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Old 02-23-2018, 02:33 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by Lovinghusbandforever View Post
So a few months back my wife came home after a girls night out with a couple of her co-workers. She was a little tipsy and mentioned that she might have a little more than a crush on one of them. She then started to talk about possibly having her come home after the next girls night out. Being a man, I thought about how this is a rare opportunity that I shouldn't let slip by. So I tell her to look into it further.

As the next couple of weeks go by, I periodically checked in with her on the status of the situation. It was starting to sound like it was going to happen. I had no idea of how to prepare for something like this. I didn't research the possible outcomes of a scenario like this one. My only concern at this point was emotions getting involved. They were already involved. I was too blind to realize it.
I skimmed the answers but didn't see anyone point this out.

You saw a chance for a hot threesome. But the girlfriend was supposed to be just a sex toy for you to fulfill the (supposedly) typical male fantasy of seeing two women together. She wasn't supposed to have feelings. Or inspire feelings. Or have feelings returned to her. Or get in the way of your life.

She was just supposed to be a fun few erotic threesome nights with your wife.

Your mindset from the start was one of using another person to fulfill a sexual fantasy.

That said, your wife is also at fault here. It's borderline insane to move a person in, three months into a relationship. It's full blown there aren't even words for it insanity to want a tattoo with someone's name on such a short relationship and downright demented to move crowd four more people and three more animals into a house already packed to the gills.

Where are all these kids sleeping? Are you, wife, and GF all sharing a bedroom?

Honestly--I don't see any good answers here. Somebody is going to get hurt. You both let a genie out of a bottle in order to fulfill your sexual desires for this woman and your wife is right--nothing is ever going to be the same.

If the GF stays...if your wife prefers her...you're going to be hurt. Your children are almost certainly going to suffer a broken marriage or a strained and tense one.

If the two of you remove the GF to save the marriage, she is justifiably going to feel hurt, and likely resentful at being treated as disposable, as a fun little try at a new hobby, like golf, that, oops, didn't work, so let's just drop the used golf clubs off at goodwill and get back to our own lives.

Gala is right in saying you need to think about the outcome you want...but I think that question doesn't go far enough. It focuses on you, you, you. It ignores the fact that the two of you brought someone else into this and maybe you should also be considering the consequences of all of this to her.
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Old 02-24-2018, 03:24 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Many many great posts here from fantastic experienced women. Drink it all in, lovinghusband. They are telling the truth.

I will just add one thing that hasn't been directly addressed. The gf just got out of a long term abusive relationship. She's reeling from that. She tried to go live with her addict father! That brought up more terrible feelings.

She is NOT in good shape for a new relationship. She is in rebound mode. There is a good chance she is using both of you just for emotional and financial support.

She and your wife are not "in love." They are infatuated (at least your wife is, gf might just be a user). This is new relationship energy, NRE. Gf really lucked out finding a bi-curious woman with a horny husband intent on a sexual threesome. From here it looks like she chose your wife for the financial benefits and the horny husband she could seduce, then reject sexually while keeping him hoping for more sex, so that he will financially support her. You got 2 or 3 sexual threesomes out of it, and now you're hanging on in hopes of more. And shelling out $ for her food and board (for her and 3 kids, no less, not to mention pet food), and a piece of your land for her to put a camper on. And you're in a tiny house, with barely room for 2 adults, 3 kids and a bunch of pets already.

Until this camper materialises, where is everyone sleeping? 6 kids in an "office space?" How old are the kids? I hope none are adolescents or preteens.

All 3 adults in one bed? Are the ladies having sex beside you, in which you are not allowed to join? When do you get private time/sex with your wife? Or do you not get any at all right now?

How is any of this good and healthy? Sure, it's great the kids have new friends... But come on!

Your wife is insane to imagine getting matching "forever" tattoos with her gf after 3 months. Who does that kind of thing?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63)
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's bf since April 2013
BigGuy (poly, M, married, 43, dating me since June 2018)
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