threesaparty
New member
Hello all,
I am new to this lifestyle and community, but have been aware and accepting of polyamory for many years. I wanted to introduce myself and ask some advice on what works for you, in hopes of finding a path for myself and my partner. Polyamory is clearly not a one-size-fits-all application, and I want to reach out to others who have been in my situation to hear what's been helpful and successful.
Long and Complicated Story Short
My partner and I have recently decided to open up our 2.5 year monogamous relationship after she came to me (throughout a series of months and discussions) and asked to open our relationship. Originally, we opened to bringing someone else into our play time, but to pursue interests strictly as a couple. We approached 1-2 potential females, but never pursued them enough to make it happen (despite interests all around) mostly due to difficult scheduling. Then last week, after another man asked my partner on a date and she felt attracted to him outside of our relationship, we discussed the matter. After a lot of emotions and negotiations, we decided that we would open the relationship and structure our rules and system to mediate our needs and desires in a way that could make us both happy without compromising our love or the best relationship either of us has ever had.
I am the person who was less interested in opening up. I know many poly people that are friends, and have also read books such as the Ethical Slut and Opening Up in the past, but wasn't terribly into the idea because I am completed emotionally satisfied and fulfilled with my current relationship without the desire for anything else at the moment. However, my partner—while loving me and wishing to remain in a relationship with me— wants to pursue others sexually and friendly on occasion outside of our relationship. While I may not be as interested (although I could maybe see myself enjoying more freedom at times) I understand my partners predicament, love her, and want to continue our partnership in life without losing what I love because I am not being flexible to the vast emotional landscape that is fluid, infinite, and far beyond my own understanding.
While I am scared at times—knowing I will encounter many mixed emotions and experience jealousy, and feel anxious as I do now— I want to pursue it.
Why I need some advice
After agreeing to unlocking the door, we're now in the process of going through the groundwork of opening it up. I want to know if there are any others on the forum that have experienced something similar (where they were less interested and more emotionally grounded in one person prior), and what your journey has been like? What models do you recommend, and do you have anything you think it might be helpful for me to know? Thanks in advance!
Lost in Love,
I am new to this lifestyle and community, but have been aware and accepting of polyamory for many years. I wanted to introduce myself and ask some advice on what works for you, in hopes of finding a path for myself and my partner. Polyamory is clearly not a one-size-fits-all application, and I want to reach out to others who have been in my situation to hear what's been helpful and successful.
Long and Complicated Story Short
My partner and I have recently decided to open up our 2.5 year monogamous relationship after she came to me (throughout a series of months and discussions) and asked to open our relationship. Originally, we opened to bringing someone else into our play time, but to pursue interests strictly as a couple. We approached 1-2 potential females, but never pursued them enough to make it happen (despite interests all around) mostly due to difficult scheduling. Then last week, after another man asked my partner on a date and she felt attracted to him outside of our relationship, we discussed the matter. After a lot of emotions and negotiations, we decided that we would open the relationship and structure our rules and system to mediate our needs and desires in a way that could make us both happy without compromising our love or the best relationship either of us has ever had.
I am the person who was less interested in opening up. I know many poly people that are friends, and have also read books such as the Ethical Slut and Opening Up in the past, but wasn't terribly into the idea because I am completed emotionally satisfied and fulfilled with my current relationship without the desire for anything else at the moment. However, my partner—while loving me and wishing to remain in a relationship with me— wants to pursue others sexually and friendly on occasion outside of our relationship. While I may not be as interested (although I could maybe see myself enjoying more freedom at times) I understand my partners predicament, love her, and want to continue our partnership in life without losing what I love because I am not being flexible to the vast emotional landscape that is fluid, infinite, and far beyond my own understanding.
While I am scared at times—knowing I will encounter many mixed emotions and experience jealousy, and feel anxious as I do now— I want to pursue it.
Why I need some advice
After agreeing to unlocking the door, we're now in the process of going through the groundwork of opening it up. I want to know if there are any others on the forum that have experienced something similar (where they were less interested and more emotionally grounded in one person prior), and what your journey has been like? What models do you recommend, and do you have anything you think it might be helpful for me to know? Thanks in advance!
Lost in Love,