why use one word ?
why say you are poly anything as a single explain everything, ... that now the rest of the world has to learn about, adapt to, learn what the word means, and get some clear idea so they can see how it's different from the multitude of other words.
why use one new word to define your everything in a world where people may not even be interested in wanting to know because of what that word is associated with and how that association already has a predefined meaning in their head
if you are commited to more than 1, there is polygamy
except polygamy has 2 problems, no one wants to accept it's not religious, so they promote that continued myth, and depending on what part of the world your background is from, people will relate polygamy to a particular religeon (mormon or muslim) and think that explains what polygamy is.
that's not polygamy (not technically), but it's the media influence and people perpetuating ignorance about it, no one is interested in educating themselves or others, ... well not no one, i've been argued at rather severly when i try to inform people it's different from what they want to imagine, ... oddly those outside the poly community seem more keen on listening, those in the poly community are the most bitter and stubborn about it, ... wait, little exception on polygamy, the most bitter are the women who have escaped abusive patriarchal husbands/families that practice polygamy, (these are also the only people that have every right to be bitter about it)
---
so you want to say you are commited and have recreational sex, ... but you want 1 word, a new word, a created word combining latin, greek, & english in some new way and new manner to come up with something that uniquely defines your 'youness'
if you have multiple primary partners, ... depending on expectation of how long you want these to last, long term or short term (but they are still primaries to you), polygamy seems the accepted long term, polyamory (at it's meaning - different from the practice) is the accepted short term
you have recreational sex on the side, (while i'm not too familiar with the deep workings of this, it's just my understanding of someone outside looking in), "swinger"
so you are polygamous/polyamorous and a swinger
why do you need one word ?
each one describes a particular aspect of your life, ... and if your life changes in any way, you can change the affected term to something that is more accurate and descriptive to your new outlook
---
people outside of polyamory already have given poly rigid meaning, we're cheaters, we're people who sleep around, we're people who don't have deep commited feelings for those in our lives.
the strangest part, within the poly community, no one cares that this is what poly is turning into, we (inside) are arguing for acceptance of differences of relationship orientation, and arguing the acceptace for these differences within the community, ... and doing nothing to help those outside the community change their views.
those outside the community, (like the same path i learned) there's a multitude of terms, there's a multitude of meanings, there's a multitude of differences, ... do you know what's easier ???
it's easier to one day wake up say "screw it, one meaning, they sleep around", and at the heart of it, no matter the dynamic, that's true on some level, ... if we have 2 partners, if we have 20 regular partners and no casual encounters outside of that, we sleep around, ... we sleep with more than one person, so we sleep around,
that person outside, instead of commit themselves to a collage level course in the intensity of study required to learn all the terms and dynamics, is going to simplify it and say "ah ha, finally i get it"
and those people inside the community are so busy coming up with new words and terms and meanings and defending themselves against those who are sick of how this is slowly turning into "free love" haven't spent time correcting the public because the public doesn't care to know.
it goes back to you can call yourself whatever you want, want to be known as something special and unique to say how grand you are and all you do, and that person outside doesn't give a damn in the slightest, they care about one thing "where do i fit into this"
and while the person outside is wondering "where do i fit into this?" you're busy arguing your need to be accepted among others who are similar to you, so you can be recognized at how special you are by some new twist on some new term you came up with to describe exactly how it fits you, and so that others will respect it.
soooo, ... "just saying"
you want to get busy finding some word that best fits a multitude of different things together, ... did you spend a moment realizing what you are asking ?
"vegitables" does not describe potatoes different from carrots, different from cucumbers, different from ... it's a vague term that boils down to parents arguing with their kids 'eat your vegitables!"
when writing a grocery list, we don't add "vegitables" as "this is exactly what i want & need to get from the grocery store" and we don't create new words to say "i need to get HALICUALUDAM" to mean potatoes, onions, carrots, celery. we simply say what we need to get, and we are specific about it. ... the only exceptions are if we are after something more specific, "red onions" because they are different from green onions, and different from shallots, and different from white onions, or sweet onions, ... different flavors, almost as vastly different as carrots are from potatoes, yet russet potatoes are different from yellow potatoes, different from sweet potatoes or yams.
and for certain we don't say halicualudam, nor do we write down vegitables and expect our spouse (or whoever is getting groceries if it's not us) to understand what we are getting.
so our grocery list will say carrots & potatoes & celery, and may omit onions because we already have several at home.
and you want to say you need a particular word for primary + recreational sex ???
your kids don't have to like mushrooms, but they know exactly what a mushroom is, even if they don't know there are dozens of different varieties.
