Hello. First, a little disclaimer: I am not posting this here to suggest that polyamists have moderate sex addiction (although I think I might have). I am posting it here because I am in an open relationship and consequently believe I'll get more insightful and open-minded advice here than in typical sex and/or gay advice forums.
I'm twenty-nine-year-old gay male and I'm in a happy open relationship with my boyfriend of almost six years. I have a high sex drive and I'm quite promiscuous, usually hook-up with at least couple of boys a week. Sometimes one-offs, sometimes semi-romantic weekend-long flings, and some develop into regulars or friendships. Always honest with my boyfriend about the boys with whom I have sex; always honest with the boys with whom I have sex about my boyfriend; always use condoms for anal. I am largely happy with these things - but have two problems.
1. Often, people who've developed into friendships decide we've become too close and say they do not want to have sex any more. Part of me blames the destructiveness of monogamous norms for making them feel this way about sex and friendship, and wants to persuade them that sex is an important and divine part of ours. Another part feels I should just respect this is this is their wish without such discussion, but I have extreme emotional difficulty with the change in dynamic. I value the friendship, but I also don't want to spend half the time I'm with them with my internal monologue asking why they won't do me. Does anyone here have any similar experiences and/or advice on developing platonic friendships with those for whom you have sexual and/or romantic feelings and/or experiences?
2. Not dissimilarly, if I'm say at a party and can't find anyone to have sex with me I'm prone to going home at best or having a midkey tantrum at worst. Not all the time, but enough of the time some people have commented on it and I think I may have a problem. I'm very keen not to be another sex-entitled man, so any experiences and advice on overcoming this would be helpful.
Once again, apologies as I realise this isn't a sex dependency forum, but I've looked at Sex Addiction UK and they're very '12 Steps, Higher Power, even ethical promiscuity isn't okay', so thought I'd try my luck here.
I'm twenty-nine-year-old gay male and I'm in a happy open relationship with my boyfriend of almost six years. I have a high sex drive and I'm quite promiscuous, usually hook-up with at least couple of boys a week. Sometimes one-offs, sometimes semi-romantic weekend-long flings, and some develop into regulars or friendships. Always honest with my boyfriend about the boys with whom I have sex; always honest with the boys with whom I have sex about my boyfriend; always use condoms for anal. I am largely happy with these things - but have two problems.
1. Often, people who've developed into friendships decide we've become too close and say they do not want to have sex any more. Part of me blames the destructiveness of monogamous norms for making them feel this way about sex and friendship, and wants to persuade them that sex is an important and divine part of ours. Another part feels I should just respect this is this is their wish without such discussion, but I have extreme emotional difficulty with the change in dynamic. I value the friendship, but I also don't want to spend half the time I'm with them with my internal monologue asking why they won't do me. Does anyone here have any similar experiences and/or advice on developing platonic friendships with those for whom you have sexual and/or romantic feelings and/or experiences?
2. Not dissimilarly, if I'm say at a party and can't find anyone to have sex with me I'm prone to going home at best or having a midkey tantrum at worst. Not all the time, but enough of the time some people have commented on it and I think I may have a problem. I'm very keen not to be another sex-entitled man, so any experiences and advice on overcoming this would be helpful.
Once again, apologies as I realise this isn't a sex dependency forum, but I've looked at Sex Addiction UK and they're very '12 Steps, Higher Power, even ethical promiscuity isn't okay', so thought I'd try my luck here.