WhatHappened
Active member
Ooops. Should I have told him before the sex? If it was important why didn't he ask? ....And how do you handle a rejection based solely on that when all other factors are good?
Yes, you should have told him before going out with him at all. He didn't ask because there is a (fairly reasonable) assumption that people in relationships are not out looking for dates.
A rejection based 'solely' on you being in a relationship already? This wording rather dismisses the importance of this fact. It's a MAJOR issue, given that most people want a relationship, not to be one of a harem, so to speak.
Or are you saying how to handle rejection based 'solely' on the fact that you withheld pertinent information? I'd also say withholding a major fact about what you really have to offer is not a 'solely' sort of thing. To use the word 'solely' in this context is to say it's not that big a deal, and he's begin petty.
In fact, you being in a relationship and unavailable for the type of future most people are looking for, and you withholding that major fact (ie, lying by omission) are both MAJOR issues.
I'd reject someone too based on those two things. Maybe how you should handle this rejection is to learn from it, grow from it, and resolve never again to mislead someone by leaving out pertinent information. Vital information.
If he didn't ask beforehand, yet got all bent out of shape when he did ask the next morning, I'd say, "What difference does it make now? You got what you wanted, didn't you? " I can't stand people throwing any holier-than-thou bullshit on me.
Doesn't this statement assume that all he wanted was a one night stand? Why is this holier than thou? Maybe it only occurred to him afterward that it was a possibility.