C
Ceoli
Guest
I've heard it said that the word "sacred" has some etymological connection with the word "sacrum" -- which is obviously a region of the body closely associated with sex. Perhaps we should treat sex as sacred?
For me it would seriously depend on what your definition of sacred is in this context. The idea of sex being of value only if it's sacred has been the cause of much sexual repression in many societies.
For me, healthy sex is self-and-other honoring, first of all. Generally, it will include genuine affection toward one's partner/s. As a general rule, healthy sex is an expression and experience of affection, kindness, tenderness, warmth, love.... But isn't this also the basis of all healthy relating?
I think a lot of "casual sex," which is considered by many to be a form of casual recreation, amounts to an self and other dishonoring activity -- because there is no genuine affection, kindness, warmth or tenderness involved in it.
These words may strike some people as "sex negative". But I do not believe it to be so. Sex is powerful, and therefore deserves a kind of proportional respect, in relation to this power.
I'm going to disagree that kindness, tenderness, warmth, and love are necessary requirements for two people to have healthy sexual relations. They are probably good requirements for a healthy relationship, but that's not the same thing. Sex is certainly a wonderful component of a healthy loving romantic relationship, and in this context, those elements are probably good things to have in the foundation of it. However, I've known plenty of people who have healthy sexual relations without all of that. Particularly within a BDSM context.
While it may be necessary for you to have kindness, tenderness, warmth and love for your own sexual relations to be healthy for you, it doesn't mean that those are objective requirements for healthy sexual relations in general. I realize that you did qualify those statements with "for me", but I do find it important to clarify that it doesn't inherently make one way of relating more valuable than other way objectively.
However, one common element that I've certainly seen is respect, both for one's self and for one's partner. Using the word honor can certainly also mean the same thing.
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