Tales from the Time Share Wife

Inyourendo

New member
I started a post a couple years back but things have changed so i thought i would start a new one. Background: I often fantasized about being a sister wife when i was a teenager. My girlfriends and i would share boys and the idea of sharing a husband with my best friend really appealed to me. I met my ex husband when we were 17 and until 3 years later when he met another woman did i ever consider an open marriage, it wasnt even in my eyeline. so he meets this girl and said that he wanted to have sex with her. I had been with many people before we met but I had been his first kiss. experimenting was something that was really important to him so i gave him a blessing to have a ONE time meeting for sex with her. for the next 2 years she was in and out of our lives and my ex and i had broken up two times over this. he wanted to be with her but wasnt being respectful of me or my boundaries. when i finally did become comfortable with her and said she could move in she had decided that she wasnt willing to share him and so she left.

11 years of being together my ex and i parted ways when i met my current husband Nate. I met him online and fell in love with him over the phone. i knew the first night that i wanted to be with him forever and I knew my ex wouldnt allow me to have a male partner so I left him. Nate and I went into our relationship with it being sexually open but I was not yet willing for him to have an emotional relationship with anyone else. Over the years he’s had some 20 sex partners and a long term friend with benefit (she at one point called herself his gf). I had had a few casual encounters with men but they left me very unfulfilled. After 2.5 years of not having any sexual partners other than Nate and honestly not caring, I would go on dates here and there but never met anyone acceptable, I really started to question whether or not i was poly. I hadnt met anyone else that came even close to wanting to have a romantic relationship with.

Then Sam came into my life. I had met him winter of 2011. I had met him through a friend of mine. I immediately like him. he’s very good looking, smart, funny, weird etc. he actually works at my agency. I told my friend that i liked him, she started seeing him and I lost interest in being romantic with him after she got her hooks into him. they just had sex the one time but i wasnt interested in being with someone that she had been with. I was also pregnant at that time and then had to work on losing the weight, taking care of a newborn and starting college for the first time. the timing wasnt right but every few months his name would come up at work, or i would see him at the office and i would shoot him a text. he always kept it formal and i never got the vibe that he was interested in me. I would take him off the shelf, dust him off and put him back. I still liked him, i figured it was a fun game to keep tabs on him.

Nate was going to be in a fri-tue medical study for 5 weeks straight so i thought i would check out the strictly platonic section of craigs list to see if there was anyone interesting i could talk with to occupy my lonely time with nate gone. I read this very awesome ad and i messaged them “your name wouldnt’ happen to be Sam would it?” it was not Sam (it was actually this richard guy that i already knew lol) but it put Sam in my head that night so I thought I would send him a text and ask him out finally. we started texting and he did agree to going out on a date. turned out he was sick as a dog in bed and was using my texts as a welcome distraction from his pain. he discovered through texting me that there was a lot more to me than what he imagined and i discovered that he had been watching me from afar for awhile. he had a horrible breakup from his ex and i reminded him too much of her, he thought i was some swinger just looking for a temporary boy toy and he didn't want to get involved with me. (the second time we had met was at my friend's house and she had tried to get me to make out with her in front of him. I wasn't feeling it so I didn't and thank goodness I didn't because he’s monogamous and that would have totally turned him off from me forever) He learned that i wanted every bit to be a girlfriend to him and that I wanted forever, not some fling. he tried to fight it (he says) but he fell madly in love with me and even though its been a very short time I know that eventually he will be a second husband to me.

something about Sam that I discovered is that he is very much a romantic and sensitive man. there was no games here, he loved me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. he is willing to be with me even though he is monogamous because he loves me very much. he immediately integrated me into his life and i feel like it’s gone by so fast but at the same time it feels like forever. i am so happy that I have him in my life. I look forward to our future together and honestly can't believe I am really in the position that I am in. I never thought that i would have 2 amazing men in my life who love me so much.

Even though in theory i was alway going to have another partner, in the 5 years Nate and I had been together I hadn't had any partners beyond casually dating. so this has been an adjustment for Nate because he’s not use to having me gone. he’s not use to me loving another. it’s been an adjustment for me too, i dont want to overshare because I don't want Nate to feel sad but I also don't want him to feel like I’m hiding things from him either. I originally wanted to have 1 night a week with another partner but I discovered that just isn't enough, I crave to see Sam so much and I also want to be there for him so he doesn't feel like he’s just some after thought to me. he does understand that I have a family and that i have obligations so i negotiated that I would spend sat. and mon nights with Sam. I work tue and wed night so that leaves thur, fri and sun night for Nate if he doesnt have plans with someone else.

