there isn't any (you +her) couple time without a tagalong kid? Are you guys not able to get a babysitter or trade with another family so you guys get ALONE (you + her) time?
Part of me is questioning her because she decided to bring this up after I caught them in an affair.
Are you in
poly hell? How long has the V been going on? When was the cheating affair?
Are you saying that her current dating partner is her former cheating affair partner?
And you did not consent to participating in a poly V? She's calling it "polyamory" but really it is a "cheating affair out in the open?"
Or you consented at first so as not to break up and now you want to stop participating because you do not like it?
You might want to read this.
http://felislunae.org/relationships-love/coming-clean/
The relationship her and I had, romantically, before child changed drastically.
Does that mean (romance), (sex), or BOTH ( romance and sex) have changed between you since having a child?
Typical kids, much less a high needs kid, will take up a lot of time. It's not unusual for couples to struggle to figure out how to balance time spent on parenting, time spent as a family, time spent as a couple, time spent with friends, and time spent alone. How old is the child?
The insecurity I feel is that I can't provide enough. She might need more attention than I can give.
Here you seem to think that if only you provided enough attention, she'd be satisfied with you and not want/need another partner. Is that what you believe?
To me? If you choose to be in a V with her and her previous cheating partner? It isn't like poly is "cheat proof."
If you are involved with people who don't keep promises and break trust? Repairs have not yet been made? I could see not feeling safe and secure there. One simply cannot feel safe and secure when trying to poly with untrustworthy partners.
What is your desired outcome?
Galagirl