Norwegianpoly
New member
I wrote a little while ago about my boyfriend of two years seeming to have a depressive reaction. About the same time as his boss started to act like an ass. Also, lots of negative things happened to us this year: a close friend cheated us out of money, many of his colleagues were sacked, our cat died suddenly, he took up a big loan to pay money to not go to military. He is also getting older and his job is physically draining. He has been distant and complaining that he is "not himself".Since we are long distance, his distance on and off visits.
Finally we had a real talk. Many feelings came up. He says he is tired of me partly supporting, saying it should be 50/50. I agree, but that is not up to me - my country is richer, his job as a waiter is not wellpayed and so I make more money than him. He is unsure about poly, even if he has met and likes my husband. He is unsure about the relationship.
This is the same man who proposed to me early on, has introduced me to all his friends and family early on, is always eager to have sex with me, shares hobbies with me and so on. A boat trip we had was his best experience in years. He used to have wonderful compliments for me. We have a cat together. We share a flat where I am about one week a month.
He does say he wants to continue to meet me. My next trip to him is within a month. He says he got extremely upset when I said I lacked some things in the relationship, which I don't understand. Perhaps I worded it in a way that triggered and upset him? I want to help him, but not knowing if we have a future is very hard on me.
Our immidiate plan is to get him a work visa to my country. Possably visit his family. We agreed to not talk about the future, but focus on practical things. I see that this is wise, but at the same time, I feel like he is saying I am on probation. It hurts so much.
Does anyone have suggestion for what I can do?
Finally we had a real talk. Many feelings came up. He says he is tired of me partly supporting, saying it should be 50/50. I agree, but that is not up to me - my country is richer, his job as a waiter is not wellpayed and so I make more money than him. He is unsure about poly, even if he has met and likes my husband. He is unsure about the relationship.
This is the same man who proposed to me early on, has introduced me to all his friends and family early on, is always eager to have sex with me, shares hobbies with me and so on. A boat trip we had was his best experience in years. He used to have wonderful compliments for me. We have a cat together. We share a flat where I am about one week a month.
He does say he wants to continue to meet me. My next trip to him is within a month. He says he got extremely upset when I said I lacked some things in the relationship, which I don't understand. Perhaps I worded it in a way that triggered and upset him? I want to help him, but not knowing if we have a future is very hard on me.
Our immidiate plan is to get him a work visa to my country. Possably visit his family. We agreed to not talk about the future, but focus on practical things. I see that this is wise, but at the same time, I feel like he is saying I am on probation. It hurts so much.
Does anyone have suggestion for what I can do?
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