Nate doesnt have any partners. he had his “girlfriend” Jane but she has a boyfriend now and she and Nate are no longer having sex with each other. Nate feels sad that I have someone else and he doesnt. Sat. seemed particularly hard for him this week because he wanted to make plans to go to a show with someone and didnt have anyone he was willing to go with. he did go over and screw his fuck buddy but that doesnt really give him that emotional or intellectual connection that he craves. Nate told me that he feels that he’s not good enough for me and that the only women that are interested in him are people that he doesnt want to have a relationship with. this isnt really a new thing, he’s always had terrible self esteem even though he’s very attractive, smart and funny. he’s an artist and very much has an artist’s temperament. he’s always criticizing himself and doesnt seem to find joy in the successes he has. when i got back home Sunday afternoon I really tried to focus on Nate but he chalked that up to :”sam being at game night” rather than me wanting to spend time with him. we cuddled on the couch and watched xfile for a few hours but he still said that he felt disconnected. I try very hard to focus on him when we are together, not gush about Sam and to listen and talk to him. it seems that we have these very long discussions about his feelings every day. now I dont mind it, i love talking but I feel like Im constantly reassuring him and often I find myself feeling guilty that he feels this way.

in the past i might have ended a relationship before it even stated for the fact that i dont like conflict, I dont like feeling uncomfortable or having tension so if that meant just being monogamous while nate had a bunch of sex partners, so be it. but I wont do that with Sam. Im in love with him. Im not willing to go without him and Im not willing to break his heart either. Nate will just have to get over it. last night he said “I dont know if I will ever be ok with this” that was really hard to hear. what have we been doing all these years? he’s known that I was looking for another partner all these years. was he banking on that I wouldnt find someone? Granted up until Sam said he would be my boyfriend I had not but I thought it might happen someday. up until Sam I hadnt met anyone that met the huge laundry list of requirements that i had in a partner. not only that but they had to obviously be interested in me and there also had to be chemistry. i hadnt met anyone close to that. I guess looking back now I can see why he thought it was safe to say I would never find anyone long term and he would never have to share me with someone. I mean other than Jane whom he didnt have a romantic relationship for beyond a casual friendship and sex he hadnt had a real girlfriend. How would I handle it if he loved someone? I imagine if I wasnt with sam i would feel intimidated, insecure, scared to lose him, scared of the changes etc. I get where Nate is coming from and Im doing my darndest to make sure that I am giving him everything that he needs (that I can give) the only thing I wont do is let him sabatage things with Sam. I dont think he will but I know there have been people out there that pick fights right before a date and demand that their partner cancel to “work things out” I made it clear to Nate that wasnt something I would allow. I also wont allow Nate to have a veto. Sam isnt someone who is dispensable, if Nate is having remorse for being poly at this point it’s too late for him to go back now.
 
So while im glad that he’s so communicative with me, he’s someone that must talk things out where i prefer to work things out in my head (mostly) then sharing. it’s become a bit daunting and emotionally exhausting to constantly reassure. I understand if It was someone else and they were letting things fester then it could be a bad situation for all of us.

3/26

we have been having some good talks lately. the one last night was particularly nice because afterward although i felt exhausted i felt clean, much like that sweet release after a good cry. I had read some of what i wrote about my perception of the situation and our talks and he disagreed with me as I knew he would. he sees himself very differently than I see him. he feels that yes while he does get in a funk one in a while he is pragmatic about himself and that he isn't’ always mopey. he told me that he’s not sure if he could live with Sam but that is so far off. surely by then they will have become friends. they have already been facebook friends for a year and Sam very much wants to get to that place where they are comfortable with each other. despite the fact that sam is mono he feels ok about me being married. in no where in his thoughts does he think about me being single and us being alone with each other. he knows such things isn't possible and so he doesn't even allow himself to fantasize. I think the other day when Nate was saying he wasn't sure if he would ever be ok with that he was just upset still that i had spent too long with sam. we have since decided that if I'm to go over on a night that normally isn't a night i would go that I would tell him him what time i would be home at and be home at the time. it was my fuck up and i own it, despite any reasoning i have behind it. I have to start owning up to my mistakes and making it right instead of trying to be logical or expect that if i'm ok with something that everyone else is going to be as well. when i came home tuesday afternoon everything felt fine to me.
 
he told me that he’s not sure if he could live with Sam but that is so far off. surely by then they will have become friends. they have already been facebook friends for a year and Sam very much wants to get to that place where they are comfortable with each other.

