Although I have always said I will never be the reason to break up Sunshinegrl and Aussieblokes marriage, and will back away if that ever appears to be happening, (meaning I DO value that relationship above either of the relationships I have with them) I very much dislike the term primary and secondary. To me, it DOES make me feel less important. I know that's kind of contraditorary in what I just said, but I guess that's the difference between my thoughts on a locigal level and an emotional one.
I've been struggling with the 'labels' issue lately. Since I discovered the poly world and that there ARE others like us, reading the FAQ, if you will, and learning the terms, just confused me more. Feeling like I want/need the labels but not sure what I want to call them. Perhaps because I've been in a marriage for so long, the terms gf/bf seems a tad like we're all teenagers. After all, the last time I had a gf I was 18. When I've talked about them to those in my life I wish to, basically it's '... or ...' (insert name here)
So here I am, labeless, at least on my end. lol