Lethalanelle
New member
I've been dating a married couple for about 8 months now. We were friends about the same amount of time prior. They've been together 10 years and married about 4. They've opened their marriage before but only ever casually so inviting a third into their relationship is still new and we're all learning as we go. I've never been in an open relationship before but because of my background in the kink community I seem to have the firmest foundation in knowledge about polyamoury and how to navigate these newer waters.
I'm very uncomfortable talking about my emotions but I understand the importance of communication so I make sure my discomfort doesn't get in the way. My bf is very similar in his discomfort but the only way he can feel comfortable enough to talk is through messenger, which I find easier too so I don't mind. As a result of these similarities I can sometimes give my gf some perspective as to how he may be feeling when there's an argument or disagreement because she's admitted to me she has trouble reading his emotions from his reactions. I do not however take sides or bitch as I know that's not going to help anything and leads to dangerous territory.
I was having a very open conversation with my gf the other day about our relationship and how we have been feeling and progressing emotionally in ourselves and in relation to eachother. Her and I are both far more libidinous than he is and I've assured him that it is perfectly ok with me. That it isn't uncommon and I enjoy spending time with them in all regards, sex is only one aspect of that. But I know there has been frustration between the pair of them over the differences in their libidos. She ended up telling me with some frustration that they had only had sex once since I had left the previous week (I spend 4 days or so living with them and am home for about a week on cycle) but I haven't noticed this. He and I had sex 4 or 5 times over the space of the last 3 days.
Maybe this is a result of the honeymoon phase or because I am actively more understanding but I really don't know how concerned I should be. I was wondering if anyone had any experience in similar situations. I don't want to hurt her feelings or abuse his trust but if there is an issue I don't know how much I should be discussing as a triad. I know he cares about her and her feelings so much from past discussions but I know how much impact their relationship has on mine with them.
Tldr; dating a married couple and he seems more interested in having sex with me than with her. Advice?
I'm very uncomfortable talking about my emotions but I understand the importance of communication so I make sure my discomfort doesn't get in the way. My bf is very similar in his discomfort but the only way he can feel comfortable enough to talk is through messenger, which I find easier too so I don't mind. As a result of these similarities I can sometimes give my gf some perspective as to how he may be feeling when there's an argument or disagreement because she's admitted to me she has trouble reading his emotions from his reactions. I do not however take sides or bitch as I know that's not going to help anything and leads to dangerous territory.
I was having a very open conversation with my gf the other day about our relationship and how we have been feeling and progressing emotionally in ourselves and in relation to eachother. Her and I are both far more libidinous than he is and I've assured him that it is perfectly ok with me. That it isn't uncommon and I enjoy spending time with them in all regards, sex is only one aspect of that. But I know there has been frustration between the pair of them over the differences in their libidos. She ended up telling me with some frustration that they had only had sex once since I had left the previous week (I spend 4 days or so living with them and am home for about a week on cycle) but I haven't noticed this. He and I had sex 4 or 5 times over the space of the last 3 days.
Maybe this is a result of the honeymoon phase or because I am actively more understanding but I really don't know how concerned I should be. I was wondering if anyone had any experience in similar situations. I don't want to hurt her feelings or abuse his trust but if there is an issue I don't know how much I should be discussing as a triad. I know he cares about her and her feelings so much from past discussions but I know how much impact their relationship has on mine with them.
Tldr; dating a married couple and he seems more interested in having sex with me than with her. Advice?