Thank you for your informative and detailed answer, Angelina/Karen (I'm never sure what to call you - what do you prefer?) and for not making me feel stupid for asking such a question.
Tinwen too. (I just saw your reply.)
Oh, it's definitely possible. I think most men (and women) have come to believe that it's not possible, but it is.
I've never been with a man who has experienced chronic ED to the point where erections, PIV and/or orgasm have become consistently unattainable, hence my relative ignorance on the subject. I guess I could have researched the issue for myself, but since we're talking about it I thought I'd ask the forum, as most people here are experienced, knowledgeable and eloquent.
I ask, because my partner Jester is nearing sixty and his libido is on the lower end of normal, at least in comparison to my own. He isn't always motivated to participate in sexual acts. However, he seems to be able to achieve an erection without great difficulty, and can mostly maintain it, but isn't always capable of coming. To combat this, he uses a variety of drugs - both to help with maintaining an erection AND to motivate him in terms of desiring the act itself.
I do take both his age and health/history into consideration, however it doesn't thrill me that he often (but not always) feels he needs additional "help", but I think a lot of it is mental/emotional as far as he is concerned.
For this reason, I've recently been discussing the below concept/s with him, and aim to explore these avenues at leisure next time we get together in person:
It's what Tantra is all about. You needn't follow any tradition or call it anything at all, but taking the focus off of orgasm, allowing that to just be a part of the day whether it happens or not, and exploring sexual energy is an amazing way to be sexual.
Moreover, I totally agree with this:
While we're at it, let's do away with this bogus dividing line between kink and vanilla. There are many beautiful, sensual, mind expanding and emotionally connected areas we can explore that are labeled "kink" that are left unexplored by many of us because they're reserved "for those people."
I do not "belong" to any community or scene, and never have, as I don't tend to be a "joiner". However, I believe I've always comfortably straddled the line between vanilla and kink in most of my sexual relationships. I tend towards the experimental... like to fantasise and role play... use toys and get creative with "found objects"... have always enjoyed light bondage and the like... and have recently been experimenting more with aspects of bdsm and group scenes, even if mostly in fantasy/sext, thus far.
I am definitely keen to explore less traditional m/f means of sexual connection with Jester - outside of the realms of PIV, oral and anal sex. I believe that as we all age, we could really benefit from expanding the scope of physical intimacy.