Prostitutes and/or One Night Stands

We've already been on a tour of the district and talked to a former girl who worked here. I'm not uncomfortable with this district. If he does it, I'm not going to judge him as choosing a bad decision. I have no problems with this profession (as long as it's by choice).

I will either go out on my own or stay home and read. The hotel upgraded our room and I'm looking forward to a bath!

I'm not asking whether or not it's ethical (though I appreciate the discussion on opinions). I was just wondering if people had similar experiences or thoughts about entering poly this way.
 
If its OK to discuss prostitution more generally here...

I see a gender bias. Not all hookers are women. Many are gay men, many are transwomen, a few are transmen.

There is a HUGE fetish market out there for men who want to be with a "chick with a dick." Sadly, in our culture, many, if not most, transwomen can't get ordinary jobs, and turn to fetish photography, videos, or outright hooking.

When my gf was living as a man (she's now transitioned), she was a sex worker for a while. She'd go over to men's houses to clean them, or to fix their computers, and she'd get extra money to "have sex," which often consisted of a mere fetish. One guy was into diapers. They'd sit on the couch and watch TV and chat, w diapers on. One man in a wheelchair couldnt get a partner the usual way, and he had a spanking fetish, so my gf would lie across his lap and get a spanking (which she enjoyed).

It was good money, she had fun, so it was all win-win.

Many prostitutes enjoy their work. In ancient, pre-patriarchal days, sex workers were called holy ones, and had sex with devotees of their diety, as a representative of the Goddess. Prostitutes, to this day, can be considered sexual healers for broken people who can't get "sexual intimacy" any other way. A young soldier far overseas, missing home and girlfriend and plain old touching and comfort after all the trauma of battle, who can blame him for seeking an hour or so with a warm welcoming body?

Of course, in the US, many sex workers are addicted to drugs, and abused by their pimps. Regulation and affordable health care is the way to go.
 
Well. I let him go! He just left. I'm drawing a bath right now. I feel good about it. We talked for so long about it these past few weeks and he went over and beyond in effort to make sure it was okay with me. I'm 100% sure he would have stayed home if I asked him to.
 
You guys have certainly done the hard work to get where you are right now, it sounds to me like you're in a really positive, trusting, patient, communicative, and loving place in your relationship. Just where you need to be for any of this to work. :)
 
Yayyy !! I think you two have done well so far, as to be honest about desires, and differences. I also congratulate you both, on trying something, and being genuine with your worries and concerns.

At this point, since he went, I would only suggest that however it turns out ;
- Lots of fun.
Or
- Over-hyped and boring,

... that you chalk everything up to a learning lesson, and let it sit with you awhile, before you move forward in any direction.


I think it`s fantastic that prostitution is legal there. That the women are able to be educated about keeping their bodies healthy, and how to look after themselves with testing, and routine care.
If you are encouraged to treat your body like a prized possession, then you can engage in using your body as a means of making money like any prized fighter, athlete, sculptor, or blue collar worker does.



and dinged ?....For that comment,..you owe me $50.00. Cash please. :)
 
Too bad your question got overshadowed by a debate about the good or bad of prostitution, when you specifically stated that is not what you were looking for in this thread.

I think it's a good thing you let him go. It is no different than if he asked a friend for NSA sex and took her out to dinner in exchange for it. Difference here is the hooker is unknown and you're giving cash, not a meal. I think putting a control around it is a good way to test how you feel about it. Seems you feel pretty good, and I imagine he'll be pretty excited when he gets back to your hotel room!
 
Too bad your question got overshadowed by a debate about the good or bad of prostitution, when you specifically stated that is not what you were looking for in this thread.

I don't think the concerns I raised were entirely out of line, though the discussion probably went on too long. Occupational hazard, on my part.

Sorry about that.

As for what Vanille was looking for, she explicitly did not want

the hate for prostitutes

I opened my first comment by saying it wasn't an issue of "hate for prostitutes", but qualms about prostitution itself.

One of her questions was:

Do you think this might be an easier way to first experience poly?

My response was only a little to the side of that, questioning one of the assumptions built into the question: that the only relevant consideration is whether this is "easier" than other routes.

There are many easy routes to various goals about which there might be legitimate ethical concerns.

I'll shut the heck up, now.
 
Wow! I cant wait to hear what happens next !!

If there was a slot to put money in, to hear the next part of the story, I would ! lol!
 
Well .. He came home. First of all, he said I could post this. I won't go into too much detail. Needless to say, he got con'ed It was something we could laugh about though, and that's a great sign I think.

He's actually going out one more time. He asked what I thought and offered to stay. But I really did want him to have a good time. Honestly, I won't be surprised if he gets con'ed again, but it's his money (I'm don't work at the moment) and we leave tomorrow morning.

(he paid €50 for 5-10 minutes of head, when he thought it was for head and sex)
 
By the way, I love a good debate, Hyper. I don't mind people sharing their opinions on prostitution here. All I was trying to get across was that I am not interested in changing my opinions on prostitution. I enjoy reading everyone's point of view.

Yeah haha. A referral would be nice.

To top things off, I'm pretty damn sick. I considered "shopping" with him, but it's too damn cold and I'm too sick. I just wish he'd come home so I can finally get some sleep. I can't sleep knowing he's out there.
 
Yeah, I didn't see the debate as a problem... as long as it's related and not ugly, we generally like a little debate around here. I'm glad you felt the same, Vanille.

I guess at least we know now that 7.5 minutes of another woman giving your husband head doesn't immediately make you break down in tears. :) That's something, ja?
 
... he paid €50 for 5-10 minutes of head ...

Hey, fifty Euros for giving head ain't bad. I wonder what happens if the guy doesn't cum within ten minutes. Some take forever. I guess she'd ask for more money to continue or tell him to leave. Also wondering if the prostitute swallows, in light of this:
In Amsterdam, since it is a legal profession and there is free health care, the risk of STDs are much lower. The ladies are provided free testing whenever they want and almost all of them take advantage of this (we talked with a former prostitute about the realities of this world). They take their health seriously (especially since it costs them nothing to do so) and will not engage without condoms.

Do they give head with condoms on, and charge that much?
 
Yes he had to wear a condom. He said he will post his experience, maybe tomorrow.

I need to get some sleep. After he came home the second time, it was harder. I need to sleep on it and process. We learned a lot tonight.
 
*hug!*
 
Late for you making your decision. However, we've had this agreement in our marriage for eight years now. I have certain boundaries I have always required. However, when he follows the boundaries, it has never been an issue for our marriage. He had a period of time when he did NOT follow my boundaries...which led to guilt...which led to even more broken boundaries and cheating behaviors. However, NONE of that was because he was partaking of legal entertainment.

We worked through his mistakes and cheating, and when I felt I could trust him again, I let him have options again.
 
Back
Top