I had a similar impression when I first came around this forum - that breaking up is suggested very easily. However, in time I came to understand why.
- (...)
- Second, the values of voluntary participation in relationships, of consent, of independence and personal responsibility are deeply ingrained in the basic philosophy of polyamory. "I’d rather be involved with a person who wants to be with me than a person who needs to be with me; the people who want to be with me are there because of the value I add to their lives, not because they have no other choice!" sais the famous more than two webside, and this thought is re-iterated over and over in various contexts*. People who are drawn to polyamory will generally value their own freedom of choice very highly, and put the well-being of the individual above the longevity of the relationship. They will resonate with the thought that we create our own lives rather than being victims of circumstance. They will be exactly the kind of person who (if possible) will maintain some financial independence even if happily married, not because they don't trust their partner, but because they feel it's their responsibility to be able to take care of themselves and their kids and be able to react even if everything goes very wrong. Seeing your participation in a relationship as a choice you make over and over again is perfectly in line with that.
Economic dependence of partners brings some hard to deal with problems with consent.
...
*This is not meant to be cruel. Of course, partners will need us, in sickness, for childcare, or in various other ways, and I do realize sometimes marriage is an economic necessity. On the webpage, the original citation refers to the ideal of being able to validate yourself.