I wouldn't count on this ever happening. My husband's girlfriend and I are good friends, we were friends before they even started dating, but I don't think I'd ever want to live with her. My ex-boyfriend and my husband got along alright but I don't think either one of them would have ever wanted to live with the other one.

I wouldn't put any type of pressure on your husband to try to become friends with Sam so you can eventually live together. That's just a recipe for disaster, in my opinion. If Sam and Nate become friends, that's great, I just would leave them alone to figure out that part of their relationship by themselves. Even though both of them are involved with you, if and when a friendship forms between them, it is THEIR friendship and you should treat it like it has nothing to do with you.

Other than that, I think you're doing a great job. It's important to listen to our partners and understand them and I think you're doing great with that.
 
Im definitely letting the development of their relationship go at their pace and i don't feel any need to rush. Sam and I took the girls on our trip to the mall tonight. I was bringing the girls home and nate suggested I just go out with Sam after because he "wouldn't be any fun" sam and I really appreciated the gesture but i chose to stay home anyway.
 
I suppose it is an adjustment of sorts for Nate. Maybe in due time he can forge a friendship with Sam. How much interaction do they have? Is it always awkward, or are they a bit more at ease now?

As with all things, give it time. I am happy that you are happy, and I hope it continues to go well for all of you.

Ry
 
Well they are facebook friends so they comment on each others posts and mine periodically. Nate had only met Sam 2 years ago when sam was dating my friend. Nate has known about my crush on sam this entire Time and would tease me about it. A couple weeks ago sam showed up at my house because he was supposed to meet mw but he got confused and came by my house instead if where I was at. He asked if he could. Come in when nate answered the door and they visited for awhile. It was awkward for both but Sam was glad it happened. Nate doesn't have an issue with sam but he doesn't feel like they would be friends other than game acquaintances if I wasn't in the picture. Sam really likes nate. He has a lot of respect for him and wants to build a rapport with him even though he knows that will take time.
 
Last night sam and I went to a "kegger" that I had been invited to by one of my co-workers. It was a lot of fun, we shared a bottle of peach vodka? Took a bath in the Jacuzzi tub (so freaking awesome)then walked home. I tend to be a wallflower and even though sam also has social anxiety he really brings out this silly side of me. A close friend of mine that used to live here was like that, ive missed that more than I thought.

I went home earlier tham notmal this afternoon because I have to work and wanted to spend time with my family first. Nate was in a better mood and we talked more and it was a good talk. I truly feel that he's sorting out his feeling and mourning the loss of the future he imagined we would have.
He really thought it would be just he and me living together in our older age. The prospect of sam moving in with us a few years from now would change all that. Again I told him it's so far off and I would never force it on him. It seemed to make sense we would just share space because I wouldn't have to go between homes but if he was truly unhappy any it then sam wouldn't move in. He acknowledges that would not be any better.

Nate also said that sam and I doing stuff together make him feel like things we've done. (Taking a bath together for example) but I reminded him that he's done things like shower with others and that didn't make our showers together less special.
 
Oh and if people at the office didn't know about me being poly or sam and I being together they do now :p several people were there last night. Comfortable with that, people that actually talk to me on a regular basis know that im poly and about sam anyway. He says he's proud to have me as a girlfriend and im not ashamed to be poly. Im the weird vegan chic who had 2 unassisted homebirth as ate my placenta, nothing I do should shock those people lol
 
things have been really good with Nate and me. these past couple days ive been feeling very amorous toward him, where before we had a bit of a disconnect. it's nice that things are back to normal.
 
