jayblue122
Member
Recently there have been some major changes in my life.
Over the past month me and my girlfriend have broken up. I do ultimately believe that it was for the best but it's still a but painful as the loss of that relationship is fresh. We had been together for about a year and a half.
I am still with my boyfriend, together a bit over a year and a half, and over the past month I have been able to spend more of my time with him.
In the past he has had other relationships. however 8 months ago both of his other partnerships ended. So this is the first time either of us is only dating the other.
And I'm finding that I really like it. I like having so much time with each other. I like the future of being together being less complicated. I like feeling like I have time for myself without detracting from my partners. I like feeling more free and less contained by tying to mange multiple people's feelings and schedules. I like feeling like I can do things of a more serious nature without having to worry about another's feelings. These things were all things that came up in both my relationships with others but also in his. And right now I'm enjoying not having to deal with any of it.
He has expressed enjoyment of the more time together but I'm not sure how he feels about all of it.
At the same time my enjoyment of this more monogamous situation scares me a bit. I don't like monogamy but I would be open to something closer to it than the relationship anarchy I have previously practiced. How can I know if that is something I would want long term? Am I just feeling crazy from breakups?
The thought that poly might not be what I want anymore seems weird to me and I'm not sure how to figure it out. Cause I feel like that might not be the whole story.
I don't know what to do. Or what questions to ask myself to figure it out.
Over the past month me and my girlfriend have broken up. I do ultimately believe that it was for the best but it's still a but painful as the loss of that relationship is fresh. We had been together for about a year and a half.
I am still with my boyfriend, together a bit over a year and a half, and over the past month I have been able to spend more of my time with him.
In the past he has had other relationships. however 8 months ago both of his other partnerships ended. So this is the first time either of us is only dating the other.
And I'm finding that I really like it. I like having so much time with each other. I like the future of being together being less complicated. I like feeling like I have time for myself without detracting from my partners. I like feeling more free and less contained by tying to mange multiple people's feelings and schedules. I like feeling like I can do things of a more serious nature without having to worry about another's feelings. These things were all things that came up in both my relationships with others but also in his. And right now I'm enjoying not having to deal with any of it.
He has expressed enjoyment of the more time together but I'm not sure how he feels about all of it.
At the same time my enjoyment of this more monogamous situation scares me a bit. I don't like monogamy but I would be open to something closer to it than the relationship anarchy I have previously practiced. How can I know if that is something I would want long term? Am I just feeling crazy from breakups?
The thought that poly might not be what I want anymore seems weird to me and I'm not sure how to figure it out. Cause I feel like that might not be the whole story.
I don't know what to do. Or what questions to ask myself to figure it out.