Gay, Bi-, Queer Polyamory

You can count me, but don't expect any x-mas gifts!:p

Albuquerque is two hops, three skips and fourteen jumps from me. Who is the author? Or, rather, what has he written?
 
Crud, he uses a different pen name and I can't remember what it is.

Ah! Found it. It's Grevedan Deveril.

  • 1st book: The Demon Chasers
  • 2nd book: The Light Bearers
He's hoping to add more books to the series (the Chronicles of Midhris).
 
Fantasy fiction genre?

Would you believe I've never read fantasy fiction?

I'm a different kind of nerd, I guess. I read too little fiction, as my work life requires me to read a lot of non-fiction. So when I do (rarely) read fiction it's gonna probably be classic novels or literary novels. Sigh. I'm also no fun at parties. :(
 
One of my partners is a bi guy, and my metamour is also a bi guy.
 
Yep, it's fantasy fiction.

I'm a terrible book reader in general, so anytime I finish reading a book, it's quite momentous, no matter what the genre.
 
Is that the only option - a square?

Are you sure you're ready to be a square?!:p

I'm new here so pardon me but this topic sparked something i have been thinking about for a while.
To clarify, new to the forum, new-ish to poly (three years or so out).
It seems to me that the above post implies that in that fellows triad would be exclusive; just two men and a woman. And that was the issue, the bi woman would have two men and not be fulfilled. But couldn't she, being poly also, have another woman lover who was not part of the original fellows triad? Or all all people involved considered a unit (whatever the size is)? I am bi in a V with one of each right now and they don't have much to do with each other and we are all (five months in) fine with that. But my girlfriend is looking for another playmate, when she connects with someone, does that make us a square or more of a zigzag!? Is the goal to have all partners connected as much as possible with each other? It seems all our paths are so different
 
There's no one-size-fits-all "goal" as far as configurations are concerned. You could be "a square" or "an N" and either would be just as good (all else being equal).
 
I must admit to some bewilderment. Poly gay men (and perhaps equally bi men) seem to be just extremely rare.

Now, by "poly" I mean relationship oriented poly, not sex-centered poly. (Just to be clear, since some people these days use "poly" to refer to a wide range of kinds of "relationship," many of which are far more about sex than about loving connections and real (rounded) intimacy, bonding, etc.

I am always learning of gay and bi men who like to have sex partners they are not much connected with in any kind of whole relationship sense -- casual friends with benefits (sex buddies, really -- nothing more), say, where the "friend" part is a bit of an exaggeration, or "f**kbuddies," ... whether the person is in a committed relationship or not.

Overwhelmingly most gay and bi men seem (to me) to want full-on monogamy or at least "emotional monogamy" when partnered. When not partnered they seem to want either "just sex" (no relationship) or some variety or another of monogamy.... Where are the poly gay and bi guys?

The poly world seems to have a LOT of lesbian and bi women. Right? Where are the gay and bi men?

Sorry about my very rough language here. It must be a consequence of frustration.
 
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My metamour is now also my boyfriend :D

So, in a relationship with two non-hetero men (and an hetero one).
 
The author I spoke of seems to be having his own frustrations, i.e., finding a gay/bi poly man to partner with (or at least date). He lives in Albuquerque so I don't know if that's close to your neck of the woods. Plus he is an older gentleman, 60 or in his 60's I think. But if you want I can send him an email and tell him if you're interested.

Kind of awkward because I don't want to interfere with anyone's privacy, but maybe there's a match there that I wasn't aware of before. And if so ...
 
The author I spoke of seems to be having his own frustrations, i.e., finding a gay/bi poly man to partner with (or at least date). He lives in Albuquerque so I don't know if that's close to your neck of the woods. Plus he is an older gentleman, 60 or in his 60's I think. But if you want I can send him an email and tell him if you're interested.

Kind of awkward because I don't want to interfere with anyone's privacy, but maybe there's a match there that I wasn't aware of before. And if so ...

ABQ is just down the road a bit (about an hour drive), so I'm certainly willing to say "hello" to a fellow alien. There is also a train ride possible!
 
Okay, I have sent him an email. Hopefully I'll hear back from him, with permission to give you his email address.

Possibly nothing will come of it, but I figured hey, you never know.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Okay, I have sent him an email. Hopefully I'll hear back from him, with permission to give you his email address.

Possibly nothing will come of it, but I figured hey, you never know.

Regards,
Kevin T.

Having someone local-ish to talk with can't hurt.
 
Bi women, yes. Lesbians, no. My experience is that poly lesbians are extremely rare.

Yeah. I get that. In fact, I don't even know why I threw the word lesbians in there. It was a brain glitch, most likely.
 
How about gay poly men? Are they almost as rare as lesbian poly women?

I spoke with a guy in Albuquerque today who had attended a bunch of poly gatherings and he said he didn't meet any gay poly men there.

I used to just assume that there must be lots of gay poly men, but I'm not seeing that much evidence for that view. What many or most coupled gay men do, it seems, is have sexually open relationships but agree not to get very close to their sex buddies (emotionally, or even socially or in terms of shared non-sexual recreation activities).
 
I suppose that sounds about right. Not sure what's the reason though. Being gay is hard enough in this world, so why be poly as well? That's my best guess.
 
I must admit to some bewilderment. Poly gay men (and perhaps equally bi men) seem to be just extremely rare.

Now, by "poly" I mean relationship oriented poly, not sex-centered poly. (Just to be clear, since some people these days use "poly" to refer to a wide range of kinds of "relationship," many of which are far more about sex than about loving connections and real (rounded) intimacy, bonding, etc.

I am always learning of gay and bi men who like to have sex partners they are not much connected with in any kind of whole relationship sense -- casual friends with benefits (sex buddies, really -- nothing more), say, where the "friend" part is a bit of an exaggeration, or "f**kbuddies," ... whether the person is in a committed relationship or not.

Overwhelmingly most gay and bi men seem (to me) to want full-on monogamy or at least "emotional monogamy" when partnered. When not partnered they seem to want either "just sex" (no relationship) or some variety or another of monogamy.... Where are the poly gay and bi guys?

The poly world seems to have a LOT of lesbian and bi women. Right? Where are the gay and bi men?

Sorry about my very rough language here. It must be a consequence of frustration.

Have you ever thought about moving? There are a lot of gay and bi poly guys in Seattle. I almost feel like a minority here.
 
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