Nate had a date last night, this gal that he's been talking to for a very long time. she's pregnant and that is super sexy for him, i hope he cam "hit that" because I know that is a desire he has. he told me last night that she's very much like him, i think that's pretty cool because i think Sam is very much like me and that sense of whimsy when you meet a kindred spirit. He's trying to make plans with her for monday since that is when i have classes and one of my overnights with Sam.

things are going great with Sam, although i was very inebriated last night and when in that state I find that I dont like him that much (although im fully aware that i feel that way and why when im in that state so it doesnt bother me because i know it's only because im in that state) i told Sam how i felt and he got a bit miffed with me. i understand why but it was really uncomfortable seeing him in that light. I almost wanted to just call it a night and go home, I found myself scared. Not that he was doing anything wrong but I could tell that he was bothered although his words said otherwise, his tone betrayed him. We made love instead and all was well. I sobered up some and we were able to have a heart to heart.

See Im very much a libra and he's very much a scorpio. Im very insensitive and he's very sensitive. Its hard for me to empathise with others because things rarely bother me and I assume that it wont bother them. I need to realize that people really are sensitive and be aware that my words (although not meant to be hurtful) does have an impact. Sam needs to learn that "that's just Sue" and that's my way and I never mean anything by the things I say, im just being true to myself and how i feel at the moment.

i think last night was a good learning experience for both of us.
 
Today was a hard day for me, it started off well but then turned to shit. Sam has been considering renting the house 2 doors down. this would have a lot of benefits and it’s a really great deal. Nate has known about this, it was even his suggestion that Sam see if he could sublet his apartment but today when i saw the owners outside i was mentioning how i want to go look at the place. well something in this prompted a reaction from Nate.

he asked me why i wanted sam to move there and i stated my reasons why and he stated his concerns and i was more than fine agreeing that perhaps at this point in time i can see why that might not be a good idea and he was all “no, im not saying that, im just not sure how i feel”.....”Im not sure where ill be at in a year….” um excuse me? what? what do you mean you don't know where you will be at in a year?!?! you’ll be here with me, come lets go to the other room and talk about this.

this turned into a conversation about how he’s not happy. he’s never been happy, he never will be happy, with me or anyone else for that matter. Im in love with him, i knew that he’s like eeyore, ive accepted that about him. he’s an old soul, a curmudgeon at times. but i love him, he’s a good husband and father. i would never want him to go, he’s such an important part of my life. he’s my best friend and i always see him in my future. he basically eludes to the idea that he’s not in love with me, but he loves me more than he loved the others. I swear i felt myself die inside. I cried so hard, not my usual silent tears but heart wrenching sobs that stole my breath. I have cried like that in years. I was devastated and terrified that he would leave me. I told him how he balances me and that he’s very much a part of me. but sam represents something else, he unburied this part of me that i forgot about. my spirit that had been hidden away because of my ex, sam helped me find that. sam makes me feel like that little empty void, the shadow i couldnt quite figure out what was needed, has been filled in. Just as I need nate to keep me focused, to give me the strength i need to keep going to school, keep growing emotionally, I need sam to keep me silly and to remember to be goofy.

Nate suggested we take a drive, i needed to head toward school. I hopped in the shower because the water always makes me feel better then we leave. Im partially upset that we had a test today that I had planned on studying a couple hours for, I didnt get the chance but thankfully i think i did well enough on the test. we parked the car and just talk. it feels real and i feel like i know him better than before. I feel sometimes that i don't really even know who he is at times. he’s very in his head about things, thinking 5 layers deeper than I am. I see a problem, i fix it. he says that’s just a bandaid because that doesn't fix the underlying problem. he says that he can't tell me what our problems are because when i get upset he forgets all about them and just wants to make me feel better. he tells me that he feels like im pushing him into getting a girlfriend and that he likes the fact that he can date others and they know that it wont be an emotional thing because he just can't give that emotion to someone. I told him i only wanted him to date others because i don't want him to be lonely and i see how happy he is when he’s talking to someone new. it makes me glad to see him that happy, i think he truly would like to date someone and is just upset about the quality of women he attracts. the ones that he really likes don't stay around long or only call him over when they way to be “bad” and that makes him just feel used.

I also now know that he just things so much, about everything, hyper analyzing everything. always thinking dark thoughts and what ifs. he told me that he had thought about stepping back and letting sam take his spot and that really upset me because i don't want nate to go anywhere. I like being with him, and i like being with sam. I want them both in my life. nate is always there in my tomorrows. to further get deeper i understand why he needed me to have an emotional break. without it i would only see the logical side of things, because that is how my head works. i never look at the emotional part of things. It never occurred to me that having sam move two doors down might mean that boundaries could be crossed or that nate would feel edged out. Nate told me that he had considered having sam over occasionally but he’s worried about being affectionate in front of sam or that he might say something he shouldnt or maybe even i would just want more and more. because i do tend to move fast, im like a drunk who is having so much fun she doesn't know when to stop drinking until i get too much of a good thing. moving is a pretty big commitment even if it’s 2 doors down.

