new to poly (surprise! ha!) and wondering how to negotiate

As a fellow newb, I welcome you. You've come to the right place to get answers and advice. ^.^

That's a crock of !#@#*@%(@! You can spread you Sunshine without exchanging bodily fluids with another person other than you chosen one. Spreading Sunshine means being a genuine human being who is compassionate, supportive, and have dignity and integrity with who they are and what they do. Polyamory is just an excuse to "f... around" and have approval from your Primary, Secondary, Thirdary partners. It's a pot of Bull Shit!:mad:
 
I'm really not okay with it (his seeing this girl) - not at this stage of things. He's failing to see that we need time to get on more solid ground.

Am I being selfish about it?

No! You are not being Selfish at all. You are being honest with your feelings and what you want. Don't put your needs aside for somebody else's. Only you can make yourself #1, not Primary! He is not putting your needs first, why should you? Only you are and will always been #1 to yourself!
 
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