---
why can't you say you are polyamorous and a swinger ?
people can think "oh poly, he/she sleeps around", but then they have that moment of "wait, if poly = swinger, why say both as if they are separate, unique and different?"
so you're poly, it means so many different things it might as well just be 4 random but pronoucable letters, and anyone you tell, you also have to give a whole story about what it means to you in your practice of it.
but if you said polygamy and swinger, ... you can say it's not religious, and they either have a curiosity to want to know "wait, i thought i knew what that meant, i guess i was wrong, so tell me what it means" or they walk away.
and at no point did you give a vague description of yourself, you said accurately, concisely, with words that they already understood (or 90% they understood)
do you really need a word to say it all that you also have to describe it's meaning, or is there something wrong with using words they already understand, even if you have to use 2 ???
why say you are poly anything as a single explain everything, ... that now the rest of the world has to learn about, adapt to, learn what the word means, and get some clear idea so they can see how it's different from the multitude of other words.
why use one new word to define your everything in a world where people may not even be interested in wanting to know because of what that word is associated with and how that association already has a predefined meaning in their head
if you are commited to more than 1, there is polygamy
except polygamy has 2 problems, no one wants to accept it's not religious, so they promote that continued myth, and depending on what part of the world your background is from, people will relate polygamy to a particular religeon (mormon or muslim) and think that explains what polygamy is.
that's not polygamy (not technically), but it's the media influence and people perpetuating ignorance about it, no one is interested in educating themselves or others, ... well not no one, i've been argued at rather severly when i try to inform people it's different from what they want to imagine, ... oddly those outside the poly community seem more keen on listening, those in the poly community are the most bitter and stubborn about it, ... wait, little exception on polygamy, the most bitter are the women who have escaped abusive patriarchal husbands/families that practice polygamy, (these are also the only people that have every right to be bitter about it)
---
so you want to say you are commited and have recreational sex, ... but you want 1 word, a new word, a created word combining latin, greek, & english in some new way and new manner to come up with something that uniquely defines your 'youness'
if you have multiple primary partners, ... depending on expectation of how long you want these to last, long term or short term (but they are still primaries to you), polygamy seems the accepted long term, polyamory (at it's meaning - different from the practice) is the accepted short term
you have recreational sex on the side, (while i'm not too familiar with the deep workings of this, it's just my understanding of someone outside looking in), "swinger"
so you are polygamous/polyamorous and a swinger
why do you need one word ?
each one describes a particular aspect of your life, ... and if your life changes in any way, you can change the affected term to something that is more accurate and descriptive to your new outlook
---
people outside of polyamory already have given poly rigid meaning, we're cheaters, we're people who sleep around, we're people who don't have deep commited feelings for those in our lives.
the strangest part, within the poly community, no one cares that this is what poly is turning into, we (inside) are arguing for acceptance of differences of relationship orientation, and arguing the acceptace for these differences within the community, ... and doing nothing to help those outside the community change their views.
those outside the community, (like the same path i learned) there's a multitude of terms, there's a multitude of meanings, there's a multitude of differences, ... do you know what's easier ???
it's easier to one day wake up say "screw it, one meaning, they sleep around", and at the heart of it, no matter the dynamic, that's true on some level, ... if we have 2 partners, if we have 20 regular partners and no casual encounters outside of that, we sleep around, ... we sleep with more than one person, so we sleep around,
that person outside, instead of commit themselves to a collage level course in the intensity of study required to learn all the terms and dynamics, is going to simplify it and say "ah ha, finally i get it"
and those people inside the community are so busy coming up with new words and terms and meanings and defending themselves against those who are sick of how this is slowly turning into "free love" haven't spent time correcting the public because the public doesn't care to know.
it goes back to you can call yourself whatever you want, want to be known as something special and unique to say how grand you are and all you do, and that person outside doesn't give a damn in the slightest, they care about one thing "where do i fit into this"
and while the person outside is wondering "where do i fit into this?" you're busy arguing your need to be accepted among others who are similar to you, so you can be recognized at how special you are by some new twist on some new term you came up with to describe exactly how it fits you, and so that others will respect it.
soooo, ... "just saying"
you want to get busy finding some word that best fits a multitude of different things together, ... did you spend a moment realizing what you are asking ?
"vegitables" does not describe potatoes different from carrots, different from cucumbers, different from ... it's a vague term that boils down to parents arguing with their kids 'eat your vegitables!"
when writing a grocery list, we don't add "vegitables" as "this is exactly what i want & need to get from the grocery store" and we don't create new words to say "i need to get HALICUALUDAM" to mean potatoes, onions, carrots, celery. we simply say what we need to get, and we are specific about it. ... the only exceptions are if we are after something more specific, "red onions" because they are different from green onions, and different from shallots, and different from white onions, or sweet onions, ... different flavors, almost as vastly different as carrots are from potatoes, yet russet potatoes are different from yellow potatoes, different from sweet potatoes or yams.
and for certain we don't say halicualudam, nor do we write down vegitables and expect our spouse (or whoever is getting groceries if it's not us) to understand what we are getting.
so our grocery list will say carrots & potatoes & celery, and may omit onions because we already have several at home.
and you want to say you need a particular word for primary + recreational sex ???
your kids don't have to like mushrooms, but they know exactly what a mushroom is, even if they don't know there are dozens of different varieties.
---
why can't you say you are polyamorous and a swinger ?
people can think "oh poly, he/she sleeps around", but then they have that moment of "wait, if poly = swinger, why say both as if they are separate, unique and different?"
so you're poly, it means so many different things it might as well just be 4 random but pronoucable letters, and anyone you tell, you also have to give a whole story about what it means to you in your practice of it.
but if you said polygamy and swinger, ... you can say it's not religious, and they either have a curiosity to want to know "wait, i thought i knew what that meant, i guess i was wrong, so tell me what it means" or they walk away.
and at no point did you give a vague description of yourself, you said accurately, concisely, with words that they already understood (or 90% they understood)
do you really need a word to say it all that you also have to describe it's meaning, or is there something wrong with using words they already understand, even if you have to use 2 ???