I told nate that i don't mind having real conversations about things that are bothering him but he can't insinuate that he will leave me. he can't tell me id be better off without him. it’s devastating me each time he does it. it’s practically emotional abuse and crying just triggers past trauma for me.
 
...but he can't insinuate that he will leave me. he can't tell me id be better off without him. it’s devastating me each time he does it...

This.

I understand how you feel. When MrS's mind wanders down dark hallways and his depression surfaces, these are the places it goes.:( Makes me want to howl with frustration.

(For the record, this isn't new - the addition of Dude just added the refrain "...besides, you have Dude, you don't need me around, I'll just bring you down..." Arrrgh.:mad:
 
Thank you. We talked some more. He was miffed that I was late coming home the other day. I knew it at the time. He was withholding affection (mostly playfully) well we really talked about it tonight and I explained why I stayed late and he was like "see why did you tell me that." Well because he doesn't like me making excuses. He's told me so. I told him "I just wanted to say im sorry and say it wouldn't happen again." He tells me I sweep stuff under the rug and put bandaids on things. I tell him I see what I did wrong. I know why it upset you (he stayed at home instead of going out because he anticipated mw to be home) and to correct the situation I would insure that he wants me home by 2, then I'll be home by 2.

Ok feel like I'm constantly pissing him off. Its damned info do, damned if I dont. He wants me to not hide things, but then he doesn't want me talking about sam. He doesn't want me making excuses but if I don't then I'm hiding things.

I told him all this. He thinks he's crazy, he says he's being a jerk. I tell him I can't be mad at him because I hate conflict but he has to tell me when and why he's mad. Its completely frustrating to feel like something is wrong but be given the cold shoulder
 
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Sorry to hear you're going through this. Offering emotional support. My hubby sometimes makes noises about leaving me, and yeah, it kicks the legs out from under me. I suspect that's the point.

Hang in there, you guys have been through a lot together and I suspect he'll come around when his internal sun comes back out.
 
Thank you :) today was better. We made love and talked and I took a nice shower and lounged around and it made me feel better. He told me we're ok and that he's probably suffering housewife syndrome and that he thought he was helping me (yesterday) but now just feels bad. He later joked around with me and things just felt normal again.
 
Looking again at my personality type I was so surprised to see how accurate it was for me. A lot of the things I thought was because surely I must be on the spectrum is just a personality quirk for this type it turns out.

People with this personality type tend to be very reliable. Once the ESTJ decides to commit, they will try very hard to make the relationship work.

This is very true. I have a history of long term relationships to those I know I wanted to stick to. I stayed with my ex for 11 years even though he didnt satisfy any of my needs. Not sure why but i don't regret it. he was a huge part of my personal growth journey and being with him got me away from my family. Had I stayed in oregon I think I would be a very different person right now.

It is unlikely that they will be spontaneous or unpredictable and may even be seen as boring by some other personality types However, ESTJs tend to have a lot of energy and enthusiasm, which translate into unexpected surprises and interesting activities.

This is true as well. Once in awhile I have a fun streak but mostly im a homebody who likes to cuddle and watch movies. Its really important that my partner is a spontaneous sort because when I actually do have that spontaneous moment I need to be with someone who is going to want to go balls to the walls with me. If i was with someone who poo-pooed everything I wanted to do all the time that would be difficult. I really do need to do something new every so often.
 
very trustworthy and committed partners, able and willing to do everything in their power to ensure that the relationship is strong and stable, also tend to have strong principles, and their determination can often turn into stubbornness, with the ESTJ believing that they are always right.

Some things I most definitely will not waver on. Human rights, equality etc are something that is very important to me and not something I am willing to compromise on. If I attempt to educate someone and they still refuse to be swayed then if it’s an important enough subject I would most likely choose not to continue with them (for instance if I found out my new boyfriend is a bigot or would want to circumcise our child) I will compromise though and acknowledge why they may feel a certain way. although I find out right away how compatible someone is for me, no sense wasting time with someone if they arent fundamentally compatible.

