So quick intro to my current situation -
Married for 10+ years monogamous up until recently - healthy loving relationship, 2 kids.
My wife and I always talked about a threesome as a fantasy, then about 4 months ago we were at a party - we both noticed the same girl, we got introduced through a mutual friend, and by the morning a threesome had been agreed upon
The girl lived some way away (single mum) so everything was arranged by phone - we all were equally involved in every step.
We've had three meetings now. Originally it was to be a threesome, no strings - but I guess inevitably feeling were born for all of us, our third loved our 1st meet as did my wife and I - it was all our first time and it was such a powerful experience.
The high that followed was immense followed by an even bigger crash. After a week our third seemed to pull back, then came on full blown for another meet.
This seems to be the pattern - my wife and I have made it clear we want more commitment, though we realize this is unfair and not really possible considering our situations and locations - but we let her know our feelings - she says she is in love with us, but she also trying to find her life partner.
So here I am - brand new to all this - struggling to come to terms with the new dynamics - trying to understand having feeling for two women - my wife is in love with her and loves that I have feelings for our third - she would love a full on poly relationship with this girl. the girl has hinted the same.
It all seems so natural when we're all together, and when were apart, my wife and seem to second guess everything and get paranoid that she's pulling away, then out of the blue, its back on in full swing!
I can only imagine how difficult it is for our third being involved with us but also being alone for most of the time - maybe this is why she pulls away.
So why the post - I guess I just want to understand my feelings - I'm not sure if this is damaging our marriage, when we think things are ending, my wife is distraught as am I. In my mind I'm 100% this has a finite time before it ends. I'm not sure how we'll be (my wife and I) when this ends? Will we be enough for each other?
How do you cope being in love with a third, when they seems so fickle yet so full on.
Is all this normal?
Should I feel so shit most of the time wondering If were going to see her again?
Should we cut our losses?
Is this behavior normal?
She quite the one in a million - and we both adore her, the feelings seem to be mutual, but on her terms and when it suits.
wtf is going on lol
Sorry for the long winded post - I was really just hoping for experienced input.
I feel like this is my first ever girlfriend and all my teenage insecurities are flooding back lol
Ind I'm getting jealous thinking about her seeing other people.
I never really considered myself poly, until it came and hit me in the face.
Thank you for your time
Married for 10+ years monogamous up until recently - healthy loving relationship, 2 kids.
My wife and I always talked about a threesome as a fantasy, then about 4 months ago we were at a party - we both noticed the same girl, we got introduced through a mutual friend, and by the morning a threesome had been agreed upon
The girl lived some way away (single mum) so everything was arranged by phone - we all were equally involved in every step.
We've had three meetings now. Originally it was to be a threesome, no strings - but I guess inevitably feeling were born for all of us, our third loved our 1st meet as did my wife and I - it was all our first time and it was such a powerful experience.
The high that followed was immense followed by an even bigger crash. After a week our third seemed to pull back, then came on full blown for another meet.
This seems to be the pattern - my wife and I have made it clear we want more commitment, though we realize this is unfair and not really possible considering our situations and locations - but we let her know our feelings - she says she is in love with us, but she also trying to find her life partner.
So here I am - brand new to all this - struggling to come to terms with the new dynamics - trying to understand having feeling for two women - my wife is in love with her and loves that I have feelings for our third - she would love a full on poly relationship with this girl. the girl has hinted the same.
It all seems so natural when we're all together, and when were apart, my wife and seem to second guess everything and get paranoid that she's pulling away, then out of the blue, its back on in full swing!
I can only imagine how difficult it is for our third being involved with us but also being alone for most of the time - maybe this is why she pulls away.
So why the post - I guess I just want to understand my feelings - I'm not sure if this is damaging our marriage, when we think things are ending, my wife is distraught as am I. In my mind I'm 100% this has a finite time before it ends. I'm not sure how we'll be (my wife and I) when this ends? Will we be enough for each other?
How do you cope being in love with a third, when they seems so fickle yet so full on.
Is all this normal?
Should I feel so shit most of the time wondering If were going to see her again?
Should we cut our losses?
Is this behavior normal?
She quite the one in a million - and we both adore her, the feelings seem to be mutual, but on her terms and when it suits.
wtf is going on lol
Sorry for the long winded post - I was really just hoping for experienced input.
I feel like this is my first ever girlfriend and all my teenage insecurities are flooding back lol
Ind I'm getting jealous thinking about her seeing other people.
I never really considered myself poly, until it came and hit me in the face.
Thank you for your time