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SmallvilleKS

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Hello everyone. We're going to be looking around this site to see if its something we're going to like. Tried a few already and they ended up just being awful.

My wife and I are still unsure if we really are poly. We did have a really close friend of our for about a year but we found out she was just using the relationship to get attention from other friends and we quickly ended it. It hurt us for a long time.

Recently we were talking and this subject got brought up and we both seem that we are still intrusted in trying to find another speical person.

We will most likely not post our real names or location due to my job. I work in emergency services (fire, ems, animal control) in a very small town in kansas that is just barely better than yhe town from footloose lol. No joke a person from the trash department was fired for saying "fuck off" to a resident that claimed that he ran over his trash can and followed them for blocks screaming at them....and it turns out he didnt even put his tash out that. day.

We look forward to reading post and hopefully making friends.
 
Hey Smallville (and his wife), welcome!

No need to post your real name. I think few if any of us do. This is meant to be a completely anonymous board, since polyamory is new and many of us aren't completely "out" to our real life communities because of fear of job loss, social ostrasicisation and the like.

One push back you might find here, and in the poly community at large, is the idea of couple dating. It's a holdover from monogamy. Most experienced polys, even if coupled, date independently. it is rare, nearly non existent, for a couple to find one person who they both like, love, are physically attracted to, and who is equally attracted to both members of the couple.

Even if you seem to find one woman to "share," it usually happens that once the NRE has worn off, the unicorn is more attracted and simpatico with one member of the couple. This can lead to more jealousy and hurt feelings. It's good to foster independence within the couple. You are never both looking for the exact same qualities in a lover.

Read the article, So Someone Called You a Unicorn Hunter?

http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html
 
Greetings SmallvilleKS,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sorry to hear your previous experience with poly was less than great. Hopefully you will have better luck in the future. And I kind of gather you had bad luck with poly forums in the past? If so, I hope you'll find this one more agreeable. Let us know of your thoughts, questions, and concerns.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi Smallville - Welcome to the Forum! And have you seen the Kents lately. :)
There are lots of experienced polyfolks here that are usually helpful and friendly with lots of experience and advice.

In regard to anonymity and couple dating - what Magdlyn said...

Best of luck on your poly journey! Al
 
We've heard the term unicorn hunter before and we're not hunting at the moment lol. We're just wanting to explore this side of life and see how other people are are handling things. We did enjoy our experience with poly until we found out what was actually going on. We haven't talked with anyone yet but that will most likely change when we get on here more often.
 
Sounds good to me.
 
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