People with the ESTJ personality type are great at protecting their loved ones and defending their interests. Standing up for your partner is one thing; telling them what to do or not to do is quite another.

Sam likes to kid about being with “Manager Sue” I always tell him it’s a “service he signed up for” I tend to take charge and something that I do on a professional level is manage a home. Although it’s true that Sam asked for my help to keep him organized. i don't have a problem having a more hands off approach if it was a partner i didnt live with but Im pretty alpha in my home and like to be in charge of pretty much everything. I sometimes miss being a homemaker because Im really good at it. Ive had to let some things slide since I work and go to school full time.
 
ESTJ personalities are far less spontaneous compared with other Extraverted and Observant (ES) types, and they will probably stick to places, activities, and people they are familiar with (e.g., family events, nights out with colleagues, community groups, etc.).

Yes, i have terrible social anxiety and hate going to new places unless I’ve researched it first (unless I happen to be in a particularly adventurous mood) Something about my expectation of something and the reality not matching up. Being with someone that is more spontaneous and pull me out of my shell is great. something that I recently realized about myself that is I want to do something and my partner wont enjoy it (like they are openly begrudgingly agreeing to go to satisfy me) then I wont even bother going, not to make them feel bad but because I just can't enjoy myself if they are having a terrible time. Esp if all they will do is gripe about it. Likewise I don't gripe when Im going somewhere new and uncomfortable because I don't want to bring them down. I feel terrible that I did that to an ex boyfriend and i wont do it anymore, I just try to find something positive about the experience if I can.

likely to prioritize the physical side of intimacy rather than approach it from the spiritual or highly emotional perspective.. The ESTJ is unlikely to be expressive verbally, but their sensuality will more than compensate for that.

This is true as well. I feel that sex is a very important part of intimacy and I will start to feel disconnected from my partner if we arent having sex frequently. Even if Im not in the mood I still choose to have sex because of this. Ive been with someone who never wanted to have sex with me and it was very hard to be the one always getting turned down all the time. I don't want to do that to someone else and I know that one I get started Ill get in the mood. Very rarely have I turned down sex and it was usually because I was sick or exhausted.
 
touchy-feely moments as feelings and emotions are definitely not their strongest suit.. Ironically, ESTJs also tend to have a very strong need to feel appreciated and respected by their partners, even though this need is more rational than emotional (i.e., the ESTJ would rather hear that their partner appreciates their advice and support than have their partner express this indirectly through affection, increased attention, etc.).

This totally makes sense. I had noticed that I don't give out compliments unless i’m feeling particularly amorous. even in my professional life i had to learn to make an effort to leave notes for my staff to let them know they are doing a good job because so easy it is to gripe about the stuff that isnt right but forget to say the good things. I think in relationships that is very easy to do and I make an effort to not take anyone for granted,

I once dated this man very briefly who would not give me a compliment, EVER. in fact he criticized me quite a bit the short time we spent time together. That definitely made me realize that I needed to hear compliments. it was a huge issue for me with my ex of 11 years. He never complimented me and when I would ask “Do i look nice” “did you like this or that” etc he would usually just say it was okay and tell me what was wrong with it. Being with partners who go out of their way to say sweet things about me, even small stuff like I smell good or look nice goes a long way for me.

I even realized that this is probably why gifts don't matter to me. Ive never gotten satisfaction out of a gift (unless it was something completely out of the blue and just what I wanted but would never buy myself). I get all my satisfaction from being TOLD.

very direct and honest with their partners. will try to deal with the issue by approaching it directly rather than attempting to sweep it under the carpet. Their approach is likely to be highly rational and unemotional, even if the actual issue is quite sensitive. level-headedness and calm

This is something that both sam and nate appreciate. I hate drama and conflict. I can't stand bad feelings in a relationship and i try to resolve things as quickly as possible. I think the issues ive had with nate is hes only telling me symptoms of a problem and so I go about correcting myself so the symptom is solved but I never really understand what the problem is. I often wonder if he’s just imagining some problem because he can't even tell me what it is. I have no problem looking at a situation from a logical side. If i did something wrong I want to dissect why I did it. what other events could have lead to this. Nate joked that he’s certain most couples don't discuss issues in deep detail as we do. Something that nate loves about sam and I being together is he feels like Im more open to these deep discussions where in the past I may have been closed off.
 
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