New here, excited to learn more

MelissaS

New member
Hi, I'm not versed on the exact terminology yet so bear with me. I've been reading the site for about a week now. I'm 35, and have been married to my husband for 14 years. My husband and I were in the swing lifestyle for a few years but we always felt like we were looking for more than a cold hookup. We've made some great true friends along the way though. We met a couple at a swingers party last year, and we decided to go out and see how we all clicked. Well, from the first date, we knew we felt something more than swinging usually entails. We were all seeking more of a relationship. We continued seeing each other and we've formed a poly relationship. We are all friends and we have romantic relationships too. The men do not have a sexual relationship with each other, but are good friends. We consider our group of 4 to be a closed group for now, we still have lots of building to do before we consider adding anyone to our little family. We go out together as a group, we spend family time with our kids, but we keep the relationship strictly as a friendship in front of them for now. They aren't old enough to understand anything else right now. We have a great time when we go out as adults, we all go to dinner or drinks or whatever, then we go to separate rooms for the night. Me with the other husband and my husband with the other wife. It's been easy and drama free. We are all falling for each other and that's been different but mostly totally natural. We seem to be life long friends that have been looking for each other. We have had family meetings if issues come up, and we've dealt with them. I'm looking forward to where this relationship takes us in the future. I think our open communication has already given us a good start!
 
Welcome to the forums, Mellissa, and congratulations on your new Quad.

I'm new here myself, but if the going gets tough, there are a lot of very experienced polyamorists on these forums to help you through.

You may be interested in seeing how others have managed Quads before. From my reading, the potential highs for Quads are very high but the lows can also be very low. Given how many separate relationships there are, there is often a high potential for one of these links to break and that one break can cause ripples or shockwaves elsewhere. Not trying to be negative, but being prepared may be your thing and if so, there's plenty of stories or blogs here about Quads and common problems experienced.

Good luck,
Shaya.
 
Thank you for the reply

We definitely have a lot of reading & learning to do! We know we will have ups and downs, but so far, we are all doing well at addressing questions or concerns as they come up. We will have questions or need advice I'm sure, and I'm thankful we found a place to come for support!
 
Hi Melissa.
I am new here too so thought I would say hello.
It sounds like things are going really well for the four of you.
 
Hi MelissaS, Welcome to the Forum. I've only been here a few months but have found most folks here​ to be friendly and helpful - lots of sound advice and solid info. Your situation sounds quite interesting - good luck on your journey!

Al
 
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Hi. I'm new here also. But you already know this. Yes the swinging was fun but it was very cold. The last couple of months have been very exciting and this is totally what I have been looking for. Very excited to see where this goes.
 
Greetings MelissaS (and Jandm2152003),
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Poly units often emerge from swinging, quads in particular, and I've seen it go quite well in the past. It's great that you guys are communicating, and so far you seem to have a wonderful relationship with each other, which I am glad to hear. Let us know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi Melissa! Glad that things are working out so well for the 4 of you. I am in a quad myself.
 
Hi

Thank you! I got your friends request, it'll be nice to have someone in a quad to ask questions of, if you don't mind. 😊
 
Welcome to the forum!!!! I'm Lea, great to have you here :)
 
hello everyone

I'm Kevin and i am the other husband and Boyfriend to my beautiful Melissa and as she said we are very new and not completely up to speed on all the terminology, but i think we are loving and learning fast. i honestly believe we are doing great we have had a few bump on this road but we have done great about dealing with them and understanding everyone's feelings along the way. i know we are all looking forward to reading more of your post and stories and getting input on our daily walk into this wonderful life we have started together!
 
Hi! I'm Lori, the wife to Kevin, girlfriend to James and sexy bestie to Melissa. I am excited about joining the group and learning about what is in store for our fabulous quad.
 
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