To Spork and others who have had experienced
1. prolonged negativity to their poly choice by close family or friends and
2. Despite that poly relationship being seen by those people as positive in most other ways apart from the sex/romance/love with multiple partners aspect
Were these people mainstream religious? Do you feel their objection was because it wasn't a question about your morals or their morals but rather, because they felt you had violated a higher moral compass? Sorry if it's personal, just trying to see if there are common patterns to the discrimination you receive and if it's a world view thing you're fighting. Because changing someone's world view, and especially religious world view can be very difficult. I'm currently wondering if a large part of Poly nonacceptance may just be a side effect of that for some who are very fixed in their religious world view. Of course, if this is too personal, no need to answer.
Most of the people I have told who don't agree with what I've done with my life have said something along the lines of "well I guess whatever floats your boat, but I couldn't even imagine doing that."
There is that weird common thing people do where it's like they have to apply every single thing they encounter to their own life and give a quick summary judgment of it based on whether it would suit THEM, and I know I've been guilty of it too, but it's kind of weird to me sometimes. Like, everything isn't always about you, right? Don't know why that's such a pervasive human response to things, but it does seem to be.
As though being accepting of something means you've got to try it. Well no...and no one is trying to make you...so...
The very few extremely judgmental people I've encountered, it's been more about their own baggage than religion, although religious conditioning could account for some people's attitudes, I just don't have a lot of religious folks in my social spheres. The one guy I talk about who put me off, was speaking from a place where he basically scorns what he perceives to be "damaged" or experienced women, and this is because his mother was an alcoholic and an addict to hard drugs, and who knows what he saw growing up. He literally brought a "verified" virgin to the US from another country, who barely spoke a word of English, to marry her, I believe because he feels personally unsafe with anything less than pure innocence. He is also extremely condescending, especially to women. As far as things like poly and BDSM, he assumes we (women into such things) are all walking train wrecks and cannot imagine it any other way. He frankly has problems that all go back to his relationship with his mother, in my opinion and from what I know. He isn't religious, and he considers himself to be very liberal and progressive.
But my choice to part ways with him was absolutely as much a matter of me finding his attitude repellent, as it was him wanting me to never mention the "weird sex stuff" that is my involvements past and present with poly or BDSM. I will not refrain from wearing my collar around him, nor act like the best things in my life are too shameful to mention for his comfort, but you know if he were a nicer person that didn't offend my sensibilities in other ways, I might have a more conciliatory attitude than what I do.
But anyone who is
mean in the way they speak to me? Disrespectful? Family ties or no, there may come a day where a self respecting adult has to just stand up to that and realize they deserve better treatment. I would not have been ready to do something like that, until probably the last couple years of my life...all a matter of where you're at in your own path.
I certainly put up with friends of my ex who were nearly as bad or worse, before this chapter of my life began.