Amarna
New member
Hello all! It's been awhile since I last logged in here but I've got a situation and could use some suggestions.
My husband will be meeting my partner of 4 months in a few days. My partner is also bringing along another partner of his for me to meet. We've planned a double coffee date thing at a cafe we all like. No expectations other than friendly conversation and a meet and greet. My husband was the one to ask to meet my partner and then partner's girlfriend wanted to meet me so he asked if she could come along and I saw no reason not to. I told my husband that she'd probably be there too and that's when he started feeling unsure.
My husband is now very nervous about the meeting and keeps saying things like "He'll (my partner) have two people on his side and I'll be outnumbered." :/ The intention was not to outnumber my husband, that never even occurred to me while we were planning things. I'll be arriving and leaving with my husband and my partner is arriving and leaving with his girlfriend. I'm not expecting a confrontation so am not sure of why there is a need for "sides". Is there a way I can help my husband to feel more confident going into this? Something I can do to offer reassurance?
I've asked him why he feels this way and all he tells me is "I just do." Or "Because he'll have two people there and I'll have no one." I've reassured him that I'm there with him, that I'll support him, he won't be alone and that no one is going to team up against him or anything. I didn't say this to my husband because I didn't want to minimize his feelings but I'm not sure where this animosity or fear of animosity is coming from as neither my partner nor his girlfriend have ever met my husband or done anything to warrant the reaction my husband is having. He's refusing to talk to me about how he's feeling or why and now simply wants to shut the meeting down altogether.
This is the first time my husband and I have met other partners which I'm sure is feeding into insecurities here, I want to rectify the situation if I can as it took so long to arrange and I'm not sure when the stars will align for childcare and everyone's schedules lining up again.
My husband will be meeting my partner of 4 months in a few days. My partner is also bringing along another partner of his for me to meet. We've planned a double coffee date thing at a cafe we all like. No expectations other than friendly conversation and a meet and greet. My husband was the one to ask to meet my partner and then partner's girlfriend wanted to meet me so he asked if she could come along and I saw no reason not to. I told my husband that she'd probably be there too and that's when he started feeling unsure.
My husband is now very nervous about the meeting and keeps saying things like "He'll (my partner) have two people on his side and I'll be outnumbered." :/ The intention was not to outnumber my husband, that never even occurred to me while we were planning things. I'll be arriving and leaving with my husband and my partner is arriving and leaving with his girlfriend. I'm not expecting a confrontation so am not sure of why there is a need for "sides". Is there a way I can help my husband to feel more confident going into this? Something I can do to offer reassurance?
I've asked him why he feels this way and all he tells me is "I just do." Or "Because he'll have two people there and I'll have no one." I've reassured him that I'm there with him, that I'll support him, he won't be alone and that no one is going to team up against him or anything. I didn't say this to my husband because I didn't want to minimize his feelings but I'm not sure where this animosity or fear of animosity is coming from as neither my partner nor his girlfriend have ever met my husband or done anything to warrant the reaction my husband is having. He's refusing to talk to me about how he's feeling or why and now simply wants to shut the meeting down altogether.
This is the first time my husband and I have met other partners which I'm sure is feeding into insecurities here, I want to rectify the situation if I can as it took so long to arrange and I'm not sure when the stars will align for childcare and everyone's schedules lining up again.
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