New to a poly relationship, could use some advice

TheJelliefish

New member
Hi all,
I’m not entirely sure I’m poly myself but am part of a poly relationship. Partner also got with someone else around same time as me, sees him quite a lot, however I am lucky if I see her once a fortnight... I’m really struggling with jealousy at the moment, really want to spend more time with her but she’s always busy �� any advice you think would be helpful?
Thanks in advance
 
Last edited:
Talk to her openly and clearly about your feelings and needs. It will help if you have some actionable examples in mind. "I would like this to happen" "I need us to meet at least once a week. Let us tentatively plan on a default day" etc
 
Hi TheJelliefish,

It sounds like your partner isn't seeing you as often as you need her to. Once a fortnight isn't very often. If she is unwilling/unable to see you more often than that, you might need to reconsider the relationship as a whole. Though I hope it doesn't come to that ...

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Thanks

Thanks guys... we have talked and she seemed to understand but gone straight back to how it was, I am having a think about the relationship but currently not sure we can make it work :(
 
Sorry to hear that; I hope you can make it work.
 
we have talked and she seemed to understand
Perhaps you didn't express yourself clearly. What did you actually say to her when you talked? Was it a nebulous "We don't see each other enough" (and leave her to join the dots), or a more concrete "I want to see you at least once a week. How does Thursdays sound?" The latter is more difficult to misunderstand.
 
I'm sorry you struggle.

If you basically want to see your dating partner X times a week, and they only can see you once every two weeks? You guys are not compatible.

Even if practicing a mono thing? It is still not compatible in terms of how often to see each other. Just because it is in a poly thing makes it no different.

If it's not enough quality time spent together to make it worth your while? It's just not enough time. If that's all the time she has to give and cannot do more? You've hit a limitation.

You could let this one go. Things don't line up. Not everyone you date will line up.

Galagirl
 
Back
Top